I started off 2020 completely and utterly exhausted. And because I’m a Type-A tiny business-owning mom of two children under the age of 7, the exhaustion, while expected, is also partly my own doing. I didn’t really need to be out until 2:00 a.m. last Friday singing karaoke … or did I?
In these exhausting early weeks of 2020, I’ve learned and been reminded of these four things:
- The basics of good communication
- The benefits of finding a release
- Why every author needs to find community
- Don’t disregard coincidence
The Basics of Good Communication
I was asked to speak to fourth grade Girl Scouts last week as they work hard on selling those delicious cookies. Here’s what I said about speaking to customers:
- Greet someone
- If you know his/her name, use it
- Maintain eye contact
- Always be courteous
- Get to know your customer by asking questions. (Know not to recommend a purchase of Tagalongs® if the customer has a peanut allergy.)
- Listen to their answers; don’t talk over them
- Always show gratitude
I left those lovely young ladies with a notebook to document their customer’s likes and dislikes, and locations and social media platforms that worked and didn’t for sales.
I also told them not to take rejection personally. We might not always know why someone says no, but that’s their right and there’s a good chance it has nothing to do with us.
The Benefits of Finding a Release
I don’t have a passion, a hobby, anything that I can’t live without. There are lots of activities I like and enjoy, but I can’t say there is much that I love. At some point in my life this really bothered me. But, after some soul-searching and therapy sessions, I let that shit go. What I realized is that my passion is usually towards people. Rather than spending so much time trying to figure out if I want cheese-making to be my thing, I’m going to do what I can to spend more time with those I’m passionate about, and I’m going to do what makes me feel mentally cleansed. Welcome karaoke.
Cluttered brain be gone.
Tense muscles released.
Arched shoulders relaxed.
Stiff legs loose.
Voice…The publicist can’t talk anymore…She’s hoarse…She’s sung too much Pat Benatar.
I’ve unburdened myself for a small window of time.
Does it really help me think better/feel better/be better? Oh gosh, yes.
Do I love Karaoke? Ok, I do. Especially, when I’ve got awesome women by my side.
What’s your release?
Why Every Author Needs to Find Community
I’ve spoken before about the value of social media relationships and doing what we can to support one another’s work.
Last month at a Zibby Owens/Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books event, I met the lovely (NYT bestselling) Eileen Goudge for the first time. Her husband, Sandy Kenyon of WABC-TV was there shooting a segment. She was also there to support her good friend Julie Valerie, whose debut novel, Holly Banks Full of Angst, was on sale.
I said to Eileen, “I’m not sure if you know but years ago you saved my rear when my client dropped out of going to that Seattle book event Josie Brown was putting together. Thank you for doing that. I felt so bad letting down Josie.”
Her eyes lit up. She remembered the event. She asked who my client was—the late great Jackie Collins.
She then went on to say that because of that event she developed a dear friendship with Josie Brown. (Josie is the bestselling author of The Housewife Assassin and Totlandia Series of books.) Each year she, Josie and other writers go on a beach vacation in Northern California.
Hmmmm, I thought, I’ve heard about these writers who beach group before…Oh, that night I had dinner with Meredith Schorr (author of Bridal Girl).
I’m always amazed at how small my world gets.
I called Josie. It had been many years since we last spoke, and I was reminded all over again how great she is.
These Beach Babes, as they call themselves, is a dynamic group of authors and editors all at different stages in their careers and lives who have been meeting for a week-long beach vacation for the last seven years. There’s Eileen, Josie and Meredith, but also Julie, Samantha M. Bailey, Francine LaSala, and Jen Tucker.
Apparently, magical things happen at the beach house.
I believe it.
They’ve gained representation, hit lists, celebrated milestones.
Josie said something that resonated:
“Everything in your life as a writer is like being in an ocean. Sometimes you’re riding the wave; other times your having your faced crushed in the sand. I’d grab a life vest and jump in the ocean for these women. We celebrate each other’s successes. We pull each other up when someone needs it. In our career, in our industry, we need more of that.”
We do need more of that.
If you want to spread love, find a tribe, make a new friend, share an experience, and/or learn something new, here are some bookish groups on Facebook that I enjoy:
Great Thoughts’, Great Readers
I’d love to hear about your writing groups, book clubs, Facebook groups, special writer friendships. Drop a line and a link in the comments.
