Warning: Hacks for Hacks tips may have harmful side effects on your writing career, and should not be used by minors, adults, writers, poets, scribes, scriveners, journalists, or anybody.
Well, well, WELL, look who’s got a book coming out? What started out as some chickenscratch on a napkin has culminated in a published book with a cover and paragraphs and everything. This calls for a celebration. A book launch is your chance to inflate your ego, generate some buzz, and to show your doubting parents that those rent-free months in their basement weren’t for nothing. If you’re going to throw a shindig, though, don’t just set out some Cool Ranch Doritos and two-liter bottles of pop. You owe it to your career to make this the social event of the season. I’m going to show you how.
Set a Budget: Precisely calculate costs for food, alcohol, decorations, pens for signing books, and giveaway bookmarks. Once you’ve got that total, tack on 40% or so since you know you’ll go over budget anyway.
Theme: Choose a theme that relates to your book. Is it historical fiction? Period-inspired clothing is all the rage. Literary fiction? Set up tables where attendees can smoke cigarettes and contemplate the constant daily dehumanization inflicted by modern life. Military science fiction? Have some guys with guns burst into the room without warning. Ha ha, what fun!
Invitations: Like any good party, you can’t have just ANYBODY showing up. Limit invitations to whoever happens to be on your Facebook friends list. Don’t bother with real-life invitations–you’ve burned out all your real-life friendships by asking them to beta-read your novel.
Reserve a Space: Bookstores are great because they sell books. You also sell books. This is not rocket science. Still, you’ll want to be sure you get your preferred date and time, so book the venue, at minimum, an hour or two before the party.
[pullquote]Precisely calculate costs for food, alcohol, decorations, pens for signing books, and giveaway bookmarks. Once you’ve got that total, tack on 40% or so since you know you’ll go over budget anyway.[/pullquote]
- Drinks: Make your life easy and get a keg. Kegs are great because they’re economical and have no labels, so nobody will question you if you say the Natty Light is Stella Artois. If you want something classier than beer foam in red Solo cups (my MY, aren’t we FANCY?), you can magically improve the taste of any beer merely by adding umlauts to the label with a Sharpie. Those bottles of Coörs or Büd Lïght Lïme sound kinda swanky all of a sudden, don’t they?
- Food: Taco bar. [Read more…]