At Chez O’Hara, we’re about to enter a new phase of life. My husband is retiring, leaving his workplace of thirty-five years. Our youngest is about to graduate and will probably receive a job offer in another town, making us empty-nesters. Even if we weren’t halfway through 2019, it would be a natural time to take stock of the year’s goals and rejig them, ensuring room for new adventures.
Perhaps you’d like to join me.
In the past, goal-setting has mostly consisted of me getting excited about all the things I would add to my life in a never-ending quest to do more things with greater efficiency. There’s still part of me that wants to think this way, but both personal experience and science say those are delusional expectations.
The new game in town is what can be banished without sacrifice in order to clear space for true priorities. In other words, mindful curation.
What Must Be Kept
Because of the enormous time and energy that deep goals take and the effort required to “channel switch,” the evidence suggests humans do best when they focus on no more than 2-3 outcome goals at a time. (An outcome goal being the endgame you desire, like completing a novel or running a marathon or having a close, loving relationship with your immediate family.)
Once clear on those, it’s suggested that we set no more than 1-3 daily process goals within each outcome goal. These are tasks that, if routinely accomplished, will get you to the outcome you desire.
For example, let’s say your desired outcome goal is to achieve a normal BMI via healthy means by year’s end. (Given where you are at present, if that isn’t a realistic objective, set an intermediate one. It’s crucial to articulate an exciting outcome that is also achievable!) Your daily process goals might be something like: eat a salad; get in 6,000-10,000 steps; prepare your meals at home; drink a glass of water in the morning, etc.
Or, since this is a website devoted to the craft and business of fiction, let’s say your desired outcome goal is to write a novel this year and have it reach an intended audience, whether that consists of agents, editors, or actual readers. Your daily process goals might include the plan to: write one page, spend 15 minutes building your platform, query 1 agent, or spend 15 minutes in professional development.
Do you have your outcome and process goals in place?
Time to Mindfully Prune Everything Else
This step is particularly important if, like me, you tend to be on the open end of the personality spectrum. i.e. You love to learn and frequently come across information that will help in your writing career. Before you know it, you’ve signed up for X newsletter, joined Y Facebook group, or purchased the Z course.
If you’re truly like me, you’ve done all three. This week. *sad trombone*
It’s also crazily important if you’re on the conscientious end of the personality spectrum, meaning that once a commitment is in your life, you have a hard time skimping on it or letting it go altogether. (For this reason, hyperconscientious people are wise to build in a cooling-off period before taking on new commitments.)
While pruning, one crucial thing I’m doing differently?
Instead of asking what must go, ask what must stay.
Decision fatigue is real. The modern world creates innumerable distractions. When you write, the need to protect your intellectual capital—a clear, creative mind—is a genuine struggle.
For these reasons, Cal Newport, a Georgetown computer scientist with an interest in effective work habits, has a process for rebooting your commitment to social media. It’s worthwhile to read about, if only to see how you can apply the model to everything else in your life. (I’d also recommend this specific podcast with Cal Newport and Rich Roll, which you can listen to while getting in your daily step count.)
Essentially, the idea is to zero out your optional commitments for a significant period, like 30 days. Give yourself a taste of freedom. Then add back in only what is necessary or, to borrow a phrase from Marie Kondo, what “sparks joy.”
Imagine a world where you apply this process to your:
- Inbox, full of newsletter subscriptions you resent or delete unread
- Physical TBR pile, which looks at you reproachfully
- E-reader, full of free or deeply discounted books you’ll never read
- Social media accounts, some of which consume far too much energy and time for the benefits provided
- Podcast subscriptions
- YouTube channels
- Online forums or groups
You get the idea.
In the past few months, starting at zero and building up has been an eye-opener for me. It’s amazing how much mental clutter I’ve accumulated by default, good intentions, and experimentation. I’m amazed at how much better I feel with a few, consistent changes.
