Best Advice: Have More Fun (Stop Worrying and Obeying)
Jane Friedman on Jun 25 2010 | Filed under: Inspirations
We’re all taking ourselves too damn seriously.
What do I mean by this?
I mean that we’re so focused on …
• Being as productive as possible
• Crafting the best manuscript possible
• Building the best platform possible
• Appearing as professional as possible
… that we lose sight of who we really are and instead try to follow every commandment that comes along, and behave in a way that will be acceptable to whomever we think is watching and judging.
What’s truly paradoxical is that many commandments insist that you execute them in the most natural, authentic, and committed way possible. What a Catch-22! We must voluntarily and naturally do something we’ve been commanded to do!
It’s why (in my more humorous moods) I tell people that the best way to get published is to stop caring about getting published.
When you strive so hard and for so long, the whole reason you started writing in the first place—the real joy and motivation for it—gets completely lost. You’re so focused on the goal that you’ve forgotten the journey. You’ve forgotten to sing and dance, which is the secret of the wonderful and successful writer.
Yes, this is all very Zen. But I can’t think of a better philosophy for the writers seeking the best advice. You must, Joseph Campbell style, uncover the bliss in your writing life.
Unfortunately, most advice the experts offer (that includes me!) doesn’t help you take more joy. (Quite the contrary.) But joy is the one thing you have probably lost along the way, and didn’t realize was lost in the first place.
Go find it, and celebrate it daily.
Photo courtesy Flickr’s Waponi
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Colleen Turner
That’s a breath of fresh air, Jane! More singing and dancing coming your way!
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Well, you certainly made your point by cussing in the first sentence. Haha. Thanks for the much-needed moment of freedom. :)
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This is so true, and the perfect advice with which to start a weekend. Thank you, Jane!
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I’m actually breathing easier after reading this post.
Thank you for reminding me why I started all this in the first place–because I love to write, and I love history, and I love to tell stories!
Erika Robuck´s last blog post ..Interview: Emily Mandel
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I do think this is one of the hardest things to do. But I also agree that it’s what’s going to make writers the most successful. It’s kind of like how in high school, the girl that didn’t care about getting a boyfriend is the one who got one first; because she was being natural, herself, and that’s what boys (and agents/editors!) fall in love with.
Thanks for the reminder!
Kristan´s last blog post ..Colorado (Day 2 of 4)
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When I started to focus more on my writing, I realized that I had truly found the place where I wanted to be. However, I also knew that I needed to step back from the process and demands of writing as you have discussed today.
I adopted a strategy that works for me–Monday!
I have designated Monday as a time for me! It is a decision that has been helpful, offering some release, freedom and perspective. Just this brief focus time adds to my creativity and to my life, I am convinced.
It was invaluable this month as I am participating in the 30-Day Blog Challenge. a came in This month I blogged about it. Here is a link if you wish to read more at http://preview.tinyurl.com/37fb934.
Patricia Anne McGoldrick´s last blog post ..JUNE 13 FATHER’S DAY COMING SEE JUNE 12 POST!
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I think we’re not focusing on the “as possible” part of things — instead, we’re turning them into “impossible”. :)
I couldn’t have asked for a better pick-me-up than this today. Joy and bliss are definitely on today’s menu now.
Donna Cummings´s last blog post ..Baby You Can Drive My Car
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Sage advice. It’s great timing for me to be reminded of this. It applies to more that writing. I started doing what I do because I enjoyed it. Time to rediscover the bliss.
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What perfect advice as summer begins: let’s let our hair down, go barefoot, and really get in and do what we came to do. Freely, without censorship. Thx, Jane, for always be the gift of sensibility.
Debra Marrs´s last blog post ..STOP Procrastinating Tip #2 – Eat A Frog Every Morning!
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Yay, Jane–
The further along this writing path I get, and the busier I become, the more I need this advice and need to remember it! I have SO many goals this summer, but one is definitely to remember that it’s summer, that my son is home from school, that it’s warm and bright outside and in, and that there has to be vacationy-down time.
Here’s to skirts that twirl! :)
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How funny! Today’s MFA Confidential post is sort of related!
http://blog.writersdigest.com/mfaconfidential/5+For+Friday+4+Favorite+Quotes+And+A+Story.aspx
Kristan´s last blog post ..Colorado (Day 2 of 4)
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I posted something yesterday on the same theme.
http://authorguy.wordpress.com/
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Great advice and at the right time, too. I just received my first proof copy and the smidgens of space in between words is driving me crazy. I’ve expanded and condensed, proofread,and edited trying to get to perfection. Your advice helped me to ‘step back’ and look at the big picture.
