The Secret to Finding the Time to Write, Market, Promote, and Still Have a Life
Jane Friedman on Dec 23 2011 | Filed under: Business, REAL WORLD
As a frequent speaker, one question I can count on, in every setting—no matter the topic, event, or audience skill level—is:
How do you find the time to do all this?
“All this” refers to writing, blogging, marketing, promoting, social media, website building, blogging, traveling, speaking, plus my day job of university professor. The question comes up so often that I wonder what kind of secret people think I’m hiding, like …
- I hire administrative help.
- I use ghostwriters.
- I enslave students.
- I take a pill that means I never have to sleep.
- I’ve discovered how to clone myself.
- I’m an alien life form.
Up until now, I’ve never had a good answer for people who asked this question. I sleep, eat, watch TV, and have downtime like everyone else.
But I’ve been meditating on what helpful advice I might have that doesn’t involve miraculous scientific advances or large inheritances.
Here are 5 strategies.
1. Decide what you’ll stop doing—and I’m not talking about TV.
This isn’t discussed nearly often enough. Every year, you should make a “stop doing” list. It’s a highly personal activity if done right, so I can’t say universally to all of you: Stop doing THIS.
However, when I talk about a “stop doing” list, I’m not talking about stuff like watching TV, working in your yard, going shopping, or other activities that make life enjoyable—though these things be on your list too. Your call.
What I’m really talking about are projects and activities that probably fall under the rubric of the writing life, but have (1) stopped being fun and enjoyable, (2) aren’t pushing you further or growing your skills, and (3) suck up your time without benefit. Sometimes you even have to stop doing things you enjoy because you have to free up time for something more important to you. (For instance, I stopped doing weekly Best Tweets for Writers compilations, even though I enjoyed it.)
These are tough decisions to make, but if you don’t currently have the time you need to make progress, you have to stop doing something. (Gather more ideas here.)
Finally—and most controversially in this context—stop reading writing advice. Like it or not, it’s one of the biggest and most attractive distractions in the world, because it usually comes with community, conversations, and relationships. But you can overindulge in it, especially if you’re constantly telling yourself you’re not “ready” to write. One gets better at writing primarily by doing two things: writing and reading. Mentoring is helpful and essential of course, but only in so much as you’re practicing and producing the work. So get to work.
2. Pay someone to do stuff that you don’t like or don’t need to learn.
This assumes you have more money than time. If not, skip to No. 3.
Long ago, I decided that my time was much better spent on writing and teaching rather than cleaning. So, I hired a cleaning service for my apartment and I never wash my car. I hire someone to do my taxes. I hired someone to move my website to a new host because, while I could manage it myself, I didn’t want the time sink or headache.
Identify activities in your life that give you no pleasure to do, and that you have the money to pay for.
3. Say good-bye to guilt and obligation.
This is the hardest thing of all, because we’re so attached to our guilt and obligation. This is a writing site, though, not a psychology site, so I won’t go into the step-by-step of how to rid yourself of these self-imposed problems, but if you’re interested in newfound freedom, then you need to examine activities you don’t enjoy and continue doing only because you feel obligated to someone. What’s the very worst thing that could happen if you stopped?
And, by the way, this applies to social media too. Do you feel obligated to read someone’s blog posts every day? Do you feel obligated to acknowledge people on social media sites, to acknowledge every e-mail and Facebook message, to respond to every single blip on your screen?
You don’t have to. Respond to the messages and to the people who actually matter to you, or when it’s a pleasure to interact, or when you feel grateful, or when you are giving from your abundance and not feeling exhausted by the activity.
4. Be good at what you do.
Some of the biggest timewasters are activities you may enjoy, but that you have little skill for. This describes me when I first started blogging in 2001. (I abandoned it, but returned to the form when I was better prepared.)
The paradox here is that you only get good at something by logging a lot of hours doing it. The more you write, the better you get at writing. The more you blog, the better you get at blogging. The more you interact on social media, the better you get at social media. And by “better,” I mean that the quality of your work increases, your efficiency increases, and your effectiveness increases.
I attribute most of my apparent productivity to the fact I’ve become very good at what I do.
