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The Author’s Guide to Twitter: 280-characters Edition

Warning: Hacks for Hacks tips may have harmful side effects on your writing career, and should not be used by minors, adults, writers, poets, scribes, scriveners, journalists, or anybody.

Recently, Twitter allowed some users to write tweets of up to 280 characters instead of the usual 140. Issues like harassment, online bullying, and potentially inciting nuclear war are important, but they had to wait so Twitter could make sure jerks like me would have more sand in their sandboxes, apparently. It is my gift, it is my curse. I take this responsibility very seriously, and I feel a certain noblesse oblige to help other writers who have been or will one day be granted this awesome power. If you’re an author, a writer, or just someone willing to visit this website and click the banner ads, it is your solemn duty to read this column and learn how to wield your words effectively in this expansive new landscape.

(Author’s note: If you’re one of the unwashed still pecking out your book promotions and Twitter pitch contests [1] 140 characters at a time like a caveman chiseling into a stone tablet, I’m sorry that I have nothing for you today. You’ll have to make do with my previous Twitter columns [2]; I stand by what I wrote back then, but now that I’ve seen the 280-character future, my mind has been opened to the thrilling possibilities of the universe, like in that expanding-brain meme (if you don’t know what that is, then you definitely don’t have 280-character Twitter)).




I may have just killed one of my favorite characters today :(





And finally, now that you know all my secrets, you can write your own writing-advice column about how authors can use 280 characters. With all that extra Tweeting space, you can practically fit it into a single tweet.

How are you planning to use your 280 characters on Twitter? Share your ideas in the comments!

About Bill Ferris [4]

After college, Bill Ferris [5] left Nebraska for Florida to become a rich and famous rock star. Failing that, he picked up the pen to become a rich and famous novelist. He now lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and looks forward to a life of poverty and ridicule.