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About Jim Dempsey

Jim Dempsey is a story editor who specializes in detailed analysis and editing of novel manuscripts through his company, Novel Gazing. He has worked as an editor for more than 20 years. He has a master’s degree in creative writing and is a professional member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading. Jim is fascinated by the similarities between fiction and psychotherapy, since both investigate the human condition, the things that make us uniquely human. He explores this at The Fiction Therapist website. If you have a specific concern with your novel, send an email to jim [at] thefictiontherapist.com, or visit the website to ask for a free sample edit.

Recent Posts by this author:

  • Your Words or Your Editor’s?
  • A Simple Guide to Symbolism in Stories
  • Writing When You’re Not Writing
  • Create Conflict in Your Characters
  • Do You Really Want to Be a Writer?
  • Manipulate Your Readers’ Point of View
  • What Really Drives Your Characters?
  • Writing is a Labyrinth of Choices
  • How to Give Useful Criticism
  • The Wonders of your Character’s World View
  • Achieve Your Writing Goals
  • How to Respond to Criticism

    • Your Words or Your Editor’s?

    By 16 Comments

    This month’s fiction therapy is a reply to a question from a member of the WU community, Nanette J. Purcigliotti.

    I had edited some of Nanette’s work, and she had some questions afterwards, with concerns that I think many writers have about working with an editor. Here’s what she wrote:

    “I thank you again for your revised suggestions. But they are your words, not mine. That doesn’t make me comfortable. How do I get around that?”

    A fair question, I think, and I completely understand Nanette’s concern. Working with an editor means that some of that person’s suggestions, and even words, could make their way into your work, a work that is deeply personal to you. And this can be done to the point that it doesn’t feel like your words. I can get that, and I can understand that an author would be uncomfortable with that.

    Here are a couple of sentences from Nanette’s text as an example of where she had this feeling. Please realize that these sentences are taken out of the context of the whole story, so they’re difficult to judge on their own:

    Amanda’s mother appeared[1] in the bedroom’s oak-wood doorframe. She tapped the right heel of her Jimmy Choo shoes, said to her fourteen-year-old daughter[2], “This is no time to daydream. You’re beginning a new term in a new school.”

    And here are two of the revision suggestions I made.

    [1] The word “appeared” is a little passive. This seems to be a no-nonsense character. I think she’d wake Amanda from her dream with a hard rap on the doorframe, making Amanda turn to see her mother.

    [2] The phrase “said to her fourteen-year-old daughter” here looks like exposition, like this is information the author wants to tell the readers. It would be better to let this detail come out in the story more naturally. And the next sentence has the perfect opportunity as you could revise that to: “You’re starting eighth grade at a new school.” Or: “You’re fourteen now. You won’t be able to dream your way through your new school.”

    Here is Nanette’s latest draft of these sentences after my suggestions: [Read more…]

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    A Simple Guide to Symbolism in Stories

    By 16 Comments

    It seems we cannot get enough of pandemics. Dean Koontz’s novel The Eyes of Darkness jumped to number three in Amazon’s charts, with a reported increase in sales of 3,000%. It’s about a virus, a biological weapon, developed by China, called Wuhan-400. Spooky, right? Especially since it was written in 1981. Maybe it’s mostly conspiracy […]

    Writing When You’re Not Writing

    By 18 Comments

    This month for Fiction Therapy, I answer a question from a member of the WU community, Al Rutgers. Al is 63 years old and has been writing in starts and stops for 15 years. He says: I’ve studied the craft of writing by taking some university writing courses, some online courses, and reading books and […]

    Create Conflict in Your Characters

    By 8 Comments

    There are no murders, no kidnappings, no killer robots, no evil wizards, no spies, no ghastly villains, no wars and not a single shot fired in Sally Rooney’s 2017 debut novel. In fact, the title pretty much describes what this book is about: Conversations with Friends. And yet this is a captivating page-turner of a […]

    Do You Really Want to Be a Writer?

    By 18 Comments

    When people ask what I do and I say I’m a novel editor, they tell me they’d love to write a book some day, once the kids are grown up, when they have more time, or if only they were good enough. Some people have already given up trying. They say, ‘I suppose if I […]

    Manipulate Your Readers’ Point of View

    By 4 Comments

    After seeing lots of hype in the media, I’ve been catching up with the HBO series Succession. The writers are there are expert at manipulating their audience. Their basic message is straightforward and not subtle. The main characters – members of a family that owns a multinational media and entertainment empire – are horrible, selfish […]

    What Really Drives Your Characters?

    By 4 Comments

    There’s a lot of writing advice that tells you to find your characters’ goals. If you can work out what drives them in their lives, you can use those goals to drive the story. Most of this advice will tell that your character should have two goals: internal and external. The alcoholic detective’s external need […]

    Writing is a Labyrinth of Choices

    By 8 Comments

    Your phone rings. You check the screen. You don’t recognize the number. Do you answer it? The cars in front of you on the highway slow down, their brake lights glowing. The traffic is gridlocked up ahead, but there’s an exit just before. Do you take it? Life is full of decisions, apparently simple choices […]

    How to Give Useful Criticism

    By 10 Comments

    The great thing about Writer Unboxed is the sense of community it gives to writers. There’s the twitter account to follow, the Facebook group to connect with others, and, of course, the unconference where you can really engage in all things writery. All of this is so important in the otherwise solitary task of writing. […]

    The Wonders of your Character’s World View

    By 6 Comments

    A father, Jim, takes his son thirteen-year-old son, Roy, to Alaska in the tradition of all those great male adventurers. It’s long been an ambition for Jim, to pack up and live off the land for a year. It gives him the chance to connect with his son and show the boy what it means […]

    Achieve Your Writing Goals

    By 8 Comments

    There are times when writing is easy, when you get through that daily word count without too much effort. And there are times when the final goal – that moment when you can type The End – seems very far away. There will be days when you think it will be impossible to reach, and […]

    How to Respond to Criticism

    By 17 Comments

    Last time, I looked at how to deal with your own inner critic, and this month it seems appropriate and timely to look at external criticism. Any kind of feedback on your writing—whether good or bad—can be useful, but the negative stuff can hit hard, causing a burst of emotions within you. What’s the best […]