If you’re not good at what you’re doing, then you must decide to:
- Pursue it harder than before and get really good
- Stop doing it so you can get good at something else
5. Spend the most time on what matters most to you.
Obvious, isn’t it? But we don’t do it. We’re constantly doing what other people tell us to do, getting sidetracked by the latest blog post, or otherwise worrying over details that won’t matter in the long run. We lose our focus.
As part of your planning for the new year, do the following:
- Decide what meaningful productivity looks like on a weekly basis. Does it mean writing 250 words every week, plus two blog posts? Does it mean having meaningful conversations on Twitter? Does it mean making progress on a long-term project? Decide, but under no circumstance should you measure productivity based on what someone else does.
- Figure out how much time it takes you to be “productive” on a weekly basis. If the amount of time scares you, then you’ve been too ambitious. Scale back to a level where you can be disciplined and consistent.
- Block out sacred time on your schedule for you to get this work done.
If you need help with specifics of task completion, see my post: My Secret to Battling Procrastination.
If, after applying these strategies to your lifestyle, you still can’t find the time to accomplish what you want, then all is not lost. Just read this post and relax.
Photo courtesy Flickr’s milos milosevic






















Lots of wisdom in this post. And, timely with New Year resolution needs closing in. It comes down to reordering priorities, a good practice and too often left untended by sloth and habit inertia. Another winner, Jane.
alex wilson´s last blog post ..Drifting Towards Screenland
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Some great advice here, already i’m beginning to see i’ll have to develop some keen time management skills. I’m trying to get involved in everything, create a strategy and then hopefully see things settle down. Maintenance, at least i’m hoping, will be easier after this.
Turndog Millionaire
Turndog Millionaire´s last blog post ..The Turndog Tales – 18/12 – 23/12
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[...] How do you find the time to do everything you do? [...]
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Love this post, especially your first suggestion. This time of year I do lots of reflection, what worked the past year and where I want to go next year. I WILL spend some time pondering,deciding what I will stop doing in 2012. Thanks for the push I needed to consider this option.
jean wise´s last blog post ..Themes of Advent – Emmanuel
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Insightful. It seems that number 5 is my problem. Worrying over details: being perfect. Listening to other people: lack of self confidence.
Mikael Monk´s last blog post ..Plants
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Good post Jane :) The image I always use is ‘stick to the big rocks’: http://youtu.be/-VDxKLSyksI
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I’ve got to love it when my favorite zen-master mentor tells me not to overindulge in mentors’ lessons and get to work. I hit that last line of #1 and had an actual lol (not just the kind we type by rote).
Also thanks for the fabulous zen link on having fun while you work. I’d missed it, and it’s wonderful. This is a great post as I ready myself for 2012. You’re awesome, Jane, even if you might be an alien life form! Happy Holidays!
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A hearty yes to all of those and more.
I stopped being a clean freak three years ago. It took a few months for my husband to notice. When he did, I told him it was his turn to do the cleaning. He hired someone to do it.
Guard your time like it’s the most precious thing in life, because it IS!
Lexus´s last blog post ..The ULTIMATE Giveaway by YA Authors!
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I always feel so guilty when someone is cleaning my house while I’m sitting at the computer IN my house. Wish there was therapy to get over that! That is definitely something that pulls me away. I’m also guilty of reading far too much advice, but I’m glad I read this today :-)
Melinda VanLone´s last blog post ..50/50 Challenge! or How I’ve Lost My Mind
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Jane, this is excellent advice for writers of all stripes. As we enter a new year, I’m thinking about how I’m going to spend more time on the projects I really *want* to work on, not just the projects I *have* to work on (namely the writing work that pays the bills). thanks for the timely reminder! :)
Kelly James-Enger´s last blog post ..Five Ways to Get More Done
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I love the first one. I have stopped doing tons of things that I used to think were important. Now, I focus my energy on the things that really matter.
