Ah Christmas. It’s just over two weeks away. Plenty of time to make your lists and check them twice, right?
At various stages of Kid-dom, my Christmas list would read something like this:
Real Candy, with Chocolate—not that hard stuff, and please no fruit (Santa, fruit is not nature’s candy—you ain’t foolin’ nobody)
Baby Doll with a Stroller (I know, Santa, you gave me one last year but my bratty brothers threw a rock through the stroller and shaved all the hair off baby doll)
Barbie (Huh, and I know the difference between Midge or Marge or some other knockoff)
Bike (hey, Santa, a new one would be nice, but used is fine, too, since I know they are expensive)
Pack of Go Fish Playing Cards
Parcheesi
Checkers
Horse—not a stuffed animal but a Real Horse—a black stallion that rears up and paws the air
Books—Black Beauty, Black Stallion, The Incredible Journey, Call of the Wild, or any book about dogs or horses or wolves
A pair of black and a pair of white shiny vinyl knee-high boots
Blacklight and Poster
And with the exception of the horse (dang), I received those gifts in one form or another.
All of those gifts are tangible. One can purchase the item, wrap it up, and put it under the tree. Well, except for the horse. And though I knew the probability of having a horse was Probably Never, that didn’t stop me from racing to the window every Christmas and checking to see if my horse was tied up to the sweet gum tree in our front yard, pawing the air and shaking its mane and looking me right in my eyes with a gaze that said “No one can ride me but you…!” Yeah. Hope springs and all that. Though magical, a horse is still a tangible gift, albeit an unrealistic one (at least unrealistic for me; my best friend did receive a horse for Christmas, siiiiigh).
At various times in my life we were pretty danged poor, so some of my listed items weren’t easy to come by—as a matter of fact, we kids didn’t really make lists. If we were asked, we’d state our wishes. Maybe some years we’d write a few things down. The lists were never long.
SPOILER ALERT! Cover the kiddies’ eyes! (I’ll place the “read more” tab here; I mean, just in case, y’all.)
My father told us there was no Santy very early on. By time I was about 4 years old, Santy magic did not come to our house ever again. We knew that those presents under the tree were bought by my mom (Dad, rest in peace, well, Dad just never thought about buying presents for us). We understood on some level that the money for presents came from cash that would normally go to food and housing and clothing. That didn’t stop us from wanting! That’s what Christmas begets: Wanting! But our wanting was tempered by not expecting too much.
Somehow, though, my mom always found a way to have presents under the tree for us. And the magical wonderful thing about that is this: whether we had asked for a certain item or knew it was best not to ask because times were hard, it didn’t matter, because once we dived under the tree and began unwrapping, we thought how everything we received was just what we wanted no matter what our list might have been, spoken, written, or dreamt—we were happy, even with a sack of fruit and hard danged ol’ candy.
Fast forward to my much Older-dom, the post-published author phase of my life, and the list would read something like this:
New York Times Best-Seller
Win a Literary Award
Number 1 (again please!) on Kindle
People to love me and love my books and think I am AWESOME!
Yeah, yeah: Love and peace and health and all that jazz, etc., etc., etc.
Write a book that goes viral
Oprah saying “and a Magendie book for YOU, and a Magendie book for YOU, and a Magendie book for YOUUUUUUUUU!”
Book to movie
Do you see the difference in those two lists? Other than the obvious, of course. In the second list, the items aren’t tangible; one can’t purchase them; someone can’t place these things under the tree where I’ll rip them open, happy-shiny paper flying willy-nilly, the givers grinning their fool heads off because they’ve made another person feel joyful. The gift wishes in the second list are Hah-Uge, and for all but a few, could be almost unattainable. With a list like that, one could be forever unhappy at Christmas, forever feeling slighted, forever just a little bit sad. One could sit there among the twinkly lights feeling sorry for one’s self while all the others are ripping open their tangible packages with glee.
