Comments on: Characterize through Experiential Description

by: TMM

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 01:55:23 +0000

Wow. That is so spot on and really got me thinking! Thanks for ‘bringing to light’ something that is so often overlooked. Being a beginner, I think I tend to either over-describe, if I’m excited about the picture I’m painting, or skip over it in ‘minimalist’ fashion. Now that I realize it’s another way to bring the CHARACTERS to life - that gives it all new meaning!

Thanks Ray!

by: jd fox

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:14:24 +0000

The light just came on. Now I must re-read every description I’ve ever written to make sure it’s from my POV character’s eyes and not mine. (Maybe I’ll filter them through another character’s POV just for fun–and practice.)

This is the best piece of advice on writing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks, Ray.

by: m.s. jackson

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 22:37:36 +0000

Wow, it is amazing how each example is quite clearly ‘a different place’, yet actually the same! Thank you for pointing this out, this is a great lesson learned and one I will hopefully learn from in my writing.

by: Jamie Thornton

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:03:12 +0000

Thanks Ray. I’ve found Writer Unboxed to be one of the best writers blogs around for exactly this kind of post. I agree with Anna–I’m going to put “Experiential Description” in big letters up on my wall.

by: Anthony S. Policastro

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:52:41 +0000

Hi Ray,
Great information! Thanks for posting.

by: theamcginnis

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:11:37 +0000

i think we get so bogged down during the creation process that we don’t step back to see how description actually rounds out our characters. We are all affected by our environment - why not our characters. Great smack by 2×4 this morning, WU!!

by: Anna

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:44:29 +0000

Hi Ray, nice interesting post, thanks for sharing this.

BTW, I love the “experiential description”, a very powerful wording!!!

by: Therese Walsh

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:53:51 +0000

I agree with Amy–great post, Ray.

I think you can use this technique even when you have a single POV, because any character can look at something differently (and this can be noticed by the POV character) or can comment on their surroundings. To take Ray’s example and spin it for mine:

Jinny pondered Jeff. Maybe it was her headache–or the lack of her caffeine in her system–but she couldn’t stand the sight of him lounging in that chair anymore, or the way he looked at it like it was his personal Jesus. “Why don’t you get a smoke, Jeff? You look tired. I’ll handle the delivery cart today.” She held her breath and hoped.

He stood and rubbed his hip. “Go ahead, then. Just watch that left wheel. It’s a killer–like everything else about this place.”

Maybe not the best effort in the world, but hopefully you see what I mean.

Thanks again, Ray, for a great post.

by: Amy

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:40:58 +0000

Those are great examples! Thanks for the informative post. It seems like that would be especially important in a story with multiple points of view, but it’s not something I would have thought of. In fact, now that you’ve pointed it out, I can think of several fantasy novels I’ve read recently where this could have been applied to great effect.