Somewhere around six years ago, I had a story idea pop into my head. As most writers will tell you, that’s not exactly an unusual occurrence. Story ideas fly into (and often out of) my mind like flights landing at Kennedy Airport. But this idea felt . . . special. It had that x-factor sparkle that demanded, Write me! Write me now! So I did. And the book just . . . totally. did. not. work. I tried it in first person, I tried it in third person with multiple narrators. I tried a myriad configurations of the plot, and all told probably re-wrote the story ten times. I finally hammered out a semi-workable draft that I was semi-happy with, and at least worked better than anything else that had gone before.
Now, don’t get me wrong, within that draft were elements that I really liked. I loved my two main characters. There were scenes that made (and still make) me smile. Even my agent liked it, so at least I knew I wasn’t entirely fooling myself that there was something there. But it was the start of what I intended to be a series, and when I tried to move on to write book #2, again, it just. did. not. work. The foundation I’d slogged through to build in book #1 just became a pure slog when I tried to advance into a continuation of the story. 4 years ago, almost to this day, actually, I finally quit. Closed the file, opened up a new one, and started an entirely different book in what turned out to be an 11 book series (that’s not published under this pen name). Suffice it to say, I had absolutely zero regrets about quitting on what I now thought of as my Impossible Book Idea.
And yet . . . there was something about that idea, those characters and their world that refused to entirely let me go. After writing my 11 book series, I jumped into working on a collaborative series with my dad, and that one (actually published under this pen name) has been equally great. But in the down time between drafts on those books, I suddenly had an idea of how I could resurrect the Impossible Book Idea and change things up so that it would (maybe) work. I tried. It did work . . . better, anyway. I got a draft of a new book 1 written that I was pretty happy with. Then it came time to start on book #2, and I felt like I was in an author’s version of Groundhog Day, because it was the exact same deal as with the first go-round of The Impossible Book. Book 1: characters and scenes that made me smile. Book 2: utter slog.
I quit. Again! This time, I was pretty sure I wasn’t ever going to go back. Writing is my vocation, my passion, my dream job . . . but it’s also a business and the way I support my family, and there’s only so much precious time I’m willing to devote to an idea that never seems to go anywhere. I still loved my two main characters and elements of their story. But at this point, I’d made peace with the fact that it just wasn’t a story I was going to ever tell. I walked away, started on a new series. And then suddenly, like lightening, an inspiration for The Impossible Book Idea hit me.
Now, at this point, I was wary. I’d seen this movie before. Been there done that, gotten the I Quit on the Impossible Book t-shirt. I pretty much resisted even thinking about opening the Impossible Book file with everything I had. But it just wouldn’t let me go. It got louder and louder and louder in my mind until I literally had no choice but to give this new incarnation a try. And you know what? The story is working. Really working this time, not just reluctantly allowing itself to be dragged and squashed and hammered into semi-workable form. It’s real, it’s solid in a way that it’s never been before. I’ve changed the time period completely, I’ve changed huge swaths of my main characters’ backstories, and I’ve cut 90% of the secondary characters and entirely overhauled the plot.
So is it even still the Impossible Book Idea? Not really. Maybe. Sort of. It’s nothing like the idea that first popped into my head 6 years ago, that’s for sure. And yet my main characters at heart– who they really are, apart from their backstories– is much the same. Because when it came right down to it, that was always the element that was refusing to let me go: the core of who those two main characters were, and their journey towards each other.
I tell this story for two reasons: first, to let you know that if you have a story idea that just. will. not. work. . . it’s okay to walk away. It’s okay to close the file in mid-draft and let yourself start something new. It’s okay to never come back. But it’s also okay to hold out a little bit of hope even in the midst of walking away, because if it’s truly a story that you’re meant to tell, then it won’t let you go. One day, when you least expect it, The Impossible Book may suddenly turn possible after all.
What about you? Have you struggled with an impossible book? Have you had a story idea that just refused to let you go?