I think I’ll spend most of the weekend creating the baby shower invitations for my son and daughter-in-law. The book will turn out just fine. I’ll make the necessary adjustments and remember not to over-analyze. :)
Thanks,
Kim
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You know what? This doesn’t just apply to writing. I’m seeing this not only in my work but in my life. Thanks for reminding me that I should ENJOY what I’m doing (the good stuff) and not worry about how it’s going to turn out.
Elizabeth West´s last blog post ..Lessons from a Master: Relentless by Dean Koontz
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Great advice. So much so, that I think I’ll take a writing break and practice some banjo! Thanks!
Tracy Farr´s last blog post ..Oh no, it’s another Bloggy Friday
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Important message from the heart, Jane. I’ve spread the word joyfully :)
Molly Swoboda´s last blog post ..Underneath It All: The Hearts & Souls of Writer(ly) Conventions
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The more advice I read, the more I worry. But I try to keep the worry and work of being published separate from the joy of writing. It’s nice to hear this from you. Though the prospects of publishing are bleaker than ever for new writers, if it’s what we love we have to keep trying.
Theresa Milstein´s last blog post ..Swallowing Critique
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This is such great advice, and so very true! Even after publication, it’s easy to lose the joy because writing is now a real ‘job’! But it’s always essential to remember exactly why it has always been my dream job!
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Ahhhhh. Love it. I do see so many people wrapped around the axle about all the Rules and Commandments and Don’ts and Nevers. This is a great reminder not to focus on all that. Relax!
Jael´s last blog post ..dining deal: hearth’s cucina povera
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Wow, Jane! You absolutely nailed what to me is the best Writer’s Secret ever! It truly is all about our journey as writers & the joy that keeps us filling page after page after page! Thank u for the powerful reminder!
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That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. I’ve been reading Writer Unboxed for a while, and while all the advice is great, it’s a bit overwhelming! I wonder, frequently, “Why can’t we just write our hearts out–write what we want, about what we want, and let the rest fall into place?” I mean, sure, there are definitely pieces of advice that are helpful and can be incorporated into a novel to improve it, but overall the core of it (your idea, thoughts, characters, plot) is going to be YOU.
Sure, you can try to follow the latest trends, be most marketable, but to me, that’s like trying to be someone you’re not.
That’s why this post is going to be linked on my own blog!
Cassandra´s last blog post ..Taking Writerly Advice
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You are absolutely right about this, Jane. I always have to remind myself to enjoy the journey. I enjoy writing my joy moments in my journal each evening; I highly recommend it to all writers. Thanks for such a great post.
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So nice to hear that my boat is not as lonely as I once thought it was. Guess I need to get out of my room and meet other passengers.
On that note–I can’t even begin to imagine the time loss spent combing my current manuscript for all too “edgy” pieces or playing “let me be the reader”.
Writing is a difficult endeavor when you are trying to create the perception of “what is purported to be right verse being yourself.
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[...] With certain technologies, though, sometimes I wish I had jumped sooner rather than later. Twitter is a perfect example. I signed up for an account and then forgot about it. Then as Twittering became more integrated into every day jargon, I felt the urge to become more active with my account, so I downloaded the Twitter app for my IPod Touch. This led me to finding the nifty feature for finding tweets I might be interested, which led to following a couple of writing magazines. One of those magazines led to a Writer Unboxed blog entry entitled “Best Advice: Have More Fun (Stop Worrying and Obeying).” [...]
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Oh I love this! Thanks for the reminder. It is rough to get all caught up in the haze of what is appropriate when pursuing publication, but your are right on target gal. Thanks a million!
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Caring enough but not too much is always the challenge – in love, with kids, and in writing. Thanks for this.
Jan O’Hara´s last blog post ..Urban Fantasy – Alberta-Style
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I tell ya the funniest thing, and I can’t explain why it happens, only that it universally does. Often writers come to me, stymied. They know they’re floundering, and can’t quite put a finger on it. As I teach them the elements of great writing, and they learn the skills that then remain in their toolboxes to use at any time, the most amazing thing happens–it cracks back open creativity. Inspiration springs anew. And joy returns.
All to say I think you can get back to the joy of writing via many avenues!
