Warning: Hacks for Hacks tips may have harmful side effects on your writing career, and should not be used by minors, adults, writers, poets, scribes, scriveners, journalists, or anybody.
The whole point of publishing a book is so that others will read it. The problem with people reading your books is that they insist on having opinions about them, rather than simply stating the objective fact that your book is better than the complete works of Hemingway and Rowling combined. Whether positive or negative, whether penned by a professional critic in a literary journal or hastily typed by some rando on Amazon, you’ve got to prepare your ego for how to handle book reviews. Here’s how to cope:
What to Do When You Get Good Reviews
- Celebrate with pizza and beer, or your preferred pie and carbonated beverage.
- Leave a comment thanking the reviewer for their time, attention, and good taste.
- Do a brag post on Twitter about how many great reviews your book has. Some people find this annoying. You can safely ignore those Philistines so long a your book averages 3.5 stars or above.
- Follow up with folks who left positive reviews when you release your next book. You know, just to let them know it’s out there.
- Ping those good reviewers to ask if they’ve read your next book, and if so, if they’d mind leaving a nice review for that one as well? And, by the by, is there anything you can get for them while you’re up?
- Follow up, and helpfully send them a list of superlatives that are easy to spell and very evocative of your book.
- Follow up again, including a sample review you wrote for them that they can just sign their name to. (It’s not plagiarizing, it’s ghostwriting.)
- Facebook-friend them, and nonchalantly ask them what they’re reading, *winky emoji*.
- Call them on the phone. I’d offer tips on how to track down their phone number, but if you’ve made it to this stage, I trust you’ve figured it out on your own already.
Hmm, something tells me this is a good time to segue into dealing with bad reviews. [Read more…]