Writer Unboxed

Despite the tomes that have been written on the subject, querying continues to be one of the biggest hurdles new writers face. And there’s a lot of conflicting advice out there, which can make things more confusing.

I’ve successfully survived the query-go-round twice, and I thought I’d take a moment to share what I’ve learned. And for reasons that I can neither fathom nor justify (and which fuel my growing suspicion that I was dropped on my head as a baby – probably more than once), I’ve decided to share those perspectives in verse. Although some of these insights may not be new, I bet this is the first time they were delivered to you in the form of a poem!

Ahem…

The challenge of writing a query
is a task that most authors find dreary.
So strong does it vex,
they become nervous wrecks,
and may even become rather teary.

From writing a lim’rick or two,
I can quickly see one thing that’s true:
It will take me less time
if I don’t have to rhyme,
so I’m now going to switch to haiku.

Ah, this is better.
Now I do not have to rhyme;
only have to count.

For those who don’t know
how haiku works, it’s like this:
five, seven, then five.

(Syllables, that is.
But you probably got that.)
So, on with my post…

First things first

First you must accept:
there ain’t any concrete rules
for this query thing.

Instead, some pointers
that most likely will apply
to your own query:
 

Show why you chose them.
Make the agent see you put
thought into your choice.

Personalize it
if it’s at all possible:
“I met you at {blank}…”

Or, “{Author’s Name} said
I should contact you about
my novel {TITLE}…”

But if you cannot
drop a name or past meeting,
fear not; don’t despair.

Tell them why you think
they would be a good choice for
repping your new book:

Cite their history
of selling similar books
in the same genre,

or some other fact
that shows you did your homework
on whom to query.

Okay, on to the story

Noah built an ark.
You should show the agent that
you can build one, too.

(Arc, that is, not ark.
But you probably got that.)
So, back to your arc…

Don’t just list the facts.
Plot points aren’t enough to show
your dramatic arc.

Here’s a simple trick
(or formula, if you will)
for showing your arc.

Try this three-part form
for a hypothetical
character named Sue:

Sue has a problem
that looks like it will be hard
for her to resolve.

Uh oh – what is this?
Sue has another problem,
bigger than the last.

Now we’re wondering
how on earth Sue will get past
all these obstacles.

But look out – here comes
a problem that’s bigger than
either of those two!

Holy crap – she’s screwed.
How will Sue sort out this mess?
It keeps getting worse.

And there is the key:
Keep making the conflict build.
Take us to the edge.

Then, just let us hang.
Make the agent wonder how
Sue will conquer this.

Characters we can care about

Okay, there’s your arc.
But you still need to ensure
we care about Sue.

Problems aren’t enough
to make agents care about
your protagonist.

Show what makes them tick.
What’s unique or compelling
about their world view?

While keeping it brief,
take the time to flesh them out:
a sentence or two.

Now let’s talk about you

Time for your bio!
If you have some credentials,
list them briefly here.

Short stories are great:
if you’ve published some, it shows
you can play the game.

Or show them why you’re
qualified to write about
your novel’s topic(s).

But don’t sweat this part.
If you don’t have a “platform,”
or publishing creds,

all is not yet lost.
Maybe you can insert some
factoid that captures

something quirky or
unusual about your
personality.

When in doubt, stay brief.
No need to obsess, but do
give this your best shot.

The biggie that so many writers miss

Here’s the part that most
writers seem to miss out on:
the writing itself.

Yeah, it’s just a note,
and it isn’t fun to write.
But that’s no excuse

for not making sure
your note really shows them that
you can freaking WRITE.

Think about this, please:
You can tell almost at once
when someone writes well.

Good writing stands out.
Even in a business note,
you can show your skill.

Many writers don’t
take the opportunity
to make their note sing.

Don’t be like Dragnet.
“Just the facts, ma’am” may have worked
for Joe Friday, but

you can do better.
Try to capture your book’s tone
in the note you write.

And give them a sense
of your personality.
Just remember this:

Your query’s the first
example of your writing
that an agent sees.

Make it good writing.
Trust me, this will help you stand
out from the slush pile.

Some basic housekeeping

Your query should state
your book’s word count (rounded off).
Oh, and your TITLE.

Also show them how
your book should be positioned
in the marketplace:

State your genre, or
list some authors whose readers
would enjoy your work.

Wrap it up, but don’t grovel

At the end, don’t beg.
Offer them your manuscript,
thank them for their time.

But avoid using
gushy language in this part.
Act professional,

not obsequious.
Confidence attracts us more
than groveling does.

One more suggestion…

Include an excerpt
from your novel’s opening
underneath your note.

I know, some will say
that’s a risky move, but I
have found that it works -

IF (and this is key)
you’ve got a grabby first page.
That’s when this can work.

But if you do not
have a grabby opening,
you have three choices:

Insert what you’ve got.
Hope and pray the agent sees
your book’s potential.

Write a new first page.
Posts like this and this have shown
great examples of

other writers whose
first pages succeeded in
hooking their readers.

Ignore this advice.
Wait for them to request your
book (in part, or whole).

But to me that is
a missed opportunity
to show you can write.

A haiku recap

Okay, let’s recap:
Make your query personal.
Show you know the game.

Now it’s story time:
Flesh out your protagonist.
Show you’ve built an arc.

Give them what they need:
Stuff like title, word-count, and
target audience.

Tell them who you are.
If not published, at least show
you are interesting.

(Or int’resting, if
you’re inclined to pronounce it
with four syllables)

Thank them for their time,
and insert an excerpt IF
your opening grabs.

And throughout it all
make the writing really sing.
Good writing stands out.

I hope you find this helpful, and I welcome your feedback. Extra points for replying in verse! 

Thanks for reading!

Parchment background by deviantArt’s sinnedaria

Mini Buddha photo by Luna Jade

Author of the novel ME AGAIN, published by Five Star/Gale, Keith Cronin is a corporate speechwriter and professional rock drummer who has performed and recorded with artists including Bruce Springsteen, Clarence Clemons, and Pat Travers. Keith's fiction has appeared in Carve Magazine, Amarillo Bay, The Scruffy Dog Review, Zinos, and a University of Phoenix management course. A native of South Florida, Keith spends his free time serenading local ducks and squirrels with his ukulele.

Keith Cronin

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