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How (Not) to Overcome Fear

By

Picture by Flickr user dryhead

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

— Frank Herbert, Dune

Fear is not unique to writers, but we do seem to spend a lot of time dwelling in its kingdom. Sometimes I think the only thing I spend more time doing than being afraid of some element of writing is trying not to be afraid. It’s a little bit insane.

Let’s talk about fear.

Fear is not the enemy. It doesn’t exist to stop you achieving greatness; it exists to make you consider whether your intended actions will lead to greatness or despair. Will jumping off a cliff make you a daredevil, or a particularly unappetising pancake? Fear is that little voice that stands with you at the edge of the precipice and says: “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

And yet much of our culture is based on the precept that fear is bad. The only thing worse in our society than being afraid is telling people that you’re afraid. People are literally afraid of being perceived as being afraid. This particularly applies to men, incidentally, who are conditioned by society to believe that admitting to emotions of any kind–particular fear–equates to “weakness”, but it’s true of anyone who prides themselves on their objectivity and rationality.

Is it just me, or is that a little messed up?

Fear is anxiety caused by the anticipation of an imagined future event or experience. It’s the answer to “what if”, when imagined by a pessimist. Or a novelist—after all, isn’t imagining “what if” and then “making it worse” essentially the job description of a writer?

 

Writers’ fear tends to manifest in one of a few ways.

Fear of Failure

What if your writing sucks? What if everyone who’s ever told you they like your work is just being nice? What if your writing is derivative and boring? What if everyone hates it?

Fear of Success

What if you can never write something that good again? What if your current story is worse than your last story? What if you can’t handle the extra pressure of people loving your work?

Fear of Being Judged

What if I share my opinion and nobody else feels the same? What if people think I’m stupid? What if people think I’m wrong? What if people hate me because of my words?

Fear of Being Found Out (Imposter Syndrome)

What if people realise I don’t really know what I’m doing? What if they realise I’m just pretending to be a writer? What if they figure out that I’m just…. me?

Overcoming Fear (or not)

Up at the start of this post, I included an oft-quoted passage from Frank Herbert’s Dune. Here it is in context:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

This is not a passage about avoiding fear. This is a passage about feeling fear, acknowledging fear, and then moving forward. This is a passage about courage. Courage, by definition, being taking an action in spite of being afraid.

And fear has a good side. It really does. Acknowledging your fear can make you a better writer—more focused, more committed, more open to improvement. As Samuel Johnson said some 250 years ago: “When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.”

The simply truth is that fear isn’t something that can be overcome. It’s hard-wired into our brains. It can’t be beaten with a stick. It can’t be defeated. Our only choices are to ignore it, or to acknowledge it.

When we ignore fear, we give it power. It doesn’t go anywhere, it just festers in the quiet and unexamined corners of our mind, and we find ways to avoid situations where it may rear its ugly little head. We let fear dictate our actions, and we assume that the answer to its question (“Are you sure this is a good idea?”)  is always: “No.”

When ignored fear strikes–and it always will–it’s overwhelming. When we talk about overcoming fear, it’s this ignored-until-it-overwhelms-us fear that we’re talking about. But it doesn’t have to be like that.

If when we acknowledge fear—if we let it pass over and through us—we take control of our own destiny, for good or ill.

Acknowledge your fear. Use your fear. Let it pass over and through you.

Take charge

When fear says: “Are you sure this is a good idea? What if your writing sucks?”

Answer:  “Then it sucks. But that doesn’t mean that I suck. It just means I have more to learn.”

When fear says: “Are you sure this is a good idea? What if your writing accidentally gets popular?”

Answer: “Then it gets popular, and expectations will be higher next time. But I can handle it.”

When fear says: “Are you sure this is a good idea? What if people judge you?”

Answer: “Then they judge me. But that’s not about me, that’s about them.”

And when fear says: “Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, secretly, deep down, you’re just… you.”

Answer: “You’re damn right I am.”

How do you deal with your writing fear?

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About Jo Eberhardt

Jo Eberhardt is a writer of speculative fiction, mother to two adorable boys, and lover of words and stories. She lives in rural Queensland, Australia, and spends her non-writing time worrying that the neighbor's cows will one day succeed in sneaking into her yard and eating everything in her veggie garden.

Comments

  1. Jo, this is timely for me. I’m closing in on the end of a final (ha!) revision. At least it’s the one where I feel that my story is there in full. And I’m scared. Scared of finishing, of not finishing, of sucking and not sucking, of moving into a new part of this writing journey into unknown territory. So how am I dealing with it? Certainly by acknowledging and feeling it, and then by devouring posts like yours where I get reminded that it’s part of the writing. That it’s normal. That it makes us better people when he have to face it and ask ourselves hard questions. A wise man told me once that fear can drive you to your own worst behavior, or it can lift you out of it into new understanding. Now a wise woman, being you, has said much the same. Thank you for a wonderful post!

  2. I totally support what you’ve said here, Jo – have believed it as a psychotherapist and writer, have written about it for years, and embedded it in my writing for children. I believe it’s so important to welcome and explore fear with interest, not judgment, and given the definition of courage you’ve so aptly stated, move forward – taking wonderful risks with our writing – in spite of it…or perhaps, with fear as a partner.

    • Thank you, Carol. Those types of stories are so important for children to read. It’s certainly a lesson I try to impart to my children as they grow up. I’ll look for your books — sounds like they may be a great addition to their bookshelf!

