Blind Spot
Kathleen Bolton on Apr 13 2009 | Filed under: CRAFT
Currently I am furiously working on book two of the misadventures of the President of the United State’s teenaged daughter, and despite my best efforts, I keep making the same avoidable writer mistakes. It’s driving me nuts.
My bugaboo? 1) Overuse of the word really, and 2) fragments. Lots of fragments. Like, so many fragments, I’m starting to annoy myself. Which is easily done. But, yanno. Enough is, uh, enough.
Even though I’d had gentle editorial feedback and my own critical eye pointing these failings out, I re-read the ARC of CONFESSIONS OF A FIRST DAUGHTER, and damnabit, there’s that word really again. Followed by an unnecessary fragment.
I guess it’s my writerly blind spot.
I’m three chapters into the draft of the second book, and I did a search for the word really. Fifteen. FIFTEEN. Broken sentences all over the place. Clearly, I’m heading down the same road of annoyance with myself.
This morning I took out a black sharpie and wrote the following on an index card:
NO MORE REALLY. REALLY.
ONLY 5 FRAGMENTS PER 200 WORDS ALLOWED
I taped the card to the computer speaker in eyeline view of the monitor screen. I reeeeally hope it helps.
What are your writerly blind spots? Have you found a way to root them out? Do you obsess over them like I do mine?
Image by Xivanari.
Kathleen Bolton
Therese Walsh
Ann Aguirre
Porter Anderson
Brunonia Barry
Carleen Brice
Keith Cronin
Anna Elliott
Jane Friedman
Donald Maass
Juliet Marillier
Sophie Masson
Jael McHenry
Jan O'Hara
Debbie Ohi
Barbara O'Neal
Crystal Patriarche
Ray Rhamey
M.J. Rose
Chuck Sambuchino
John Vorhaus
Yuvi Zalkow
Sharon Bially
Anne Greenwood Brown
Tracy Hahn-Burkett
Suzannah Windsor Freeman
Kristan Hoffman
Jeanne Kisacky
Erika Robuck
Lydia Sharp
My problem area seems to be repeating words and using trite tags. I’ve worked hard on eradicating both issues. You’ll succeed, too, Kath. Really. ;-)
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“Just.” That’s a word I have to edit out ALL THE TIME, and it’s annoying.
Also making character smile a lot. Granted, I think it’s because I smile a lot in response to things. But still, it gets redundant.
I’m sure there are others, but I’ll limit it to 2 for now. No need to beat myself up too bad, eh? :P
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I have a problem with the smiles too, Kristan. I also have “eye” issues wherein the character is always raising a brow or something. Totally bugs.
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Kath, what do you mean by fragmented/broken sentences? i ask because when i am writing dialogue, people interrupt each other or are cut off, creating fragments. Is this what you mean? t
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I had the same fragment problem in a YA 1st person POV novel. I finally had to take a red pen and strike out about 75% of the damned fragments. Too much of a good thing. Sigh. Good luck!
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thea, it’s the narrative stuff like, “I rode my bike to the 7-ll. Which was in a bad neighborhood.” I don’t worry about fragments in dialogue if it’s part of the character’s way of speaking.
LJ, yes, I’m particularly susceptable to fragments when writing a contempory. Don’t know why that is, yet.
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Sentences with this structure.
VERBing ADVERBly, [character] VERBed ….
Good in moderation, but it gets really annoying when half of my sentences end up like that.
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Oh, thanks for this post! Nice to know I’m not alone in those writerly blind spots! Unless I watch myself I tend to modify everything with “slightly” or “briefly.” And then there are those trite phrases that Terese mentioned–like wanting to say “a chill slid down her spine” every time a character is afraid. It does get easier. I can usually catch myself before I actually type the words, now. You’ll get there!
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i’m a bit torn about this. on the one hand, i know what you’re saying about mistakes that, as a writer writing their second book, i feel i shouldn’t make any more. for example, sentences like this ‘as she sat down, she poured herself a drink’.
but on the other hand, i think that writers are better off not editing themselves at all in the first draft, and if that means overusing passive voice (another of my common errors) then so be it. it can be edited out later and it’s better to keep moving forward and getting the first draft down on paper without worrying about what errors i’m making. so is it really making a mistake? or is it just first draft stuff that will be ironed out in the 2nd or 3rd draft?
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I have similar issues with “actually”
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Actually, I just really enjoyed reading this post. Which is a compliment to you. :)
My writing, as you know, Kath, is limited to press releases and news feature stories. Still, I can always recognize my writing style — I fall back on certain sentence structures and organizational tactics. It’s cool to realize that everyone has their little writerly habits. And they’re really fun to read about. Really.
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Michelle, ma belle! How’s Mr. Schmoochy and the Little ‘Un? Miss ya lots here!
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