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Apply Now for the Bill Ferris Hyundai Accent Residency

Hacks for Hacks: Sense of Humor RequiredWarning: Hacks for Hacks tips may have harmful side effects on your writing career, and should not be used by minors, adults, writers, poets, scribes, scriveners, journalists, or anybody.

So I hear you didn’t get your Amtrak Residency [1]. You may think the next logical step is to stuff your laptop into a bindle and hop aboard a freight train under cover of darkness, but that’s a terrible idea. There’s nowhere to charge your phone on those things. If your best work requires that you endure slow, uncomfortable travel through the middle of nowhere, consider applying for the Bill Ferris Hyundai Accent Residency program.

About

Bill Ferris' 2003 Hyundai Accent
Your chariot awaits.

The Hyundai Accent residency is designed to inspire writers by treating them to a view of the beautiful American countryside, as seen through the passenger-side window of Bill Ferris’ 2003 Hyundai Accent.

The residency includes round-trip travel from Chapel Hill, North Carolina to my parents’ house in South Sioux City, Nebraska. I plan on taking the scenic route, meaning we’ll see iconic sights like Carhenge [2]; the Corn Palace [3] in Mitchell, South Dakota; and the endless, endless corn fields of Iowa. I’ll tell you, there’s no scenery quite like agribusiness.

Each residency winner will be given accommodations in the shotgun seat, which reclines pretty far for sleeping purposes. We will stop at only the finest rest stops, with bountiful snack and pop machines.

[pullquote]The Hyundai Accent residency is designed to inspire writers by treating them to a view of the beautiful American countryside, as seen through the passenger-side window of Bill Ferris’ 2003 Hyundai Accent.[/pullquote]

Also included:

I can tell you’re feeling inspired already. Let’s get started on your application.

Application Process

There is no cost to apply for the Hyundai Accent Residency, though the judging panel has never been averse to getting a little dough-re-mi on the side, if you know what I mean. Your application requires the following information:

Oh yeah, I suppose you should submit a writing sample. Let’s set a max at, say, 100 words. If you think that’s not enough room to display your plumage, remember that brevity is the soul of wit, and that it takes greater skill to write short pieces than long ones. Also, I’m too lazy to read a hundred thousand words for this.

Terms and Conditions

Submit Your Application

Submit your application for the Bill Ferris Hyundai Accent Residency in the comments section below. Applications must be received by whenever I scrounge up enough gas money and vacation days for the trip. Let’s hit the road!

About Bill Ferris [4]

After college, Bill Ferris [5] left Nebraska for Florida to become a rich and famous rock star. Failing that, he picked up the pen to become a rich and famous novelist. He now lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and looks forward to a life of poverty and ridicule.