Last night I sent an email to my editor, to which was attached the revised manuscript of my novel. The last six weeks have passed in a blur. I’ve been hunkered down dealing with a structural report that required rewriting large portions of the book, while beyond the insulating walls of my workspace the world was growing ever crazier, or so it seemed. I had to apply strict limits on my engagement with news media, despite the urge to tune in frequently and find out what bizarre thing had happened now. (The answer usually was, something even less believable than what happened yesterday, or an hour ago.) Truth really has become stranger than fiction: the current wild ride of US politics; the dog’s breakfast of Britain’s departure from the EU; the failure of some world leaders to act effectively when the looming disaster of climate change is staring them right in the face. Not to mention a global pandemic. People behaving badly. People eager to believe and promote blatant falsehoods. People turning irrational when asked to obey lawful instructions. Weird. Terrifying. And yet we can’t look away. Like it or not, this is the world we live in.
I wanted to know and I didn’t want to know. The workspace with its clearly defined project, its tight deadline and its isolation from the outside world became something akin to the cave of a hibernating creature in winter, except that instead of sleeping I was immersed in the world of the book, wrestling with the dilemmas of my characters, dealing with the logistical and continuity problems of a major rewrite, and keeping to a timetable that governed my waking hours. I was not in pandemic lockdown. But I was largely absent from the outside world, with my faithful writing companion, the old dog, pretty much my sole source of social interaction.
Of course, social media is always only a click away when you’re writing. And social media means wall to wall coverage of world events, ranging from the professional and well-informed to the wildest of incoherent rantings. Yes, I did check from time to time. How could I not? The news was like a compelling horror story that a person doesn’t really want to read, but keeps on reading anyway to find out just how horrific it can get.
I don’t often read the horror genre for entertainment. Such terrible things happen in real life that I have no wish to delve into fiction for more. Based on the same argument, I almost never write horror. All my work demonstrates my belief that justice, wisdom, courage, compassion and empathy still exist in our flawed society and can win out over cruelty and oppression. Whether it’s as small as one person performing an act of kindness and understanding, or as big as Greta Thunberg’s wake-up call to the world on climate change, every positive act counts.
When writing this novel earlier in 2020 I couldn’t shut out the chaos of the real world, and it had an odd effect on my ability to craft the story well. I just didn’t want to put my characters through too much suffering on their way to the story’s resolution. But, as we all know, setting the stakes high creates tension, and pace and tension are key to a compelling narrative. With the previous book I had no trouble doing that; the characters went through hell, both physically and psychologically. This time around, in a troubled world full of suffering people, I found myself wanting to treat the characters more kindly. No surprise, then, that the editors raised this point in their structural report, suggesting a story tweak that would place a vulnerable character in greater jeopardy and another under even more dire emotional pressure as a result. I made changes; I’ve learned enough over my years as a writer to recognise when the editor is right. And I’ve worked with editors long enough to be able to reach a satisfactory compromise.
So, the novel is off my hands, at least until copy edit time in a few more weeks. And I have a breather of sorts, during which I can ponder what lessons I’ve learned this time around. 2020 was an exceptional year. Being in a virtual hibernation cave meant I had more time to write. Awareness of the world outside the cave often got in the way of doing so. Google reminded me of all the places I’d visited over the last few months – rather than New Zealand and Ireland as planned, there were trips to the local park, to the shopping centre, to visit family in another suburb. I know how lucky I’ve been to have even that amount of freedom. I know how lucky I am to have got the novel finished. I made no New Year resolutions for 2020. But in the back of my mind, always, is the knowledge that, as writers, we share the job of making sense of that chaotic world out there and showing its truths to our readers in all their beauty and ugliness, their terror and wonder. We do it in many different ways, using many different genres. Whether we’re deep in the bear cave or out there engaging with real live people, our job is important. Keep going, friends. Carry your light forward.
I’d love to hear your observations on writing in 2020. Did you do better than usual? Not quite so well? Has the year of trouble changed the way you write, or what you write?
Photo credit: Photo 24405516 ©Sergey Uryadnikov | Dreamstime.com
About Juliet Marillier
Juliet Marillier has written twenty-four novels for adults and young adults as well as a collection of short fiction. Her works of historical fantasy have been published around the world and have won numerous awards. Juliet is currently working on a historical fantasy trilogy, Warrior Bards, of which the third book, A Song of Flight, will be published in August/September 2021. Her collection of reimagined fairy tales, Mother Thorn, will have a trade release in April 2021. Mother Thorn is illustrated by Kathleen Jennings and published by Serenity Press. When not writing, Juliet looks after Reggie, her elderly rescue dog.