Specifically, I began by setting aside time on the weekend to look at the subscriptions that enter my inbox. Remember, despite me having volunteered to receive them, my assumption was that I would cancel them unless I could make a convincing case for retention.
Some were easy to discard the first time around, and I felt the benefits immediately. There was less of an ugh! feeling each time I checked my dwindling inbox and I could see the potential to gain tranquility.
Others had to stay. They were simply too fun or useful.
The final category brought more ambiguity. They were rather like a nice acquaintance who took our friendship more seriously than I did, and who had taken to dropping in uninvited. Initially, I coped by sticking them in my Feedly subscription, which is silly honestly, since I haven’t opened it in over a year. But it felt like an intermediate step borne of caution. Now I just unsubscribe, promising myself I can always reverse course. Thus far, though, that has yet to happen.
Nowadays, each time I open my inbox, I get a jolt of appreciation for its increasing manageability. I feel freshly inspired as I set my sights on curating other items on the list above.
And I’m hopeful that with my life partner at home, I’ll have made space for the important things in this upcoming new stage of life.
If not, I know the process. Back to the pruning stage I will go.
What about you, Unboxeders? Does this approach hold appeal? If there was one commitment you could let go of right now that would bring you more time to focus on your writing goals, what would that be? What’s stopping you from stopping?
About Jan O'Hara
A former family physician and academic, Jan O'Hara left the world of medicine behind to follow her dreams of becoming a writer. She writes love stories that zoom from wackadoodle to heartfelt in six seconds flat: (Opposite of Frozen; Cold and Hottie; Desperate Times, Desperate Pleasures). She also contributed to Author in Progress, a Writer's Digest Book edited by Therese Walsh.
Last night I decided to prune social media, because it really does suck up time and emotional energy.
Unfortunately most other things in my life that take up time can’t be “zeroed.” All of the things I wish I could prune are inescapable, like working my day job. The things I could prune bring me joy, and I’d be unhappy without them: my hobbies, my time with my husband, having a clean and pretty house.
I think process goals are great and can reduce daily stress. For my house projects, I break each one down into manageable tasks in a spreadsheet with target dates. Each day I simply do some tasks with target dates in the near future. Then instead of wasting my head space on worries about how BIG these projects are, I feel, “Ah, I’m making progress. It will be done by this date.”
For my WIP, I broke it down into chapters in a similar spreadsheet, but I think I’ll try refining even further with daily or weekly goals. Thanks for the food for thought!
I understand, T.K. There are some places that have already been pared to the bone. Perhaps the mindset will help in not taking on unhelpful things going forward.
The thing I like about process goals is that you get credit for effort, even if you don’t make as much progress as you want. Gotta celebrate those wins as they arrive, right?
I love this, Jan. I started this process in January when I began my bullet journal, but you’ve reminded me that the half-year mark is a good point to reassess and see which goals are working for me, which aren’t, and what self-created obstacles are standing in the way of my reaching them. Eliminating everything that isn’t adding value helps me see what is standing in the way.
(I listened to the podcast this morning and found it very interesting, btw.)
I love hearing two smart people talk about smart applications. I’m glad you enjoyed the podcast, Liz.
I’ve been using a bullet-journal-like process for years and find it very helpful. Still have to establish this week’s goals but I’ll get to that today.
This is great and I too love Cal Newport’s wisdom. Also, I like that you use the term prune, which gives me an idea for a different kind of article. I’m a horticulturalist! 😁 Thanks for the informative post!
My pleasure. And I’m intrigued, Karen. If you get a chance, drop a link in the comments later.
This is so helpful: “Instead of asking what must go, ask what must stay.” Simple, but wise, thank you! I definitely tend toward a love of discovering All The Things and then getting overwhelmed…and I’ve been feeling fairly overwhelmed of late. Goodness knows, I’ve applied that approach to clearing out a dresser drawer–why not try it with some other aspect of my life?