Don’t Disregard Coincidence
I’m going to speak more about this in my next article with Writer Unboxed. I hope. I’m still trying to make sense of it. But have you ever really considered the coincidences in your personal and professional lives?
About Ann Marie Nieves
Ann-Marie Nieves is the founder of Get Red PR, and an award-winning communicator with experience across a broad range of industries in both the business-to-consumer and business-to-business sectors. She has experience within all communications platforms including public relations, advertising, marketing, copywriting, website development, community relations, and social media.
Anne-Marie, what I came to is that there are no coincidences. They may seem to be that way but when you dig down inside late on – and that may be years later- there was a reason for the meeting. New friend, someone to help, someone to love, someone to learn from, etc.
I learned to cherish these ‘coincidences.’
Hi Irene – yes, exactly. What’s the reason for all of this.
My forthcoming novel exists due to coincidences–though I like to think of it as serendipity.
Sure. Looking forward to hearing more about it, Amy.
By talking about release, your post is a coincidence for me today!
For the longest time my life has been work, family and writing. Before I had started writing and had children I used to do all kinds of things, including crafty things like sewing and scrapbooking. After birthing two children sixteen months apart and choosing to write as a creative outlet, I’ve felt like work, family and writing are about all I can do, and have avoided starting any crafty projects, thinking it would take away from my already limited writing time.
Surprise!
This month we decided as a family that we’d help the boys create Star Wars cosplay costumes for the local comicon here in March. The characters are only known to book-reading/game playing fans, so there are not pre-made patterns out there (like if they wanted to be Kylo Ren or Han Solo.) I get to be the costume designer and the boys and their dad are going to make the props and necessary armor out of EVA foam. The last two weekends I’ve finished most of one boys’ costume. I’ve learned new skills, such as setting sleeves and putting in three invisible zippers, and am already excited about working on the next boys costume. What I’ve noticed most, though? I’m having an easier time writing. Even writing description seems more creative (and I struggle with description.) I’m more motivated to get in there and write, and am even writing more. Combine that with your post today and I now realize that the project is my release, because writing isn’t something I view as something I do just for fun. Not that I don’t have fun doing it, but at this time in my life I don’t view writing as my hobby. I was already thinking about continuing with sewing projects after the Revan and Nihilus costumes are done, and your post definitely is a coincidental sign that it’s a good idea!
I’m so jazzed by this, Lara. Can’t wait to hear about your future projects! If you’re ever in my hood, come to karaoke with me.
Absolutely! ;)
You inspired me today, especially about tribes and Karaoke! Thank you, Ann Marie.
Open invite. If you’re ever in NYC, we’ll duet.
My tribe is WFWA (Women’s Fiction Writing Association). It’s a huge group of 1,000+ but within it, I’ve carved out a special group of close friends, some just online and some in person, who trade pages with me, encourage me when I stumble, and shout hooray when I succeed. I can ask the Facebook group pretty much anything and someone will have the answer or point me in the right direction. I try to do the same. I would not be publishing my first book 13 months from now without them.
Love it, Maggie. Best of luck with your first book!
Ann Marie, you make good sense about communication and connection. I have avoided book clubs & other writers gatherings on purpose. More of a loner writer. Co-authoring did it for me at first. The energy of two minds and the writing process was enough—until the co- author died. This happened twice. Another co-author also died. I started solo writing my own book a few years ago, and “coincidentally“ met a screenwriter through a friend. We became besties and shared writing ideas. That was a few years ago. Our writing energy connection alive & well today. Back to my own book—the last 83 pages in my editor’s hands. After that, the query letter, synopsis, and the business of publishing. I do have a blog “tribe” of dedicated followers. So, I’m not really a loner writer—only on the computer Word doc writing. The closest I get to karaoke singing is in my book. The main character sings and plays guitar in a rock n’ roll/country band. Maybe I should take up the guitar, again. 📚🎶 Christine
Thanks for reading and sharing, Christine. Good luck with the book!
It was a pleasure to be quoted here. Thank you for feeling my bliss! 🙏🏼💖
Thanks to sister Lake Union author Jane Healey for sharing your inspiring post. So many of us ~ including all of us in our Blue Sky Book Chat group ~ hang out at the awesome list of pages you mention, for an abundance of good reasons. The writing community around the world abounds with serendipity, support and positivity as you suggest here. If only we could all get together for Karaoke! 🎶🎶📚📚🎶🎶