Please welcome back Yona Zeldis McDonough, the award-winning author of seven novels, twenty-seven books for children and numerous essays, articles, and short stories; her latest novel is The House on Primrose Pond. Yona is also the editor of two anthologies and the Fiction Editor of Lilith Magazine. She makes her home in Brooklyn, New York.
I’ve always been intrigued by the novel-within-the-novel format but had never attempted it in one of my own books. The idea gnawed at me though and when I found an opportunity where I thought it would work, I jumped at it.
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Juggling Act: Writing a Novel Within a Novel
In my latest novel, my protagonist Susannah is a writer of historical fiction. The other central character is her neighbor, a widow in her seventies—yet this story line and conflict between characters did not feel like enough to me. So I turned to New Hampshire history for inspiration—the story is set in a lakeside cabin in that state–and after some digging around, I came upon the story of Ruth Blay, who, in 1768, was the last woman hanged in the state. Her crime? Concealing the birth of an illegitimate child. As soon as I read this, I knew I had to incorporate it into the novel, and I “gave” my protagonist Ruth’s story to tell.
As I wrote, I soon found that Susannah and I were embarked on the same journey: how to bring this story to life, and what would be the best way to tell it. I had several concerns as I dealt with this historical material: where to place it within the larger novel, how much to use at any one time, how closely I should stick to the actual facts, and how much poetic license I could allow myself. I also wanted to establish a thematic connection between the two story lines.
At first, I found the juggling of the two stories overwhelming. How to achieve that balance between past and present was a constant concern and since I had never attempted anything of this kind before and wasn’t sure I could make it work.
I struggled with the question of who the narrator should be: Ruth Blay herself, or Betsey Pettingill, a little girl who was central to the events leading to Blay’s tragic end. I also had to curb my desire to write more and more of this secondary tale—I wanted to fill in so many details about those lives lived long ago, but I reluctantly had to accept that if I indulged too freely, I would weight the story too heavily in the past and lose momentum in the present. Yet I found the story-within-the-story so compelling that I simply would not give it up.
Here are some of things I learned along the way that helped me tame the material:
- Pay close attention to pacing and rhythm. Make sure that each section of the sub-story ends on a note of suspense or tension, to keep the reader interested.
- Stick to the facts, at least as they are known. Where there is no information, feel free to speculate, imagine, and fabricate.
- Do all the research you can. For me, this meant visiting key sites, studying historic documents preserved in the state archive, and immersing myself in the period by visiting museums to study clothing, dishes, paintings and furniture of the time.
- Consider changing the POV for the story-within-the-story. For instance, if your main story is in the third person, use the first, second or first person plural for the secondary novel.
- Keep ratio in mind. The secondary novel should not overwhelm the main story.
- When you have a completed draft, pull out all the secondary material and read it in sequence. See how it flows and how successfully it conveys the story you want to tell.
Writing a novel-within-a-novel creates a set of formal problems and challenges that may seem daunting at first. But if you feel your novel’s themes and characters would be enhanced by the dual story lines, it is worth making the effort to synthesize and unite the two. Many readers love to slip back and forth between different places and times; it allows them, like us, to fully experience the richness that the fictional world can provide.
Have you written–or thought about writing–a novel within a novel? What advice or thoughts can you offer?
I love stories like this. I’ve had on my “to be written” list a mystery series set in the past and present, unravelling two mysteries at once. The first one would place my protagonist in a murder scene in Gettysburg. The past mystery would involved the only woman killed at Gettysburg, Jennie Wade. My “what if?” is: what if she wasn’t killed by a stray bullet, but purposely. As I researched Jennie, I found that she had quite an intriguing story of her own. Her Confederate fiancé had been killed recently, but she hadn’t known it yet. The Union soldier who held the note from her fiance was killed at Gettysburg, but before he could get the note to here. I sensed a lover’s triangle. And the perfect murder.
It’s amazing what a little digging can turn up. And it’s even more fun when we can give our readers a small history lesson. I know I love picking up those tidbits when I read.
Thanks for the post. I love your ideas for keeping such a novel on the right track.
That sounds like fascinating material, and a great story, Ron! I really hope you write it. And I agree that readers like learning something from what they read, even a novel. History is just one of those things, though there are others too.
You’re correct about the juggling act of a story within a story. I’ve done this in all my novels as part of my brand, and I found the most critical element is keeping the time lines constant in both stories throughout the novel.
I’ve done this and had the same initial trepidation. I’ve written four books with past/present mysteries for a series called Secrets of the Quilt. Since I love research, I really enjoyed these. Your book sounds intriguing.
I guess I did this without realizing what to call it! The tale I chronicled is in an epic fantasy setting, where the current protagonist is unraveling an ancient mystery. The source of his clues is a manuscript written by a man living centuries before, who went mad from what he learned. Thus, the clue-book is rather bent and obscure and I show only excerpts of it. Different voice as you advised (whew!).