I’ve been altering my List. And by altering that list, I’ve felt something lighten in me. I’ve felt a peace come over me. I’ve felt my Christmas Spirit more spirity. My list is one that would make someone else happy in the giving. One that my friends or family could happily and sneakily purchase, wrap up, and place under the tree, anticipating my reaction.
For when year after year I say, “Oh, all I want is (above list),” I take away something magical and wonderful from Christmas. I take away someone else’s joy of giving. I take away the Greedy Anticipation of Gift-Receiving.
But mostly, I take away my own personal joy 365 days a year. So, on my list this year is: Stuff. Tangible, touchable, Stuff. Stuff that I may use once and never again, or Stuff that I use until it is no longer usable, or Stuff that I devour in all its chocolaty goodness. Stuff, Stuff, Tangible Stuff!
What about you? What is on your Christmas List this year? And is it similar to my second list? And if so, want to join me in hoping for something tangible, something wrap-able, something we can tear into on Christmas morning with joy and abandon? Yeah! Whoohooo!
Well Folks, as I finish this up, I await and make preparations for what comes in the form of Winter Storm Diego. Western North Carolina, where I live not far from Asheville, has a Snow Target on its back. If all the dire warnings come to fruition, I could be right buried in snow here in my lil Log House. I may lose power, and if I do, I can only thank you in advance for the hundreds of comments I am sure to receive on my brilliant musings (okay, I am laughing as I type that! haw!). Wish me luck!
About Kathryn Magendie
TENDER GRACES, Magendie's first novel, was an Amazon Kindle Number 1 best-seller. As well as her novelist life, she’s a freelance editor, personal trainer, and former Publishing Editor of The Rose & Thorn. Her short stories, essays, poetry, and photography have been published in print and online publications. Her novels are available in print and ebook. Along with her freelance editing, she's website editor for Edge of Arlington Saw & Tool. She lives in the Smoky Mountains in a little log house in the Cove at Killian Knob in Maggie Valley, Western North Carolina with her wonky-toothed little dog named lil Bear. Sometimes there is vodka in the freezer. Critters love her. Some or all of this is likely true.
I guess I’m good with “Stuff”, and I do see your point about setting ourselves up with the (likely) unattainable. I just don’t want anymore store-bought stuff. Particularly the random stuff that is definitely of the “oh, we need something for Vaughn–grab that ‘Frodo Lives’ tee-shirt” … (Wait, I’d actually like that one) … “I mean, that nice stationary set.” (That’s more like it – everyone who knows me well knows my handwriting is illegible.)
I’m good with well-wishes. And hugs. Or, if you feel compelled to make it Stuff, make the Stuff. Create, and share your creativity with me. Even one of those oranges with the cloves stuck in it that you leave laying around till it looks like a mummified skull. Or something even easier. A meme in an email works.
I hate to say use a cliche that my parents relentlessly clubbed us with, but it really is the thought that counts. These days, thoughtfulness and being thought of are truly my favorite gifts, for Christmas or just any ole’ time.
Wishing you the very best kind of stuff and non-stuff, Kat. You know: the thoughtful kind.
Yup – ! Actually, I do not want any more “stuff” – I live pretty simply and rid myself of lots of stuff. But! Anyone who knows me knows I love rocks and feathers and natural things :)
However, there’s still nothing like ripping open a package and seeing that prize inside where someone give it, and you, a thought. :D
Still waiting on Diego’s full impact!
Can’t help lovin’ that post, Kathryn. Thanks.
This year I want for Christmas….oddly enough, a gift that only I can give myself: the persistence to Finish My Book in 2019. Is that too much to ask? At times My Book resembles that Black Horse, always yearned for but never pawing the air in my front yard.
Intangible! *laughing*
But I hear you …. hard to give up those intangibles!
Thank you! Since I was 12 and the Christmas magic first failed to materialize, I’ve been in the eternal struggle of lowering expectations to avoid disappointment. You precisely nailed that balancing act of aspiration vs reality. How can we not hope and wish for Oprah Top Ten? (Ten books are ten chances, right?!) How beautifully you propose we handle it. Live in the Joy of what we have, what we receive, what we accomplish. Adjust my list, you betcha. Best Gift Ever.