About Anna Elliott
Anna Elliott is an author of historical fiction and fantasy. Her first series, the Twilight of Avalon trilogy, is a retelling of the Trystan and Isolde legend. She wrote her second series, the Pride and Prejudice Chronicles, chiefly to satisfy her own curiosity about what might have happened to Elizabeth Bennet, Mr. Darcy, and all the other wonderful cast of characters after the official end of Jane Austen's classic work. She enjoys stories about strong women, and loves exploring the multitude of ways women can find their unique strengths. Anna lives in the Washington DC area with her husband and three children.
Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt says
January 4, 2018 at 11:00 amBest of luck with the current incarnation of The Impossible Book.
I don’t have it quite the way you do, but I do have that first novel I finished in the back of my head, and I will, someday, go back and try the ideas that keep coming back about how to make a completed story much more real and also more salable. I loved those characters – the whole bunch – and think I know how to bring it up to snuff.
It’s just that as I was trying to sell that first novel (it got some nice rejections), and write the next in its series, the universe dropped a gift in my lap, a fully-formed story which was far beyond my capabilities at the turn of the century. I like to say it was ‘vouchsafed’ to me, because it came complete, beginning to end, in 2000 – but it took me until 2015 to learn to write well enough to publish the first part of the story, and it will take me at least another year to publish the middle part, and a couple of years after that to finish it up!
Talk about stories that won’t let you go.
It must be vastly satisfying to finally have your book idea work. Maybe it wasn’t so much impossible as not yet grown up.
Anna says
January 4, 2018 at 1:09 pmI love those gifts from the universe! Even though the stories we have to wait patiently for– and as you say, learn how to write better so that we can tell– are so worth it, too!
Paula Cappa says
January 4, 2018 at 11:22 amAnna, I’ve had similar struggles too. I love your WU posts because you often strike a note! Some stories seem to have their own energies that pop up and then fade. I think some of it might have to do with how ready we are emotionally or psychologically to complete the story. I have a novel ‘brewing’ for a year now and can only write snips at the moment. But in December a short story came to me out of nowhere (flash fiction, literally) and I wrote it in one week’s time. It was a Christmas ghost story, so I posted it on my blog to share the festivities with my readers. And then that story got me motivated to dig deeper into the novel. And just as I started to write again in the novel, another short story is pulling me away. So, I guess it’s best to go with the flow. Snowing here in the northeast and a great time to snuggle in and write.
Anna says
January 4, 2018 at 1:11 pmAw, thanks, Paula, glad if anything I say connects! I think you’re exactly right that we have to wait until we’re emotionally and psychologically ready– and sometimes we get a story idea that we’re just not quite ready to tell. It’s snowing here, too, so as you say, write on! :-)
Keith Cronin says
January 4, 2018 at 12:58 pmGreat topic, Anna!
My debut novel came from an idea that kept coming back to me, which I once tried to weave into a short story, then shelved when I realized I had no idea where the story was going.
A year or so later, I happened to re-read the aborted short story, and realized that I really liked both the premise and the voice. The latter is what pushed me over the edge. I wasn’t finding a voice I liked for anything else I was working on, so I committed to exploring both this premise and voice, and seeing where they took me.
So that’s one idea that I’m SO glad didn’t let me go!
Anna says
January 4, 2018 at 1:13 pmGreat story about how your debut novel came to be. Sometimes the inspiration we’re looking for is actually right in front of us all along! Voice is usually what keeps drawing me back to an idea, too.
Michael Sussman says
January 5, 2018 at 12:43 amExcellent post, Anna!
Eight years ago, the word “incognolio” popped into my mind and I couldn’t shake it loose. For four years, without success, I tried to start a story to go with this title. Then one day I decided to just write with no idea what the story was about, other than a protagonist/author who starts a novel with only a title in mind.
I wrote the first draft as stream-of-consciousness, each chapter a single sentence, without paragraph breaks, censoring nothing. Over the course of several years, with the help of three freelance editors, I reworked the material into a much more coherent and accessible form, although I think it retains much of the intensity and outlandishness of the original draft.
The result is a novel that’s both funny and disturbing, delving into themes and situations that I could never have predicted. I published INCOGNOLIO last August.
Haley says
January 7, 2018 at 3:37 amI’ve had one of those ideas for years now. I put it away for a year or more each time, but eventually, I come back to it. Right now I’m in a period where I haven’t been working on it for more than a year. I really do hope that someday I’m able to make it work.