In mid-December, with teeth aching from the sweetness of Hallmark movies and a half-crocheted afghan to complete for Christmas, I changed TV channels in search of a different kind of background noise. That’s how I stumbled across a treasure: the Emmy-award-winning biopic, Temple Grandin.
I wasn’t familiar with Grandin and have since found I’m not alone. Grandin, who is on the spectrum, was born at a time when autism was barely acknowledged let alone managed with any competence or understanding. Still, she rose from an asocial child to autism advocate. Also, a Ph.D. professor of animal husbandry whose designs are used in over half of America’s feedlots and slaughterhouses because they are comparatively humane.
How she did this contains lessons for the struggling writer.
Skill Acquisition
As played by the talented Claire Danes, one of Grandin’s most effective strategies was to focus on gaining competence and experience, which in turn inspired confidence.
For example, having the good fortune to be born into a wealthy family, she used resources that weren’t standard practice, such as speech therapy.
In the private school she attended, she worked hard to explain the science behind a visual distortion, gaining both technical knowledge and the respect of her peers when she was the first to solve the puzzle.
When she couldn’t identify the meaning behind facial expressions, her aunt made visual cue cards and Grandin drilled herself mercilessly until she had them memorized.
She absorbed her mother’s social scripts to handle specific situations, such as meeting someone for the first time.
She plied her unique observational skills during time on a cattle farm, gaining deep understanding of animal behavior and farm mechanics.
Notably, as her competence increased, Grandin’s confidence improved and her meltdowns diminished. (You’ll notice the order of acquisition? Skillset leading to confidence, not the other way around.)
Follow Grandin’s Steps to Gain Writerly Competence
- Invest in education: If you have money, one option is to hire the best mind(s) you can afford to help you gain competence. (An editor or book coach, for example.) Or you could attend relevant workshops, especially intensives that provide personalized and timely feedback on your writing rather than abstract concepts to later apply in solitude.
- On a tighter budget? There are still plenty of DIY options: Milk the expertise in a critique group, obviously doing your part to reciprocate. Study your favorite writers and emulate their techniques. Read craft articles online. Borrow books from the library.
- Whatever you do, ply your trade, which means writing. A lot. Then learn to apply editorial principles to your work.
But what if there is plenty of evidence that you possess the skills already, yet anxiety is crippling your efforts? Or what if you’re willing to work hard but anxiety is getting in the way of an active apprenticeship? Here, too, the movie had suggestions.
Manage Expectations
Are you a worrier in general? Highly conscientious? If so, much like being on the spectrum, these tend to be stable traits. To some degree you are probably stuck with the symptoms. So stop waiting to feel okay to write. That day is unlikely to arrive.
Write, but learn how to manage your emotions using some options below.
Construct Your Own Squeeze Box
To perform well, we humans need to keep our flight-or-fight hormones within manageable levels. In Grandin’s case, this was essential as one public meltdown could see her expelled from vital opportunities.
Fortunately, while on her aunt’s farm, she made the serendipitous discovery of a “squeeze box,” later re-dubbed the “hug machine.” It was a device which used gentle compression to restrain and calm unruly cattle. Grandin’s human-sized adaptation was strikingly effective in managing meltdown symptoms, though it was initially mistaken for an erotic device and destroyed by her college. (!) It took a scientific experiment, advocacy from allies, plus an open-hearted roommate before Grandin was permitted to use it again.
Alternatives to a Squeeze Box
- Reduce adrenaline, before or during writing spells, through repetitive use of large muscles, such as running in place. (Consult your physician beforehand.)
- Some people use weighted blankets, likening them to the human equivalent of a thunder shirt.
- Conduct a brief meditation session before writing.
- Invoke the scents of home and comfort with aromatherapy.
- Eat healthfully and avoid caffeine.
Search for Allies and Mentors
To a large degree, Grandin built her success upon the support gained from others. Her mother was her first and most powerful advocate—an educated and determined woman who refused to institutionalize her daughter, even when it cost her her marriage.
Besides family, Grandin found allies in her educators and even strangers. So keep an eye peeled for the people who will support you while calling forth your best possible writerly self. Make a list of their names. And if the list is sparse, challenge yourself: what will you do to lengthen it? Will you permit yourself to show vulnerability and ask for guidance?
Mottoes or Touchstones
Grandin’s science teacher unwittingly gave her a touchstone for bravery when he encouraged her to go to college. “Think of it as a door—a door that’s going to open onto a whole new world for you, and all you need to do is decide to go through it.”
When she faced a daunting threshold, Grandin got into the habit of revisiting this imagery.
You, too, can settle on a motto, word or metaphor associated with bravery. (You might recall that I use “Try Sh*t,” which the ToolMaster crafted in playfully scrolled letters that I’ve hung over my office door.)
Want something more private? Use a cue card or put it in your bullet journal.
Take it to Pictures
Grandin processes the world in images, which has the advantage of accessing the preverbal, reptilian part of the brain. Supposedly this leads to faster, more intuitive, and more creative solutions.
Follow in her footsteps by:
- Making a list of times you have been brave before. (Ideally, make it specific to writing, such as the time you entered a contest, gave your first reading, agreed to a group project, or wrote the scary story that filled you with pride despite its lackluster reception.)
- Turn your list into a photo collage and make it portable by putting it on your phone.
- Alternatively, craft a short movie, complete with soundtrack.
- Review the above immediately before a writing session.
Last but not least…
Take Refuge in Wonder, Playfulness, and Meaning
Intrinsic joy and fascination—these were two of Grandin’s superpowers, enabling her to push through a vast number of obstacles. She also tapped into an enduring mission to reduce animal suffering.