Thank you!
I’m feeling joy right now – a fire going, Diego not quite slamming us, my house warm, cookies baked and turned out delicious.
Enjoy!
I’ve never wanted fame for me or my books. It’s been enough to write and to entertain. My books have won awards on their own whilst I pursued the family life.
Maybe its an age thing. As I experienced the loss of my parents and now friends, there is nothing so important as plain old happiness with no expectation of anything. Christmas this year will be spent with my 4 month old grandson and my own children and husband. I wouldn’t ask for more because the above is a blessing in its own right.
I’ll be spending time with my grand-daughter, son, and DIL, and that is an intangible I’ll be happy for :)
I don’t get this anti-stuff talk. You must be thinking of black satin ties embossed with the unmistakable likeness of Lady Gaga, or a lifetime supply of peanut brittle. Don’t forget: stuff also includes items from Bordeaux, and the Rhone valley, not to mention Scotland, Ireland, and Kentucky. Seewhatimean?
I sees what’s you means!
The Spirits of Christmas….
*Cheers!* :D
I’m trying to strike a balance of tangible and intangible this year. I do like getting “stuff” but I’ve opted for things I can consume like treats or holiday theme food. I actually like fruitcake, but I know I’m in the minority (haha). Ever since I can remember, people have given me books for Christmas, and that’s one tangible I won’t give up. My intangible desires this year are peace, time with family, and to have a sense of place. Let the Yuletide Festivities begin!
I like fruitcake too! Yes! Another Fruitcaker – we should form a club! It has to be GOOD fruitcake though – with lots of pecans -mmmmmmm
But honestly, I’d probably eat the nasty fruitcake too and be fine *laugh*
To have a “sense of place” – beautiful -yes.
About four years ago, I started to deemphasize (not eliminate but reduce) gifts (stuff) and focus on creating memories. How many times have we been asked or thought about our most memorable Christmas? As time passes, the memories fade. My goal was to create at least one or two for my now adult children that they will never forget. Obviously, the grander the memory, the harder it is the next year. But it’s fun to try to create new memories for my kids especially as my husband and I get older. And I’ve learned that some memories are more precious to some than to others…that’s their load to tote. My memories center on those that cherish the time and the joy that we’ve created by being together doing something different each year. Our new tradition is doing and being simultaneously. Happy Holidays to all and stay safe and warm.
I love watching my son make memories and traditions for he, my DIL, and my granddaughter. Makes my heart happy that he loves Christmas as much as I did, or do, or will.
A lovely comment.
I used to love finding just the right gift for friends and family, something unexpected, something they’d never have gotten for themselves but would love.
However, these days we all have too much, so now I sometimes give books or consumables, but mostly it’s gifts in the person’s name to nonprofits they support.
How lovely, Yes! I love doing that—one year I sent my mom a tree from this place in honor of my brother who passed away much too soon. They sent her a little tree but they also planted a tree in David’s name—I can’t remember if that’s exactly right, but it was a lovely thing and I loved doing it.
Like you, Kat, my childhood wish list always included a horse and horse books, but those I had to get from the library. We were also a poor family, so gifts were limited, but I always loved the handmade gifts from my mother and father.
My wish list this year includes some tangibles such as some awesome fur-lined gloves, really good body lotions and a portable CD player. I don’t need any other stuff. My favorite part of the holidays is getting together with family, playing the silly White Elephant gift game where we get to steal presents, and having great meals.
The library, too, was where I found most all of my books, but every so often I would get them for Christmas and I still have a Black Beauty from my child hood :)
I hope you get those tangibles on your list! Are you listening Santa?
Books!! Books to read on the sofa near the Christmas tree! :-) Christmas without a new book is no real Christmas for me.
This was a wonderful rhyme comment! Love that!