Weaknesses–Our Hidden Strengths
Robin LaFevers on Sep 14 2012 | Filed under: CRAFT, Inspirations, PR, Shrinking Violets, Social Media
It’s one of the first rules of characterization we writers learn—give our protagonists a fatal flaw. Even better? Use that fatal flaw to bring about the character’s ultimate triumph. It is one of my favorite character arcs, how that flaw can end up being the thing that saves us, given the right set of circumstances.
As writers, we need to remember to apply it not just to our stories, but to ourselves and our writing and publishing journey.
We’re human beings, so the grass is always greener on the other side—except that it’s not.
So instead of pining for those other personality traits that you think might bring you success, identify your own perceived weaknesses and use them to cheerfully slog your own path to success.
While introverts have always been in the minority, in the past certain occupations seemed well suited to the introvert—an author sitting in a garret slaving away at their book in solitude, for one. But in the age of social media and platforms, it’s easy to perceive being an introverted author as a flaw. It’s easy to look at those extroverted authors as being the lucky ones—the ones for whom grasping publishing’s brass ring (however you define it) will be a snap.
Or will it? Because even in the age of social media, writing requires long stretches of solitude. And extroverts don’t simply like people or crowds or socializing more than introverts—they process the world around them through their socializing and that is how they recharge their batteries. So being an extroverted writer has its downsides as well.
But what if instead of focusing on the downsides, we altered our perspective a bit and used those very downsides as a source of strength? What if we recognized that there were at least 57 varieties of publishing success and there were plenty of paths for both extroverts and introverts?
So the introvert who tends to beat themselves up over their lack of drive in the marketing and promotional aspects of their career can instead, knowingly and with full intent, opt for a different route. Use the very characteristics that define you as an introvert and let them lead you to your own flavor of success. For an introvert that might include:
- spending more (solitary) time in the pursuit of mastering craft
- use social media to connect with readers rather than trying to broadcast to or attract them.
- focusing on your ability to form deep, meaningful connections with people to plumb the depths of the human psyche in your work
Extroverted writers might have more trouble staying focused on their work. In fact, I sometimes suspect that the adage ‘butt in chair’ was invented specifically for extroverts. But there are areas where their natural social skills can contribute greatly to their success as a writer.
- use social media often to keep their batteries charged for the harder, solitary work of doing the actual writing
- use their natural ability to network to spread the word about their work and aspirations
- meet and write with other writers to stay motivated
- pull others into their orbit to accompany them on their journey so that when they do cross the finish line, they have a built in cheering section.
But of course our social preferences aren’t the only area where our weaknesses can be our hidden strengths. That same potential exists at the very core of who we are. Being a smart ass, a compulsive liar, highly competitive, OCD, excruciatingly sensitive, or being a daydreamer can all feel like definite weaknesses.
Except when you let that smart ass sense of humor seep into your work so that your writing has that same sense of attitude or flippancy. Or maybe that smart ass attitude is the very thing that gives you the buoyancy to try again after your umpteenth rejection.
And I’m sorry, but what is writing if not compulsive lying? You’ve been practicing your fiction writing your entire life and didn’t even know it!
Being highly competitive or OCD pretty much ensures that you will keep trying until you get it right. That you have the drive and focus to do the 18th draft or polish every sentence in the entire book—five times—to be certain it shines.
And daydreaming? One person’s daydream is another’s pre-writing exercise. Just as the very things that make a person hyper sensitive are the very things that will allow them to perceive and capture the full spectrum and intensity of human emotions.
Rigidity can fuel discipline, insecurity can provide the impetus for constantly striving, and being selfish means you will be very, very good at carving out time for your writing.
Quickly now, without thinking too much about it, write down your three most glaring weaknesses. Have you examined them from another perspective? Is there a way they can serve your writing, bring your voice to life, or aid you toward your publishing goals?
Now I want you to do the same thing again, but this time really think about it. Find a quiet hour or so and really think about your core weaknesses, wander back through your childhood memories and those painful high school years and identify those things that have been tripping you up since your were old enough to remember. What about those weaknesses—the ones that lie at the very root of your coping mechanisms? Is there a way of flipping them around so that they can serve your writing or publishing goals?
I’d be willing to bet there is. They might even serve as the cornerstone of your success.
(photo courtesy of Flickr’s Steve Corey)
























Great post! It reminded me of when I was a kid and a teacher told me I reminded her of a sponge, soaking everything up all around me. I had never thought of my being quiet and shy in quite that way before and it made me feel so much better about myself. To this day, I try to remind myself that it’s okay I’m awkward and not so great in social situations because I’m just taking it all in to use later in a story or blog post or whatever… :)
Madeline Mora-Summonte´s last blog post ..In the Spirit of Sharing
Like?