Well said Juliet!
There’s been a strong undertow in the swimming pool this year.
I spent a whole writing day watching the Capitol Insurrection, and then two more days reading/watching the fallout. I’ve never been this fixated on the news.
My writing has an added focus on ethics. Are we a society that only cares about the consequences? Can we justify anything as long as it satisfies a jagged political agenda? I hope not. I hope we still care.
Lots of philosophical questions to consider, James. Is this a sudden deterioration of our ability to respect basic moral codes and maintain an orderly, functional society, or have we been gradually heading downhill for a very long time?
I want to believe that most of us do still care.
James, what most troubles me is that although this all feels sudden, shocking and violent, it seems as if we as a society have been heading down this path for a long while, in gradual steps. The situation here in Australia is nothing like what the US is experiencing now, but we have our share of right wing extremists as well as some politicians utterly lacking in compassion or empathy. Deep down I still believe in the innate goodness of the human spirit, but sometimes it’s a lot harder to see because of the craziness.
You’ve certainly done way better than I have. I didn’t think I was that affected by the pandemic at first, but weirdly, I haven’t been able to write much at all. I do read horror/apocalypse fiction for entertainment and sometimes write it, but with a real one going on, I just could not address any fictional version. Even movies, I’d watch them and then stop because they were dealing with their pandemic so stupidly! I’m making myself write now, while I’m on leave. It’s yet to be seen whether anything decent results!
We have to keep trying, I guess. Exercising our craft feels like a big step towards a more orderly existence, even if it’s only on our own small patch. I hope it goes well for you, Alex.
Juliet, your account of revision-and-distraction shows your professionalism and your humanity. Also, for me, it defines the work of writers. I’ve had a sinking feeling in my gut since before the 2016 election. And yes, this sickness has been brewing for a long time. Man’s inhumanity to man. The toxicity of thinking in terms of ‘other’. History shows us the darkness. But also, the bright spots. The moments where light shines from the dust-cloud. I live for those moments, and maybe I write for them, too. The 2020 lockdown gave me the space to hunker down and write a first draft of a second novel. But on Jan. 6, I was glued to the news. By late day I was exhausted. Then I got angry that I’d let the sickness of one man distract. I’m on a media diet now and feeling less nuts. As an optimist, I put my money on the angels. Thanks for this, and stay well.
Thank you, Susan. Yes, it’s wise to look at history and be reminded that there have been times like this before, often, and that people stood up for truth and justice, and that individuals and communities healed themselves afterwards. I’m glad you managed to get that first draft done! I, too, have faith in the angels. Stay well!
Hey Juliet–Congrats on finishing! As I look back on the crazy year that was, I’m sort of pleased to find a determination that’s alive and well within me. It’s not just one of perseverance to finish. It’s a determination to tell my truth through story. I’ve come to realize that’s the important thing–staying true to myself, my story, my life’s work. The rest of it is sort of ancillary to that vital core of my chosen vocation.
Here’s to moving forward, staying true to ourselves and our stories in the year ahead. Looking forward to your new work.
Juliet, Thank you for this essay, which on a day that I hope will end with Trump’s last impeachment, I wholly appreciate. I’ve been feeling dislocated, isolated especially today. But after reading your column I realize I’m spending the day as I normally do in this covid year,…and the only difference is the national political scene, plus the illness of a friend. It’s my reaction that’s new …but your column has pointed out to me that if I remain focused, on course and disciplined as you have done, this too will pass. Thank you.
Well, the day did end with Trump’s second impeachment … No doubt there will be more rocky times ahead, but I’m hoping we can all stay focused on what is important to us – our work, our family and friends, our community, all the things that keep us grounded and sane. Sending love and creativity to you, Patty!
” The workspace with its clearly defined project, its tight deadline and its isolation from the outside world became something akin to the cave of a hibernating creature in winter, except that instead of sleeping I was immersed in the world of the book, wrestling with the dilemmas of my characters…”
Personally, I can think of no better place to be right now. :)
Kudos, Juliet, on getting the book finished and through the first stage of editing. No small feat. Many of us found the outside world so demanding/infuriating/threatening we couldn’t focus sufficiently on the inner world. I’ll be writing about that in next month’s post. Give yourself the credit you deserve. And best of luck with the book!
Thank you, David! I look forward to reading your next month’s post.
Thanks, Vaughn! Your words of hope and determination are good for the soul.