Overall I’m not sure how these other-book excerpts work out (I have classic Kingdom Chronicle headlines, diary entries and letters in there as well). They’re accepted in the genre, and I think they lend authority to the story. But of course they create a break from the current-time action, and can become a hammock in a finger-snap. Always makes me nervous- and of course the tale is already on the long side!
Great stuff to think about here, thanks!
Very topical post for me. Thank you, Yona.
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I may have written a story within a story without planning it.
My new novel about the unknown (boy) child from Titanic shows the points of view of two others.
One is a woman passenger he befriends, the other is the woman’s unborn daughter, the girl he was going to marry, who survives the disaster. The boy attempts to reincarnate to be with her and regain their future, but it goes horribly wrong and instead, he becomes the girl’s invisible childhood friend. She narrates what it’s like to grow up with a ghost-child who is forever five-years-old.
This last ‘phase’ is both children narrating separately. The girl gets older and the boy becomes more and more conflicted over his age because in death he has the awareness of all his past lives.
But throughout, it’s the boy’s story as he struggles with becoming trapped in a half-life, unable to be the conscious adult he wants to be.
I wrote in three separate sections, each narrated in first person. The passenger lady has her story of how she came to be on the ship, the boy has old wounds he must to from his past, and the girl grows-up wanting a life of her own. Hence three voices.
I must say the previous stories are compelling stories that I’d like to follow.
Yona, I found your post intriguing and wonder how you planned to tie the two novels together.
I suppose I did some of that in my debut novel, A CRY FROM THE DEEP, which is a time-slip story about two different women, one in present day and one in mid-nineteenth century. As one appears as a spirit to the other, I set up a mystery as to why she was haunting my protagonist. It became complicated as I was marrying a number of genres as well–romance, mystery, and adventure, but I’m happy with the result.
I’ve recently struggled with a re-write of a different kind. My grandmother’s story set during WWI in what is now Western Ukraine. I attempted to weave another novel in, a story about my mother and myself in first person (like that graphic novel, MAUS), but for the life of me, couldn’t figure out how the two stories would converge in the end. Anything I could come up with seemed contrived and manipulative. So, I’ve abandoned that idea. I now realize my grandmother’s story is strong enough on its own.
But maybe I’ll try the novel within a novel for my next project. Love the fun of the challenge and of course, all that research.
Very interesting post. I have never tried writing a story within a story, but I do enjoy reading them. You made some good points to consider should I ever think about writing such a book. Right now I am writing a novel of real life about my mother, and your post made me stop to wonder if I should incorporate my story with hers, but like Diana said about her book about her grandmother, my mothers story stands on its own. I think. LOL Wouldn’t writing be so much easier if we could be more certain about things?
Interesting post. I can’t imagine writing a story within a story–one historical fiction novel from 2 POV is plenty for me! But I admire you tackling this. AM saving this post and will link to it in an upcoming newsletter on Stories within Stories. Thanks!
Writing a novel within a novel has always seemed a daunting task to me, though I’ve had an idea for one on the back burner for a while. Your suggestions are encouraging. I’d thought about the need for balance between the two stories, but love the idea of pulling out the secondary story and seeing how it works on its own. Hmm, changing POV . . . I may try that. Thanks, Yona!
All my novels are written like this, I mean story-within-story frame. One is already released, the other two are with the editors of the publishing house that accepted them. And in each I used a different technique. In Shadows of the Past, released in 2012, the past and present come in alternate chapters. As you say here, each chapter ends on a cliffhanger making the reader eager to see what happens next. In the second one, the past story comes after the present one and in he latest it is included within the present time action. I used in all 3rd person POV as the characters are different –it’s reincarnation, past life etc, which allowed me to keep it. It wasn’t easy and you are right regarding a thorough documentation of the past, the Middle Ages.
Thanks for an interesting and useful, for me, topic!
Hi! The first time when I read a novel within a novel I could not understand what this book was writing about at all! It was a little bit strange for me to read it! However, I think that this type of writing highlight it among others! Now I am fond of reading such novels and I recommend everyone to try reading them too! Thanks for sharing such an interesting information here! I will be thankful if you share some interesting novels for reading like this one!
My WIP The Gravediggers may have a novel within the novel, or a few short stories in the novel, told–or read by–the characters. One of them was about a lakeside town in NH! It’s based on Province Lake, South Effingham, and the corner of Province Lake Road (Rt. 153) and Stagecoach Road and Hasty Road, and it’s almost completely made up. But at that intersection, there really is an old church, and a small church graveyard. And the stones in this graveyard do face the two lonely gravestones, which stand like two lost sentinels across Hasty Road…
But how to incorporate this into the larger novel? This post offers a few ideas. Thanks!