Twitter is chock full of vague, generic, redundant tweets. Usually my eyes skim over them like the filler they are, but every once in a while I’ll sink into one and roll around in the absurdity of it. I have no excuse other than sheer glee at such nonsense. (Yes, my humor is a little twisted.) [pullquote]I have an announcement! I’ll be looking for your questions about the strange and magical ways of Twitter – everything from function to etiquette to theory – and answering a few of them right here on Writer Unboxed. Details are at the bottom of this post.[/pullquote]So today I thought I’d share the joy by posting the 10 most generic tweets of all time – snark included free of charge.
(But seriously, I’ve posted a few of these too. Don’t sweat it, guys. This is all in good fun.)
1. I’m drinking coffee. I like it!
Yes, we know. Everyone likes coffee. You’re probably not even a “real writer” if you don’t have coffee siphoned down your throat as a form of alarm clock. (We won’t speak of The Tea People.)
2. I want some chocolate.
3. I love bacon.
I’m seeing a trend here…
4. Nutella, amirite?
I don’t know how to break this to you guys, but Nutella really isn’t that great. I mean, it’s fine, but it’s no coffee. Let’s just not pretend it is, okay?
5. I’m upset. =(
I’m sorry, but that is so vague I have no possible answer but… “I’m sorry.” And if we ask, “What’s wrong?” and you can’t even tell us, a particularly unfriendly lobster will come pinch your toes tonight while you sleep. Not even kidding.
6. I have good news that I can’t share! =D
Tease. Braggart and tease!
7. Buy my books! Links, links, more links. #Free #ebook #romance #fantasy #mystery #thriller #contemporary #Kindle #LetsHaveAHashtagParty #OhDidIMentionMyBookIsOnSale
8. Retweet if you love rainbows!
9. “Inspirational quotes tell you not to give up.” –Anon <3
It’s my personal belief that no one in the past 100 years has bothered to look for any quotations that haven’t already been quoted at least 10,000 times before. <3
10. It’s so cold in here!
Gee, maybe you should put some socks on.
Okay, I’ve had my rant. It’s your turn! What generic tweet drives you crazy?
NOTE: I have an announcement! Starting with my next post, which will be March 14th, we’ll be trying out a new feature we’re calling Ask Annie! I’ll be looking for your questions about the strange and magical ways of Twitter – everything from function to etiquette to theory – and answering a few of them right here on Writer Unboxed. Your question can be anonymous! Questions can come to me through the comments here, directly to my email at firstname.lastname@example.org, or on Twitter itself; tweet me @AnnieNeugebauer. In case I want to choose yours, please specify if you’d like your question to remain anonymous or be attributed to you, and if you do want it attributed to you, please include your name, Twitter handle (optional), and website (optional). And don’t worry; if I don’t get to your question this time around, there’s always next time.
There you have it. Generic tweet snark and Ask Annie questions are all welcome in the comments below!