1
Wow Madeline! What a wonderful gift for that teacher to have given you! I love that imagery.
Like?
0
“And daydreaming? One person’s daydream is another’s pre-writing exercise.”
Thank you! I could’ve used this truth back then. :) Daydreaming has always been a big part of my creative process and I used to withdraw from everything/everyone just so I could do it without interruption. What does that tell you about me?
Like?
0
On school visits, I tell the kids I managed to turn daydreaming into a career. :-)
Like?
1
I thought for a minute there you were going to ask everyone to share. Whew! We only have to think about it.
Thanks for the encouragement and the writing tip at the beginning – “Use that fatal flaw to bring about the character’s ultimate triumph.” Saving that one.
Like?
0
Gak! Never! Not that kind of stuff anyway!
Like?
0
I love the way you rotate the stone so the facets catch the light from the other side. Good work, Robin.
alex wilson´s last blog post ..Great Riff on Writing:
Like?
2
What a lovely way to put that, Alex!
Like?
0
Thanks for this, Robin. I used to wish my OCD would go away completely – no, not the spotless cleaning type of OCD – until I went to a workshop where an agent was talking about the importance of writers being obsessed with their work. He said most writers he knew did have some sort of OCD. It’s why they stayed in on Friday nights or skipped cocktail hour because they couldn’t wait to get back to their story. While I try to rid myself of the negative aspects of obsessive thinking, I do see the positive side of it when it comes to storytelling and getting projects done for my clients. Thanks for this reminder about the silver lining.
Malena Lott´s last blog post ..Is it time to crack yourself open?
Like?
1
I so get that, Malena! We spend so much time wishing we had different flaws–it’s a huge energy suck. Glad you’re able to see it as a silver lining now.
Like?
0
Thank you. This is an incredibly encouraging post!
Like?
0
You’re welcome!
Like?
0
Excellent post! I’ve been trying to do this with being a “slow” writer–like being extroverted, being fast is often seen as a virtue in the current climate and I’ve beat myself bloody wishing I could write faster. That, needless to say, hasn’t helped. So I’ve been working on changing my expectations and accepting my place in the publishing world.
Like?
1
YES! The pressure to be a fast writer is intense. I try to remind myself that there are many examples of brilliant writers who take their time.
Like?
0
Love this, Robin. What a great idea. Turning our weaknesses into our strengths.
But what about inventing strengths? For characters, I mean. At the top of your post you mentioned character flaws. It’s not a problem to find those in manuscripts! Harder to find are characters who stir in me admiration, hope and care because they’re strong, principled or just plain good people.
So while we’re daydreaming, why not dream about who we’d *like* to be? What are our better selves like? Okay, we can’t be that. We’re smart asses, compulsive liars, highly competitive, OCD, excruciatingly sensitive, or daydreamers. (Well, not me of course.)
But our characters can be like our better selves. That way they can redeem us flawed writers while we redeem them in what we write.
Gee, I’m feeling better about myself already. Thanks for a great post. Getting to expect those from you!
Like?
1
Ack! The pressure!
I’m actually very surprised to hear that so many protagonists you see are lacking in heroic qualities because, yes, I absolutely want to read about people who inspire me. Now I’m going to have to pay attention and see if that’s one of the things that causes me to set books aside…
Like?
0
I love this post. So much good food for thought.
Yes, I can identify my weaknesses easily, and I had two of the three as a kid. How’s that for progress? : ) I’m going to go turn them on their head and see how they might be of benefit.
Like?
0
Ha! Such a quick study, Robena!
Like?
0
A lot of my ‘weakness” in social situations comes from how my brain works, which makes social networking the easier way to be among a “crowd.” Because I can form my words and express myself in a way that gives me time to do it.
Like?
1
Fabulous post, Robin! I bookmarked it and took notes. Thank you!
Becke
Like?
0
I began meditating 2 years ago because in a primary relationship, I kept oscillating between intense anger at the other person, and intense guilt that I wasn’t some other person who wouldn’t BE angry in my situation! (A good illustration of the Buddhist concept of Samsara)
What I found is that the practice has also helped me as a writer. I suffer from what I call “thorn moments” when a painful, negative thought gets stuck in the middle of my head, all about what kind of writer I think I ought to be–and or course, aren’t. Learning to sit and see things, feelings, thoughts, as they are has not only helped to still the mind that freaks out and drives the thorns in deeper. It’s helped my writing to improve.
Great post, Robin! I look forward to more from you.
Helen W. Mallon´s last blog post ..Excerpt from “Casual Day at the Crazy House” (Plus Swag!)
Like?
0
[...] – Robin LaFevers on how our weaknesses are also our strengths [...]
Like?
0
[...] You can read the full article HERE. [...]
Like?
0
Bravo Robin,
A thoughtful & thought-filled post – much like your workshops, books, & I imagine memos, notes to spouse, shopping lists…
Like?
0