Twitter is chock full of vague, generic, redundant tweets. Usually my eyes skim over them like the filler they are, but every once in a while I’ll sink into one and roll around in the absurdity of it. I have no excuse other than sheer glee at such nonsense. (Yes, my humor is a little twisted.) [pullquote]I have an announcement! I’ll be looking for your questions about the strange and magical ways of Twitter – everything from function to etiquette to theory – and answering a few of them right here on Writer Unboxed. Details are at the bottom of this post.[/pullquote]So today I thought I’d share the joy by posting the 10 most generic tweets of all time – snark included free of charge.

(But seriously, I’ve posted a few of these too. Don’t sweat it, guys. This is all in good fun.)

1. I’m drinking coffee. I like it!

Yes, we know. Everyone likes coffee. You’re probably not even a “real writer” if you don’t have coffee siphoned down your throat as a form of alarm clock. (We won’t speak of The Tea People.)

2. I want some chocolate.

And?

3. I love bacon.

I’m seeing a trend here…

4. Nutella, amirite?

I don’t know how to break this to you guys, but Nutella really isn’t that great. I mean, it’s fine, but it’s no coffee. Let’s just not pretend it is, okay?

5. I’m upset. =(

I’m sorry, but that is so vague I have no possible answer but… “I’m sorry.” And if we ask, “What’s wrong?” and you can’t even tell us, a particularly unfriendly lobster will come pinch your toes tonight while you sleep. Not even kidding.

6. I have good news that I can’t share! =D

[Read more…]

Apparently I’m a glutton for punishment, because if there's one topic that could be considered controversial about the usage of Twitter, it’s this one. When someone new follows you, should you follow them back? Some say yes, of course; it’s rude not to. Some say no, why should I? Twitter isn’t meant to be reciprocal. Others (like me) land somewhere in the middle. And still others are baffled, overwhelmed, or totally undecided. Today I’m going to break down each school of thought in hopes … [Read more...]

Okay, tweeps and future tweeps! So far in my column we’ve covered getting started on Twitter, the retweet, the #hashtag, and basic Twitter etiquette. Today I’m going to go over the ins and outs of another Twitter staple: the @reply, also known as a mention. (Still not sure if this whole Twitter thing is even for you? This post might help you decide.) Terminology First and foremost, what’s that at symbol for? The at symbol (@: read as “at” in common speech) followed by a username is called a … [Read more...]

It might (or might not) come as a surprise to you that many writers hate Twitter. I confess that I’ve had my own “die, Twitter, die” moments over the years, and it’s usually due to discourtesy. The character limit, the flood of information, the time drain: those I can stomach. But people being rude or obnoxious? Well, I think we’ve all had moments where we wanted to jump ship. Unfortunately, we can’t make everyone else use Twitter well. What we can do as denizens of the writing Twit-o-sphere … [Read more...]

After weighing the pros and cons of Twitter last time, maybe you’ve decided to take the leap. But you’re understandably overwhelmed, because Twitter is a strange and mysterious land to the uninitiated. Never fear! I’m here with the basics of what you need to do to start off your Twitter life with a bang. And even if this Twitter thing is old hat to you, I hope you’ll give it a quick glance, because there are tips for everyone hiding in these basics. Let’s go! 1. Use the name you publish … [Read more...]

In my last post here at Writer Unboxed, I mentioned that – despite what the “build a platform” drones might chant outside your bedroom window at night – writers don’t have to be on Twitter. It is not required. Believe it or not, we are all grown-up people here (or let’s pretend we are), and we have the right to pick and choose which things we participate in. Shocking, right? I resisted the siren call of Twitter for years. Everyone and their dog was talking about how it’s so much better than … [Read more...]

This post probably isn’t what you’re expecting. If you’re looking for guidelines and tips on how to use and get the most out of Twitter, you can view a list of my past posts here. But before you get overwhelmed, don’t worry. This is not a crash-course on everything you could possible learn about the art of Twitter. This post is about what you really need to know about Twitter, and that boils down to five surprisingly simple things. 1. There is no one right way. Don’t roll your eyes; it’s true! … [Read more...]

Every once in a while, I’ll be on Twitter and start feeling glum. No one is talking to me, I think. No one new is following me. No one’s replying to my tweets. There’s a problem here, and that problem is me. It never fails that if I notice a Twitter slump, it’s my own fault. Whenever I start feeling left out, I know it’s because I’ve gotten lazy. Twitter is not always the priority, so there’s nothing wrong with letting it lag when you have other things to focus on (that writing thing, … [Read more...]

If you spend any amount of time on the internet, you’ve probably seen people using words or phrases with pound signs in front of them, #like #this. On Twitter, this is called a hashtag. Putting that symbol in front of a word turns it into a searchable link. In other words, you can then click on that #hashtag and see the tweets of everyone else also using it. It’s a way to find people talking about the same thing you’re talking about; it creates a larger conversation all in one feed. How to … [Read more...]

If you’re new to Twitter, you’ve likely already seen retweeting come up. If you’re about to jump on the bandwagon, this is one of the first things you’ll need to learn. And even if you’re a seasoned tweep, the intricacies of the mysterious retweet can be confusing. Don’t you worry; I’m here to help. Let’s walk through the details step by step. What a Retweet Is A tweet is 140-character message. When someone else publishes a tweet that you like, you can share it with your own followers by … [Read more...]

Hello Writer Unboxed readers! I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Annie Neugebauer, and I’m the new Twitter columnist around these parts. I’ll be blogging Twitter tips, theory, and practice every other month. Many thanks to Nina Badzin for recommending me, and to Therese Walsh and the whole WU crew for welcoming me with open arms. I’m going to assume that you guys have been following Nina’s posts (archived here, if you need to go back) and that you also know some basic Twitter … [Read more...]