  3. I agree one hundred percent with your post. My first book would not have been written if not for my husband telling me the reason I kept talking about my story and not writing it was because I was afraid that I would have to share it with the world. He was right. I did write the book. Now I use that lesson when I try to teach my students to become risk-takers and step out of their comfort zone with their own writing.

    • Thanks, Sandra. I’m glad this resonated with your own experiences with fear. Thank goodness for those people who love us enough to tell us the truth.

  4. Thanks for this other voice to answer my fears! Nice to know I’m not alone in battling this–or I guess I should say, welcoming this and knowing I’ll be a better writer and person as a result of it!!

  5. Great post, Jo! The timing of your wise words couldn’t be better for me as I begin a new project.

    This post is a keeper. Thanks.

  6. I have the fear of not being able to handle the energy required of success. The responsibility, the expected writing output, the marketing, book tour, and social media interactions. I handle it by focusing on the present moment. I’m not successful yet. I have a modest, (very modest) following on my blog and on Twitter. The only expectations imposed on me in this moment are my own doing. I tap into my intuition, and try to follow its cues. Is this what I want to be doing right now? Is this my path? If so, take it one step at a time.

    • That’s such a great way to stop fear from paralysing us. One of my favourite lines that I go back to every time I feel overwhelmed is:

      How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

    • Yes, trusting your intuition. That aligns with my higher self (when I listen to him), the one that heeds instinct. When I trust that I am doing what I should be doing and can handle what comes from that, fear evaporates.

      If only I could learn to listen to that voice all the time. But even when I don’t, I know that it will reach me in time.

      Great post, Jo. Thanks for the wisdom!

  7. Thank you! The lesson I need to learn–over and over and over, apparently. There is only now. (No matter what Faulkner said.)

  8. Dealing with fear. Such a big topic, Jo. I took particular note of the line from Dune – ‘I will permit it to pass over me and THROUGH me.’

    That’s the hard part. Fear will move in, it’s a relentless enemy. The trick is to keep it moving and moving on out.

    When I was younger I was confident in my writing. I wrote poetry and stories for friends and family and had a prized short story published in my high school year book. I never questioned my writing because it never entered my mind to do so. Then came what I like to call my Edgar Allan Poe phase. I wrote some very dark pieces. The response from my family was about the same response I’d expect from them learning I’d been switched out at birth. They had that “who ARE you?” look in their eyes. I got over the phase but I couldn’t get over the look. I was pretty sure there was something wrong with me, that my mind didn’t work the same way everyone else’s did and that my writing was nothing to take pride or pleasure in.

    I didn’t share my writing with anyone else again for years. But as most of you can probably relate to, I couldn’t keep it to myself for ever. I had to see if anyone at all would enjoy what I wrote. I was afraid but I went ahead and sent my novel manuscript out anyway. As rejection after rejection piled up, a funny thing happened. I wasn’t afraid any longer. I was determined. The fear had come in and filled a rotten little corner of my mind but when I went ahead and decided to see things through until I ran out of agents and publishers to approach, it slunk away.

    Long story short, I found a home for my novel. I can’t say I’m not afraid any more but after conquering that first fear, it doesn’t grip me quite like it did back then and I have the tools to send it packing.

    • What a fantastic story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I think you’ve hit on a really important point, too. Once you move forward, acknowledging that your fear is there, and it’s real, but it’s not in control, it has no more power over you.

      Congrats on finding a home for your novel, and on being courageous.

  10. I loved this, Jo. Not only because it’s wonderfully written and honest and true, but because I’ve been dealing with fear and anxiety related to writing lately. I’m currently waiting for the rest of my beta-reader feedback on a manuscript, and while much of the comments that have already come in are incredibly helpful, I can’t help but focus on the negatives, the things I’m not doing well, and whether I’m a good writer at all. And it’s gotten to the point where it’s interfering with my new writing project, my concentration, and other aspects of life.

    This piece, though. This is a welcome and necessary reminder that fear (and other toxic emotions that can come with it, like anxiety) needs to be acknowledged and that, once we do acknowledge it, we often need to ride it out and create a method for taking charge so that we can calm ourselves down and feel like… well, ourselves again. I’m already planning to journal tonight as a means of acknowledging my fear / anxiety again and “having a conversation with it,” sort of like what you suggested at the end of your post.

    What’s even more amazing is that a number of the writing blogs I follow have recently posted articles about writer’s fear, confidence, and doubt. It’s almost as though the Universe is sending me a message through what I’ve been reading… and I need to pay attention to it.

    Thank you for writing this. :)

  11. Thank you for posting this. It really inspired me. It was because of fear that I had been unable to keep writing and publish my first book.

    Yes, it wasn’t because I was lazy nor was it because I wasn’t a creative person…those are all lies that I tell myself to avoid writing the book. I could’ve finished writing that anytime that I liked, I’ve even thought of the perfect ending for it. But because fear and self-doubt, I was always hesitating and avoiding to face the problem.

    Thank you for posting this and giving the courage to face my fears, self-doubt, and the guilt that had unknowingly accumulated with time as well when I kept berating myself for being unable to finish the book.

    I think I’ve found the courage to keep on trying and finish my book this year. :)

    Sincerely,
    Yicheng Liu

 

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