You can emulate her by:
- Cultivating an exogenous sense of play. For example, I know writers who wear tiaras and feather boas when they anticipate an intimidating writing session.
- Even better, tap into the excitement you feel about the project itself: Feel a secret thrill over a scene that will blow everyone’s mind; a heartfelt monologue that will make an important point about the meaning of life; a stunning metaphor you can’t wait to play with.
What effective tricks or techniques do you have in your squeeze box? Alternatively, is there any one thing in this post that you’d like to try?
About Jan O'Hara
A former family physician and academic, Jan O'Hara (she/her) left the world of medicine behind to follow her dreams of becoming a writer. She writes love stories that zoom from wackadoodle to heartfelt in six seconds flat: (Opposite of Frozen; Cold and Hottie; Desperate Times, Desperate Pleasures). She also contributed to Author in Progress, a Writer's Digest Book edited by Therese Walsh.
Love this!
It’s a marvelous breakdown of lessons, from in-the-trenches to visionary. “Skillset leading to competence, not the other way around,” writer’s sources, hug boxes, and so many more… This one is going straight to my Best Tips feed. And with Claire Danes in the movie, I’ll be looking for that too.
It even follows the classic college rule: “If at all possible, involve a cow.” :)
Ken, I’m not familiar with the cow-college rule, but it sounds charming! Would go over well here, too, in Alberta. Goodness knows we have plenty of the animals.
Hope you enjoy the movie. And I’m delighted you found something of use.
Calm down.
For me, it’s the writing itself which is calming, but I do have an advantage: twenty books under my belt. Which kind of proves the point about skill acquisition.
My version of your Try Sh*t is S-T-R-E-T-C-H. Push over a boundary. That’s because I love to learn, another of your solid suggestions. Playing it safe is dull.
When I feel anxiety at my writing desk, I pick up a beach stone from a dish I keep there. I hold the stone, hear the waves and see the distant horizon. In thirty seconds I’m back in balance.
Writing seems to many like a mountain to climb, but really it’s a hike over varied terrain. And what is a hike except steps, one, then another? And how hard is that? Not very.
Solid points, Benjamin. And 20 books? Yes, I can imagine that you’d have learned how to conquer anxiety with that kind of backlist under your belt.
I like your stone remedy and will look for something similar. A tactile reminder of calm sounds like a good addition to my toolkit.
Love this Jan! I recently went through one of those moments of despair about my writing. I went searching for published authored who are open about their struggles. It reminds me I’m in good company as a writer and not the only one with hard moments during the process.
Absolutely, Rebecca! Each time we set the goalposts farther, it’s natural to become anxious. And sometimes the most famous writers are the ones who can feel like the most they have to lose if they get it wrong. It’s a normal, natural struggle.
“Intrinsic joy and fascination”! Oh, these are truly magical things, Jan. When I get paralyzed by fear or gripped with a sense of ‘what am I doing’??, I try to go to these things. Play is medicine, as is laughter, and they remind me not to take myself too seriously. I’m writing an essay about the life-lessons I’ve been learning from my sheep, Jean D’Arc. These animals are gurus. Also, what’s a thunder jacket??I think I must have one, whatever it is. Thank you for insights and smiles today!
Oops, Susan, I should have called it a thundershirt. They are weighted vests for animals, often used during storms for anxious dogs. Their use has since expanded. https://www.thundershirt.com/
“Jean D’Arc”? I love it! That essay sounds wonderful.
And yes to play. That’s one thing that we adults can adopt from youth and animals.
Thanks for sharing this, Jan. It’s a fascinating story and I’ll look for the movie. And I love your idea of keeping a photo collage/vision board on your phone as a reminder to be brave. I’m going to try that for the New Year!
Let me know how it goes, Liz. And thank you so much for your keen eye.
Jan, the Temple Grandin movie is good; there are also a number of short films of her on YouTube that are worth the look. I’ve read some excerpts from her Thinking in Pictures autobiography as well—she is a fascinating person.
I’ve tried a lot of the shit you recommend to good effect (and admire your Tool Master’s wise counsel), though avoiding caffeine would prompt hospitalization. I do look fetching in a feather boa though. Thanks for the good stuff!
Tom, I have a bit of a crush on her, to be honest, and intend to go exploring. Thanks for the suggestions.
And, see, I’ve never tried a boa. What color would go with my skin tone?
Well, duh, fuchsia. [Note to self: is fashion column viable?]
Thanks, Jan. Temple Grandin can be a metaphor for what works well in this world when you have love and support and you are fiercely dedicated. She is amazing. I’ve followed her in the news, but thanks for referencing the film.
Beth, I saw a clip of Danes speaking about this role as one of her favorites–such was her admiration for Grandin. Do check out the film; it’s very well done.
Thank you for this, Jan. Temple Grandin is a great interview, and I love the takeaways for writing–and life. I plan to share it with one of my children who’s rather stuck right now. I appreciate the skillset competence leads to confidence.
I’d be delighted if it was of some use, Natalie.
Oo, I love that idea of a board displaying images of one’s past bravery. I could do with a perseverance board, too.
My husband is my ‘hug machine’ when I feel stressed – and unlike Grandin’s he also proofreads, bakes bread and reads aloud, among other features. Note to self: don’t leave home without one :-)
Deborah, by all means keep the husband! Loan him out to others, too, on occasion.
If you’re sharing down the road, I’d love to see your perseverance/bravery board.