Certainly I’m feeling that drain on the intellectual/creative capital, particularly now when I’m in a predrafting stage on a project: the proto-WIP is interesting and new and rather easily drowned out, so I can see where a bit of judicious “zeroing” could really help.
In my case, the low-hanging fruit is definitely reading the news (with a chaser of social media). There are other things to cut back, but I know myself, and tackling *physical* clutter will also help my mental bandwidth. I’ll gain more by reducing the news consumption right this minute. But I hadn’t thought about zeroing out that task, versus just trying to cut back (which seems to backfire). That seems the place to start…that and the email subscriptions…
Good luck with your own pruning and upcoming transitions!
I’m glad you found it useful, Alisha! Here’s hoping you’re able to clear more mental space for the WIP.
Jan, we are at similar stages in our life–my younger child will be going off to school this fall, along with the older one, and he’s only home a couple of months out of the year now. I suppose I can no longer claim them as the excuse for not getting my stuff done :) Thank goodness for the demanding cats.
I really like the idea of keeping the essentials and adding back other commitments more mindfully. It’s a good time for it. Thanks too for the link to Cal Newport’s article. It makes sense and I’ve ordered his book on Digital Minimalism.
Here’s to exciting new life changes, Vijaya. I hope you enjoy Newport’s book. I appreciate his clarity of thinking.
Great column, Jan. I’m interested to explore the links…must find time. ; )
You raise good points. I took a social media break for a week and it was a wonderful mental declutter.
A week sounds lovely, Sheri. I’d like to give a month a whirl, myself, though that hasn’t been possible in recent times.
And yes, I appreciate the irony of suggesting people to divert more time and energy to checking out the Newport links. Feel free to decline the invitation.
It makes sense to me, Jan. I try to take a break from all screen related activity every Saturday. It helps me feel lighter and gives me time to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me–like a breath of fresh air.
Leanne, a screen-time Sabbath, in effect, is a fantastic idea. I’ve been toying with implementing something similar myself, even after I have unsubscribed and unenrolled from as much as I can.
Hi Jan, great post! I love the idea of limiting the number of outcome goals and process goals. I tend to have too many projects going on at once, and whenever I stir one pot, another gets cold.
Another issue for me, I usually put my own writing at the bottom of my priorities list. Things for other people take precedence in my mind, and I’m reluctant to prune those obligations. No one is waiting for my next book, so it’s easy to feel like it’s not important. The struggle is constant.
I understand, John. I’m both an overcommitter and underdeveloper, and I do far better with external deadlines.
I do think it’s easier to feel a sense of momentum with mindful curation. Easier to make visible progress and want to press on.
I hope you do. Your books are sweet and well received, I’m sure.
Ditto, John. Ditto.
Great post/advice, Jan, and congrats on this new, pleasantly more minimal phase of your life! May it bear you many fruits, creatively speaking. :)
Thank you, Kristan! So far so good :-)
Coincidentally, I’m in the middle of a productivity experiment, or rather a series of experiments, trying out different methods and seeing what works for me.
Last week’s method was doing a little each day in each of the seven crucial areas for me: housework, yard work, church work, handwork, writing, exercise and communication. On the one hand, I got a lot done. On the other hand, I got tuckered out.
Living in a limited-energy household necessitates gauging what’s really essential and what isn’t, but being prone to conscientiousness and wildly ambitious projects (bad combination) works against me.
The idea of taking a week off social media (heck, even the internet) sounds very refreshing. I might even try it out for a week as part of the Grand Productivity Experiment!
Sounds exciting, Deborah! If you keep after it, I have no doubt you’ll find out what works best in your particular circumstances.
PS: LOVE that op-ed you shared about why we should all quit social media. To be fair, I think social media has its benefits, but I think the piece makes a lot of good arguments that need to be considered and weighed as balance.
He’s a thoughtful man. I enjoy his skepticism and work ethic.