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	<title>Comments on: Make Your Manuscript Less Bathetic</title>
	<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/</link>
	<description>About the craft and business of genre fiction</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:28:21 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>by: Therese Walsh</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-72211</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 May 2008 12:34:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-72211</guid>
					<description>Welcome, Marian! I think 9 out of 10 good critiques are about authenticity on one level or another. So important.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome, Marian! I think 9 out of 10 good critiques are about authenticity on one level or another. So important.
</p>
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		<title>by: Marian</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-72126</link>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 14:50:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-72126</guid>
					<description>Very good article. I've flagged your blog for further reading. 

My critiquer Jordan has a nice way of indicating when my antagonists have my hero at their mercy and yet leave him alive instead of killing him. If I write, "They wrenched his arms behind his back and one of them hit him in the stomach. The others laughed", Jordan rewrites it in his critique like this :

"They wrenched his arms behind his back and one of them hit him in the stomach *with a dagger*. The others laughed *as they cut his throat*."

Really brings the point home to me.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Very good article. I&#8217;ve flagged your blog for further reading. </p>
<p>My critiquer Jordan has a nice way of indicating when my antagonists have my hero at their mercy and yet leave him alive instead of killing him. If I write, &#8220;They wrenched his arms behind his back and one of them hit him in the stomach. The others laughed&#8221;, Jordan rewrites it in his critique like this :</p>
<p>&#8220;They wrenched his arms behind his back and one of them hit him in the stomach *with a dagger*. The others laughed *as they cut his throat*.&#8221;</p>
<p>Really brings the point home to me.
</p>
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		<title>by: Therese Walsh</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71707</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 May 2008 13:08:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71707</guid>
					<description>Thanks, Kath and DarcKnyt!

RUE is a great one, Karin. (And Allison definitely knows what she's talking about.)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks, Kath and DarcKnyt!</p>
<p>RUE is a great one, Karin. (And Allison definitely knows what she&#8217;s talking about.)
</p>
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		<title>by: Karin Tabke</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71633</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 May 2008 23:37:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71633</guid>
					<description>My friend Allison Brennan drilled, "Refuse the urge to explian," mantra into my soul.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My friend Allison Brennan drilled, &#8220;Refuse the urge to explian,&#8221; mantra into my soul.
</p>
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		<title>by: DarcKnyt</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71576</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 May 2008 15:25:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71576</guid>
					<description>Wow!  You got person input from a rejecting agent!  Despite the rejection part, that's pretty impressive!  Your work must be amazing.

Good luck with the "dream"!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Wow!  You got person input from a rejecting agent!  Despite the rejection part, that&#8217;s pretty impressive!  Your work must be amazing.</p>
<p>Good luck with the &#8220;dream&#8221;!
</p>
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		<title>by: Kathleen Bolton</title>
		<link>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71567</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 May 2008 14:02:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://writerunboxed.com/2008/05/13/make-your-manuscript-less-bathetic/#comment-71567</guid>
					<description>It's rare to get such detailed feedback from a publishing professional.  Rarer still to be open to such feedback and employ it usefully.  

Awesome post, Therese.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s rare to get such detailed feedback from a publishing professional.  Rarer still to be open to such feedback and employ it usefully.  </p>
<p>Awesome post, Therese.
</p>
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