Writers are simple creatures with simple needs. A firm hand and a consistent approach will solve most problems. The following steps are a failsafe guide. Bear in mind that patience may be required with the more strong-willed writer.
1. Seating: Establish your place on the chair before your writer sits down to work. She should be restricted to the front edge. Ignore any whining about ergonomics. If she sits down first, jump up behind and push until she makes room for you. Do not give ground. Note: larger breeds should adopt a work position close to, or underneath, the writer’s desk. Cushions and a heater / fan are essential. Shiver / pant as appropriate if these are slow to arrive.
2. Breaks: Train your writer to take frequent breaks. Jump on and off the chair. Roll a ball across the floor or drop it beside her foot. Repeat until your writer responds correctly. Whining can be effective. However, if a deadline is looming your writer will become blind and deaf to all the usual cues. See Deadlines, below. Breaks must be long enough to accommodate ball play, a drink and a snack. Hint: positive reinforcement is the best form of training. Allow your writer a drink and a snack too if she has performed well. Ball play is good for her (see ergonomics, above.)
3. Interruptions: A ringing doorbell or phone is the cue for another break. Jump off the chair, barking loudly, and rush to the door/phone. Intimidate the visitor, who must learn not to disturb the creative flow. As soon as the writer shuts the door/hangs up the phone, it is time for a drink, snack and more ball play. Train her not to return to the desk until she has attended to this.
4. Walks: Your writer must be taught that these take absolute precedence. When you feel it is time, leap on her knee, lick her face and generally get in the way of whatever else she is doing. Use your imagination here. Paws on the keyboard can be compelling. Your writer must not be allowed to settle to work before the first walk of the day has taken place.
5. Treats: Every writer enjoys treats. Train her to share these with you. You should get at least half. If there are two dogs in the household, everyone gets one third, regardless of size. Human treats do not count towards your daily quota of so-called ‘doggy treats.’ Your writer should be encouraged to believe that chocolate is good for dogs.
*Gretel is wrong. Chocolate is actually harmful to dogs’ health.
6. Deadlines: These are every dog’s nightmare. Discipline goes out the window and writers work from dawn till dusk, forgetting entirely who is boss. Walks are late, short or non-existent. Treats and breaks are inferior and irregular. Your writer may indulge in bouts of whimpering. Be patient. When she meets the deadline there will be superior snacks, walks and attention. Help her through the rough patch with cuddles and stoicism. Remember that without you she could not get her job done.
This post courtesy of Gretel (pictured taking a break)
About Juliet Marillier
Juliet Marillier has written twenty-four novels for adults and young adults as well as a collection of short fiction. Her works of historical fantasy have been published around the world and have won numerous awards. Juliet is currently working on a historical fantasy trilogy, Warrior Bards, of which the third book, A Song of Flight, will be published in August/September 2021. Her collection of reimagined fairy tales, Mother Thorn, will have a trade release in April 2021. Mother Thorn is illustrated by Kathleen Jennings and published by Serenity Press. When not writing, Juliet looks after Reggie, her elderly rescue dog.
if you’ve ever lived in solitude with a dog, you begin to understand that they really do know how to ‘live’ – they believe every activity should begin and end with a nap. that is sooo true! the believe everything they do should be rewarded… that is soooo true! licks and kisses are to be sought after at all times… that is sooo true! if something is so so very good, it’s okay to beg for more…that is sooo true! i could go on and on, but i do believe dogs were put on earth to remind us dim humans how to live right….signed, petey and baby’s mummy
I don’t have a dog, but I know cats have a demanding need for attention–in a ‘p*ss-off-I’m-lying-on-they-keyboard-right-now’ sort of way.
When I’m deep in a scene, sometimes I’ll feel a hackling on the back of my neck. I’ll look over and see my cat on the the shelf, staring at me with a glare that says, “why doesn’t she get off her butt and pet me?” Then I’ll reach over to her and she’ll jump off the shelf and walk away.
She just wanted to show me who’s still in control of our relationship.
This post was a lot of fun, Juliet. Thanks!
Now I have to think of a good snack/treat for myself once this manuscript is finished. A nice trip, I think.
You make it sound so easy! I think even I could manage that.
Cheers
Hemingway was into walks too. Great advice, thanks!
I get a lot of my best creative ideas while walking Gretel and her larger off-sider, Outlaw.