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Jane, I didn’t realize you were an alien life form.
as I develop a blog and learn the art of social media, I am finding time is at a premium. but I have set some limits to what I do, will use some vacay time from the day job to write a few blog posts, so I’m ahead of the game and I’ll hire a cleaning person. That will make my life so much easier.
great ideas. thanks
Louise Behiel´s last blog post ..It’s the Bieb – Justin Bieber
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Jane, thanks again for another insightful post. I especially liked the “stop doing” list, though I have to admit, I did put “stop watching TV” on my list (with the exception of the YES Network). Your post is timely, too, since I am working on my 2012 writing goals. Thanks again.
CG Blake´s last blog post ..How Do You Measure Success?
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Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with the world this year, Jane. I’ve truly benefited from our interactions, your blog, and all the things you pull together to make it happen.
May your new year be blessed.
Claudia Hall Christian´s last blog post ..Write a lot? Here’s one way I keep up.
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Though a miracle drug would have been nice, this makes a lot more sense! But what to give up when you’re a student at everything?! Thanks for such timely advice…
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I recently released my first novel as an eBook, so I have become consumed with reading and attempting to follow every piece of promotional advice I can find. There are many voices in my head. Once says, “This is what you must do to become a writer;” the other says, “You are a writer, but you’re not writing.” I have day-life obligations to two schools and 136 students, and I feel guilty for not giving them 100% of my time. I have personal obligations to my novel and its promotion, and I feel guilty for not giving it 100% of my time. I have family obligations that I have inexcusably overlooked, and I feel guilty.
I appreciate your timely post, especially the recommendation to define what productive means for each of us. I have some prioritizing to do, and your post reminded me that I can give myself permission to step back and re-evaluate.
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Such. Great. Advice! Especially, ironically enough, “stop reading writing advice.”
The whole writing blogosphere is amazing, and I love it, but it can be a huge drain on a writer’s time and energy. It’s been hard for me and my writing buddies to realize it, but now that we have, we’re trying to prioritize, and it’s definitely been good for us.
Kristan Hoffman´s last blog post ..Writerly Wednesday
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Fantastic post, and so timely as we’re all reflecting on the past year. I’m guilty of reading blogging and writing advice. I can’t seem to help myself! Lol.
I’m off to read your post on procrastination. :)
Thanks so much for these practical pearls of wisdom. Happy holidays!
Delaney Diamond´s last blog post ..Good News – Another Accepted Manuscript!
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Thanks for good advice. I particularly like # 1 and 5.
Judith Starkston´s last blog post ..Review of You Might As Well Die by J.J. Murphy
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Useful and timely post. I’ve been “guilty” of a lot of these issues this year.
Nina´s last blog post ..A Practical Parent’s Guide to Hanukkah Gifts
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This week I finished the first draft of my novel, and have added a whole new list of things I need to learn to do and accomplish in the next year, as well as keeping up with the day-to-day writerly “stuff”. Your post points out to me that it’s important to make meaningful choices, and that’s a great guideline to follow. Thanks!
Lara Schiffbauer´s last blog post ..First Draft Done! Now What?
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Ah, what a good handle on the crux of the writer’s dilemma Jane revealed. I actually stopped writing this past year because I attended one too many writer’s conferences and listened to way too much advice. I have to reactivate that ‘midnight disease’ and stop comparing myself to those whom I admire… and especially to those whose advice is too freely offered. Thanks, Jane for supporting that decision. My advice to all sentient beings: “Omit the word ‘Should’ from your vocabulary.”
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I can’t count the number of hours I sink into reading advice blogs every week. It’s probably enough to equal an entire chapter or editing cycle.
One caveat I would add, though: pruning your task list isn’t a one-shot thing. Right now, sinking time into those blogs and networks is extremely valuable to me, because I’m a clueless twenty-something newbie to writing and publishing. I feel like I’ve grown exponentially over the past few months by spying on other writers, considering or disregarding their advice, and making sure I understand the basics of the industry so I can make informed decisions (traditional or micro publishing? Print or digital? etc. etc.). However, my first novel is a few weeks away from self-publication, and once I’ve gotten my feet wet and experimented with what works for /me/, I might not find my reading list as useful.
