PhotobucketLast month I blogged about the rapidly approaching deadline for my novel, Heart’s Blood, and what strategies I would use to get the ms completed on time and to my satisfaction. I’ll be sharing the process here over three successive posts, and coming back to it in January when I get my editor’s report.

By sticking to my five point plan, I finished the last chapter on September 21. The word count was 166,500, which is 6,500 over Penguin’s maximum. I now have a couple of months to revise and polish. As mentioned previously, this is not a first draft. My super-planner approach means the earlier parts of the novel have already had extensive revision.

This week I’m doing a rapid trawl through the ms to make some quick fixes I already know need doing. Then I’ll give the ms to some people are going to read it next week, while I’m interstate visiting my new granddaughter. I’ll be asking my beta readers for feedback on continuity, consistency, logic, pace, repetition, and anything else that may occur to them. They know I don’t have time to make any big structural changes, nor would I want to at this stage. Three of the beta readers have been following the progress of the novel in regular writers’ group meetings, and have already had considerable input. The other two haven’t read any of it yet. As with all critical feedback, I’ll listen but if the advice conflicts with my gut feeling I may not make the change.

One obvious task is to cut at least 6,500 words. If I can lose more, so much the better, as that will provide leeway when I get the editorial report – chances are the editors will want extra scenes. They usually do. All of these will help:

1. Cutting unnecessary speech tags

2. Pruning descriptive passages

3. Getting rid of repetition (I’ve been working on this book a while, with a certain amount of stop and start, and I suspect it’s over-explanatory)

4. Cutting back the protagonist / narrator’s personal musings. More action, less angst!

5. Axing extraneous scenes / dialogue. If it doesn’t add something significant in terms of plot or character development, it goes.

As I re-read the ms, I’m finding entrenched habits in my writing. The most obvious is my tendency to get carried away by the sound and rhythm of a passage and say something not once, but two or three times in different words. Example:

After last night’s revelations, I was drawn to Irial’s notebooks. There was a charm about them, a care in the way illustrations and text had been rendered, that was soothing to the heart.

Now here’s a shorter version:

After last night’s revelations, I was drawn to Irial’s notebooks. There was a charm about them that was soothing to the heart.

In fact I prefer the longer version, which was my original, because I think it expands on the meaning of ‘charm’, explaining that it was the care taken over both illustrations and text that appealed to the narrator, herself a scribe. However, when we’re trying to make the ms shorter without losing too much of its flavour, the shorter version wins hands down. It’s worth noting that earlier in the story we saw one of Irial’s notebooks so we already know they contain meticulous drawings and detailed botanical notes.

There’s a long paragraph in the ms with six or seven of these repetitions in it – right now I’m having trouble cutting it because I love the way it sounds, but I can see it’s self-indulgent. As we get closer to the deadline and the word count remains too high, no doubt I’ll kill more of my darlings. Here’s just part of the para in question:

I saw nothing moving, but I had the sense that someone had stepped back, set down a burden. This garden had always felt like a safe place. It came to me that someone had kept watch over it, someone who had loved all that grew here. Perhaps he had lingered beyond his time, knowing there was a duty to be done, a guard to keep; perhaps, after all, he had seen his son become a man. The unseen ninth in the circle; the invisible presence revered by all. (88 words)

Possible shorter version:

Nothing moved, but I had the sense that someone had stepped back. This garden had always felt safe. Perhaps someone had kept loving watch over it, lingering beyond his time. Perhaps, after all, he had seen his son become a man. The unseen ninth in the circle, revered by all. (50 words)

I still prefer the original (sigh.) Tune in next month for another progress report.

Photo credit:

© Melvin Lee
Dreamstime.com

Juliet Marillier has published more than a dozen novels for adults and young adults. Her works of detailed historical fantasy have been published around the world, and have won numerous awards. Her latest release, Seer of Sevenwaters, is the fifth book in her popular Sevenwaters series but can be read as a stand-alone novel.
Juliet Marillier
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