Writerly Friends
March 13th, 2008 by Allison Winn Scotch
Recently, on a writers’ board I frequent, someone posed the question, “Just how important is it to have other writer friends?” The question, in this day and age when so many of us are trapped behind our computers with little to no personal interaction with others, was a good one. And I was surprised at some of the answers. It seems that, like everything in this business, what is one person’s lifejacket is another person’s dead weight.
For me, having other writer friends has proven invaluable. Literally. I can’t quantify how much I’ve benefited from them, and hopefully, how much they’ve prospered thanks to my friendship. My writer friends fed my brain and boosted pitches when I was just starting out on the query wagon, cheered me on through my first novel sale, and now, I’m fortunate enough to have a few friends who are part of an intimate professional circle: we swap notes on our publishers, bemoan some of the behind-the-scenes intricacies and share contact information, if say, one of them knows another author who would be a perfect blurber. One of my writer friends is a few steps ahead of me in the publication process – her second novel is hitting shelves in a few months – so she happily passes down lessons learned and obstacles and advice, knowing that I’m up at the plate in October. And I try to pay it forward in the same way: another good friend just debuted (to much fanfare) her book, and I’ve tried to impart my wisdom to her as she tiptoes her way through the process.
Quite frankly, I’m certain that much of my success has been due to the people I’ve surrounded myself with. I really can’t say that strongly enough. If, for example, I hadn’t joined Freelance Success eons back, I wouldn’t have learned countless, countless tips from fellow writers, and I’d be desperately bored and lonely in office all day. (Which can’t be discounted! Isolation can send you running back to your day job in a heartbeat.)
One comment that really nabbed my interest on the aforementioned forum was that “as certain writers achieve success, they have less and less use for that board and/or forum,” and well, to a certain extent, I think this is true. As your career takes you to different place, it’s inevitable that you’ll outgrow (and be too busy) for tools and resources that you needed in your previous years. This happens in every industry, not just ours. I’m drifting from magazine writing these days, so my input onto the main Freelance Success boards has dwindled. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve lost sight (or touch) with the friends that I’ve made there. I still join in on the American Idol discussion and whenever someone poses a parenting question, I try to relay my own experience. Being a writer is so much more than just writing. Tucking yourself into a hole each day can (and will) make you miserable. So to answer the original question posed on my writers’ board: is it important to have writer friends? I say, “hell yeah.” For the blurbs, the contacts, the advice, the wisdom and the shared experience. But even more so, because these people are there in the trenches with you, and if you’re looking for an outstretched hand to hold as you muddle your way through, you’ll inevitably find one.
So tell me, how important is it for you and your career to have other writer friends?
For me, it’s not just about having a network of writers, but writers who are “on the same page.” People with the same attitude toward improvement, who realize they can always get better and are striving to get there.
The other sort, who just want ego-pats, I can do without, thank you very much.
Great post, Allison. My closest writer pals are also my critique partners. They’re an invaluable source of knowledge and support for me.
Oh lord, I’d have given up my sanity long ago if not for my writer friends. Writing can be such a lonely occupation. Friends make it bearable.
Therese, that pix of the hamsters is too cute!
Not to detract from Allison’s post, but about those hamsters: In my next life, I’m going to have a blog featuring cute animals.
That is one of the cutest pictures I have ever seen. Love, generosity and friends, it says it all. Thanks for posting it.
My critique partners keep me sane and keep me working. I hope they can say the same for me!
i think it’s vital. Non-writers simply don’t understand at best and can be combatant at worst, “Well, it’s just a hobby, I don’t see why it’s causing all this stress. Why don’t you just quit?”
Writers understand other writers, can offer moral support and advice on a host of things.
I’ve found as well, that writing was a jumping off point for some of my closest friendships. It gave us something in common in the early days, giving it a chance to blossom in a deep friendship with folk that i’ve nothing else in common with and wouldn’t have met otherwise.
It’s great to have connections with people who really get the business of writing, and how different it is from a job you can leave at the end of the day and not think about until 8:30 the next morning. My writing friends have been invaluable as my publication date draws closer…I can’t imagine not having this community. Not to mention that if I didn’t know Allison, I’d never have seen that hamster pic…talk about improving the quality of my day
Writer friends provide the specific support that a friend outside of this ‘industry’ simply couldn’t, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t understand.
I couldn’t have done it without my writer pals. The support, guidance, and having people who understand how exciting and frustrating this business can be.
I’d love to start a writers’ room, like the kind that develops the stories for a TV show.
Problem is, most of the people I’d want to include are too busy either with their own writing projects, or worse yet, full time jobs on top of their hobby writing projects.
They don’t have time to fiddle around with story development groups. It’s also different from a writing team that are all coworkers — either the network owns the work, or they share ownership.
One of the first questions posed when I’ve tossed around the idea of starting a writers’ room, is who owns the story then? If it’s one person’s core idea is it fair to give it all away to everyone else? But then if they contribute a lot, that’s fair?
It’s a tricky situation I haven’t been able to solve.