I wrote a book because I didn’t have enough to do
Guest on Jul 24 2010 | Filed under: Humor, Inspirations
Kath here. Please welcome comedian and writer Karen Bergreen to Writer Unboxed. Karen’s debut novel Following Polly is a screamingly funny murder mystery. No lie, I nearly had to read this in the bathroom, it was pee-your-pants funny. Enjoy her guest post with us today and make sure you’re not drinking anything when you read it, or you’ll need a new monitor. Seriously.
Some people can point to a chair in their house or their local Starbucks and claim that’s where my Vampires Who Knit was written in its entirety.
I am not that person.
Some people when asked how they found time to discipline themselves to write a novel are quick to respond, “every morning I wake up at 5:15, and after a beautiful session of breastfeeding the twins, baking a bread, and putting the family finances in order I commit to five hours of solitary novel writing. I don’t get up. I even bought myself a pamper.”
I am not that person.
Some people say they knew they had to be a novelist before they learned to read.
I am not that person.
Don’t get me wrong. This was not a lark. Writing a novel is serious work, but the gravitas attached to the process can be overwhelming. Especially for a casual Type B+ person with two kids and a stand up comedy career.
The fact is that I love to read fiction. I love Gustave Flaubert, Phillip Roth, the shopaholic lady—to name a few. And when it was determined that my children needed me more than did a multitude of comedy audiences, I reorganized my creative energy. My husband, under the false impression (I may have created this) that a novel would add substantially to the family purse, heartily agreed.
But not much has changed. I can’t sit at the same desk, whether it is a Stickley or at Starbucks for hours and hours—that’s why I left the corporate world. Instead of saying today is the day I write my novel, I say, “today is the day I work on the Bloomingdales shoplifting scene or the eccentric dietary habits of Mona the mean boss.”
It’s less big that way. I don’t always write at a desk—or even a table. I don’t always use the computer. In fact my novel is a patchwork of scenes scribbled on the subway, in comedy clubs or waiting to pick my son up from kindergarten. Every so often I string the patchwork together and I surprise myself with a chunk of, dare I say, a novel.
Please visit me at my website: www.karenbergreen.com
My book is called Following Polly.
It is theoretically at most bookstores and most definitely on Amazon.com.
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Instead of saying today is the day I write my novel, I say, “today is the day I work on the Bloomingdales shoplifting scene or the eccentric dietary habits of Mona the mean boss.”
I really like this. Like your PW review too:
Thanks for being with us today, Karen!
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Selling books, Todd Rutherford. Todd Rutherford said: I wrote a book because I didn’t have enough to do http://bit.ly/cLshLi [...]
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I also have to view things in terms of “less big”, which is why I’m not one of those authors who has a set word count or page count goal per day. I have to finish a scene once I start it, whether that be half a page or ten pages. That’s my goal for the day: one scene. If I get that done and feel I can start (and finish) another the same day, I do. If not, I don’t. But if I look any further ahead, as in, “holy stinkbug, how am I ever gonna fill a novel’s-worth of pages on this”… yeah, that’s counterproductive, to say the least.
Love this post. Hope you visit again soon, and I’ll be sure to get my hands on a copy of FOLLOWING POLLY.
Lydia Sharp´s last blog post ..What Form Rejection Means To Me – An Uncontest Entry- Essay Thing
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Two comments:
1)Chuckle
2)Like the way you have integrated family & writing–it’s all about priorities!
Patricia
http://pmpoetwriter.blogspot.com/
P-A-McGoldrick´s last blog post ..BACK TO THE MOVIES–INCEPTION
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I don’t consider myself a writer. Or rather, I do, but only in my fantasy world in which I am also a sought after public speaker and world-renowned authority. I’m often considered for ambassadorial positions and have been solicited by the CIA to be a covert operative as well.
In the other world, the one we inhabit together, the amazing plot I came up with on the treadmill exhausts itself in a mere 2000 words and leaves me wondering what was so exciting about it in the first place.
It makes conversations about writing difficult—this cognitive dissidence—because I have to deny I’m a writer around other writers.
I enjoy reading about real authors though; it provides fuel for imaginary conversations with my pretended peers. Karen and I are having lunch this week as a matter of fact, and I’ll be sure to ask her opinion of my latest plot twist.
Siddhartha´s last blog post ..Write- Talk- Think
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I’m a HUGE fan of less big, probably because I’m too much the other way most of the time. ;-)
Thank you. I enjoyed this and look forward to reading your book.
Jan O’Hara´s last blog post ..Announcement-Announcement-Icebox Behemoth
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That’s very funny. There’s a dollar to be made by making and then selling faux gold, plastic plaques to adhesive to chairs in Starbucks, “In this chair in 2008, Karen Bergreen penned the famous novel “Following Polly.” $7.95 plus shipping and handling?
david seth´s last blog post ..Haiku
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Love the idea of breaking things up into “less big” chunks. I think “overwhelming” is probably one of the most common words used when describing what it’s like to write a novel, or edit a novel, or think up a novel. So “less big” makes perfect sense.
Also, LOL: “My husband, under the false impression (I may have created this) that a novel would add substantially to the family purse, heartily agreed.”
Thanks for a great post and some good laughs!
Kristan´s last blog post ..Good tidings
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I like the idea of breaking your writing up into “scenes”. Just thinking that way does seem to relieve the need to hold my breath as I think about what to write next.
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Oh, great, ANOTHER book I have to read! I love “funny” and promise I’ll read it. But sheesh! How can there be so many great books out there, and none of them mine?
Congratulations on the career shift, Ms. Bergreen. Honestly, the world can never have too many funny books.
Valerie´s last blog post ..Projecting Happiness
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Love the idea of ‘less big’ . . . and have always hated those writers whose lives are so organised they write 2000 words at 6AM before eating their muesli. This is the most acceptable, most realistic post I’ve read for a while and validates my own chaotic existence. Big thank you’s.
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You know adults who “pamper” it? That is way too serious.
Thanks for the breakdown. It seems like a more doable perspective them trying to force out 1500 words a day or whatever one’s goal may be.
Moe´s last blog post ..The Perfect Writing Prompt
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I echo Therese. I love your idea of sitting down to work on a particular concept rather than saying, I’m going to sit down and write my novel. This is great for myriad reasons. For me, it’s fantastic bc as a freelance writer, I am used to short projects which have a defined beginning, middle and end. I find an interview subject (s), I interview the subjet (s), I put the pieces together, write a draft, write a second draft (or more), and turn the piece in. There are checklists of things to do and accomplish. Writing a novel is a “never-ending” project. Your method allows for checklists which allows for the feeling of accomplishment. Bravo on a great book and a great tip for would-be novelists.
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I can relate. There are those who have disipline and lots of time to sit and write. But there are others whose day is so chaotic and the schedule widely varies day to day that we welcome any time to be able to write no matter where we are. I for one have written in many places, slowly making my way into the world of published works. In addition, I sometimes think it’s better to write in several different locations for the simple fact that something might catch your eye that will inspire an idea into the story.
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