I would extrapolate the advice in this post to say that you should reevaluate your priorities regularly. What you can handle by yourself may turn into something you need help with when other responsibilities pop up, or vice versa. Something you consider a matter of life and death may become trivial in a month (e.g. right now it’s terribly important to you to get your readership numbers up on Blogger, but by February you might decide it isn’t worth the time you put into it). Or regarding #4, you could lose heart and decide you’re just not cut out for designing your own covers, but half a year from now you could stumble on a tutorial for Adobe Illustrator and find yourself excited to give it another shot.
Tamara´s last blog post ..Beta Reading, or, I’m Dumber Than I Think
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Wonderful advice! Thanks.
Catherine Johnson´s last blog post ..Small Camel
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I’ve been reading a lot of advice these days. And just the other day caught myself thinking “Haven’t I read this somewhere out there before?” It does get to be like a churning over of the same stuff. But it’s so easy to get sucked into. Thanks for a great post.
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Wow. Thank you.
Caroline Starr Rose´s last blog post ..You Are Invited: May B.’s Launch Party
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“Stop reading writing advice” is an excellent statement. After a while the advice gets repetitive and there’s only so much one can say about writing that hasn’t been said before. And much of the advice given isn’t relevant or worthwhile. I knew wannabe riters who attended club meetings, went to writers conferences, read books on the subject–but never actually wrote a word! Your other suggestions are good and I’ll try to take them to heart.
Sally Carpenter
“The Baffled Beatlemaniac Caper”
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Simply excellent advice, Jane! Thank you so much for the encouragement before the 2012 push to begin again. It’s great to step back, reframe, and begin anew. Great guides here. Thanks!
Jennifer Lyn King´s last blog post ..Amazing Restitution after Complete Loss: Regaining Six Centuries of Lobkowicz Family Collections
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Thanks for your thoughts on this. I’ve been thinking along these lines with 2012 fast approaching…this helps clarify some things.
Karen Lange´s last blog post ..Advice From the Hockey Rink
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Jane,
I’ve whittled down your post and Jan O’ Hara’s last post to three thoughts now pinned up on my bulletin board: Life is not infinite, trust your gut, prioritize!
My heartfelt thanks to you, Jan, and WU!
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This is a great post. I love the idea of making a stop doing list. Like all practices (and I believe writing is a practice) the most important thing is figuring out a way to shut out all the noise and WRITE!!
Johanna´s last blog post ..Free Fall
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Brilliant and so sensible! Thanks so much.
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Alright, might have to stop reading Jane’s advice altogether! ;)
http://www.theskyinsideyou.com
Marco´s last blog post ..Two New Poems!
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Oh I really really like this post. Thank you. I’m going to go cross some things off my list and never put them back on.
Petrea Burchard´s last blog post ..Seeing Red
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Thank you, Jane.
Patti
Patricia Yager Delagrange´s last blog post ..For Those No Longer With Us
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Jane,
All good tips and the perfect time to post them. Although I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I constantly set (and re-set) my list of goals and you’ve given me some good ideas.
Setting priorities and focusing on what’s most important to us is crucial if we’re going to be productive. We writers walk a fine line. We need to devote quality time to our writing projects, we need to spend time networking/marketing in order to promote our writing and we need to have a life. Here’s to a new year where we all figure out the best way to accomplish that!
Patricia Gligor´s last blog post ..The Present
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Awesome, these make perfect sense, especially the idea that I should stop doing some things, either because they suck up my time or because I am never going to get good at them anyway! (I can think of a number of those things!!). I cannot wait for a time when i do not have to ‘skip to number three’.. thank you .. c
cecilia gunther´s last blog post ..Dawn on Christmas Day. Hold the beam Scottie!
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I’m not into cloning. No students to enslave though I have bunny in the closet I’m teaching to type. I had a tortoise before but I hope the bunny might turn out to be faster.
But I think my best bet at the moment would be growing another arm, and cutting of my ears and poking out one eye. Distractions can create havoc with a good piece of productivity.
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What a valuable post! As a writer/educator, I often struggle with trying to fit all of the tasks you mentioned into my days. Five years ago, I came to the same conclusion about paying for housecleaning services, which has propelled my writing forward. Now I’m trying to tame the marketing dragon. I will definitely apply your suggestions.