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So true!
Sometimes we need to shake everything off and start having FUN again. Isn’t that why we’re writing?
Tessa Conte´s last blog post ..How To Build a World (otherwise known as Research) Part 1
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This reminds me of how I was growing disillusioned with my writing until someone offered a fresh perspective on my first novel and I remembered why I did it in the first place. Then I realized I had confused “publishing” with “writing.” Happy now.
Scott Nicholson
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I was eating at Jimmy Johns today and there was a poster that said. “Don’t be afraid to try new things. Remember it was a lone amateur who built the Ark. A team of professionals built the Titanic.”
I immediately thought of your blog post! I’m planning to be brave and reckless tomorrow without a thought to the team of experts yelling in my ears.
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All good points and great comments. However, I hope I’m not alone when I say that some of us ARE having fun. Anyone with me? Anyone?
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Yes, Jane. The fun part is the best part. Following a character or a storyline as they jump off the page and head out, leaving my outline behind is a kick-in-the-pants adventure.
Yes, Patricia, I’m having fun too.
I plan to have fun sharing this post.
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Maybe publishing is packaging; we want our gift to look nice, but what really matters is what’s inside.
Thank you for your gift of wisdom.
John Overman´s last blog post ..Beyond Form- Singing and Writing
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The post confirms that you are a realist, Jane. Most writers know we can’t jump through all the hoops, so we pick and choose the ones we think we can handle.
But — it’s so refreshing to have someone in the publishing industry come out and say ‘remember to have some fun along the way’ or don’t forget to have a life.
Thanks for being human.
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Patricia and Deborah — I’m having fun, too! Maybe it’s a northern CA thing? What are they putting in our water?
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fabulous advice and just what i needed to be reminded of today. thank you.
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Brings me back to a question floating around twitter last week: what books have had the most impact on you?
Mine–Youngblood Hawke by H. Hesse. The main character is a writer who lives in the mountains and knows of no rule to obey, so he simply writes. And of course becomes a phenomenal success once discovered (I forget how that happened, perhaps a hiking publisher wandered by his cabin?)
Have always remembered that book and have tried to create my own mountain without rules. Until I entered twitter 2 weeks ago.
So thank you Jane for timely reminder to head back to my mountain. Your post is a wonderful gift.
Thank you. Allie back on the mountain.
Allie Dillon´s last blog post ..True Grit
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Don’t worry, Jane. I’ve been ignoring your advice for ages now.
But it’s nice to know I have your permission.
:)
Simon L.´s last blog post ..On becoming a logodaedalus
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What a relief someone feels this way. It’s tiring to always read that as writers we must do this, and we must do that. It’s overwhelming to a new writer like myself because I feel like I get batted out before I reach first base. Thanks for posting this!
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What a great post. This changes my goal for today! Thank you.
Julie Musil´s last blog post ..A Carnival- Clever Bloggers- and Summer Schedules
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You are so right! I almost lost it there for a minute and I found myself floundering, unable to write like I had been. But I stopped and calmed down and I think I’ve found my groove, so to speak. So thanks for the reminder!
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Absolutely! And it’s not just about writing, it about telling stories, because isn’t that what we really do? Somehow, we’ve become so wrapped up in “getting it right,” we forget the art of story-telling.
Thanks, Jane!
Teresa Frohock´s last blog post ..One Writer’s Journey- From Nowhere to Somewhere- But Not Quite There Yet
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Always trying to remember this. Although I’m a beginner writer, I acted for 20 years and forgot about the fun along the way. I’m sure not to forget it this time! Thanks for reminding me again. :)
Meagan Lopez´s last blog post ..Janet Jackson – AND Mag
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Fun to read all these responses!
Deborah Taylor French–yes, it was fun to read–I think it’s all about perspective!
Ironically, I blog at http://pmpoetwriter.blogspot.com/ and am just finishing participation in the 30-day Blog Challenge. Somehow, the feed link below is stuck on Fathers Day–if anyone knows how to fix this situation, I would be so appreciative to learn how to correct it. Some of the fun in blogging is being challenged! LOL
Patricia Anne McGoldrick´s last blog post ..JUNE 13 FATHERS DAY COMING SEE JUNE 12 POST-
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[...] in mind fairly regularly. (And yesterday was one of those days I really needed to keep it in mind!) Have More Fun is advice you can’t get enough of in my opinion. Your joy is the reverse osmosis filter for [...]
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