JoDee Luna´s last blog post ..My Best Christmas Gifts
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Wow…great post. When I get up and speak about how to get published, inevitably I am asked the very same question. Or I’m asked how many hours a day I spend on promotion. I can’t even quantify it. The platform building and promotion and social networking are all part of my day on so many levels. And I have four blogs… That said, I am at the point where I am definitely evaluating what not to do anymore. With a book coming out this year, that’s a hard choice. Thanks for this helpful post, Jane. I’ll be thinking about it as I make decisions for myself, and I’ll probably be quoting you and your tips the next time I speak.
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I’m just starting out, but you can be sure this list will be kept close at hand. The wisdom I’m gathering from you and other established authors is like treasure.
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I echo what others here have said – good advice. In keeping with which, I only skimmed some of it! Hee, hee, hee! Thanks for some grounding.
Cindy McGean´s last blog post ..Unraveling the Tapestry – The Trouble With Endings
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Great list of advice, Jane. I’ve spent the past year learning all I can about writing and writing as much as possible. I’m burned out on the writing blogs. Most of them say the same things over and over. Others come up with new ideas more often than not. I’ve been getting very selective the past couple of months as to what I subscribe to.
I have to schedule blog reading and tweeting. The guilt was too much to take when I got behind in either activity. Instead of reading every blog everyday they post, I’ll read once a week and leave a nice comment and tweet it. More than that sucks so much time from my writing. No more guilt!
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Great advice. I actually have done exactly what you suggest and have put aside some activities in favor of others.
Unfortunately, the activity I have put aside is hunting down paying writing assignments, which is, ahem, a little hard on the bottom line.
But, I’m focusing on my blog and my book.
Hope´s last blog post ..Boddhisatva or What? S. Covey’s Habit #2, Continued
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I think it may also be a factor of how strong willed you are as a person, and whether the person has the knowledge of being able to achieve more than he/she does already, to break it up into steps and work on it. I wanna add that mind mapping can really enhance everything in your life, including improving your time effectiveness. Map out your life plan, your activities, your brainstorms, everything. There’s so much on this topic, but it’ll enhance your life. There are many online tools for this, bubbl, mindmaester, but I personally use http://www.scatterbrain.nl, because it’s too easy in use.
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Thanks for this practical article.
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Great advice. I think more than anything it comes down to personal discipline and time management. You make time for the things that you want and need to do. Your list gives a few concrete ways that you can achieve this. Good stuff!
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Well, now I’ve read this post twice. I’m not wasting my time because it’s very relevant for me and sometimes it takes a while for things to soak into my head. Time is very precious to a writer, and this post shows me ways to help me use mine better. Thanks, Jane.
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wonderful post, thanks for sharing!
barbara´s last blog post ..Happy New Year!
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I felt a little silly reading this post. I mean all those things are so obvious and seem to be easy to implement. Yet I haven’t even thought about them!
I have a full time job that I love (and that I need in order to pay for the Internet) so I really don’t have much time left for writing and furthering my career in that field. I already limited my involvement outside of the online writing community and cut back on the Facebook games – those are things I did to pass time and can live without. Next will probably be cutting back on TV shows I enjoy, but am not obsessed with. We’ll see how that works. Keep your fingers crossed?
Jane Rutherford´s last blog post ..The Only Thing you Really Need to Know about being Productive
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[...] http://writerunboxed.com/2011/12/23/the-secret-to-finding-the-time-to-write-market-promote-and-still… Filed Under: advice [...]
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Your excellent post has been really helpful at the start of a new writing year, especially the point about putting an end to some activities. Thank you.
Chris Stovell´s last blog post ..Through A Glass Darkly
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It’s true. It works. I gave up Fantasy football, hired a maid, deleted half the blogs I subscribed to, and finally enlisted a professional formatter for my last novel. Phew. Now I can write again, read posts that interest me, and actually have time left over to respond.
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[...] I am woefully behind on a number of things, but I’m going to try very hard to take some of Jane Friedman’s advice in 2012 and be less hard on myself: Say good-bye to guilt and [...]
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