Writer Unboxed

I’ve been feeling a little existential lately – probably has something to do with watching my kids grow up and realizing that I’m smack in the middle of full-fledged adulthood, even though I can’t believe that it’s so – and I’ve been dancing around with the question of why I write and why I’ve chosen this career. In many ways, I feel like this career chose me actually: I’d always been a “writer,” and through high school and college, teachers and professors suggested that I pursue it more seriously, but I never gave their comments much credence. After all, who on earth gets paid to write??? It seemed completely absurd. But, as good fortune would have it, after trying on several different professional hats, writing gigs slowly made their way to me, and over time, I was able to build a successful freelance PR and copy writing business that I then transitioned to magazine work. And from there, came fiction.

But I’ve digressed. As I said, I’ve been bouncing around with this question: why do I write? And I haven’t come to a simple answer. I’m not the primary breadwinner in my household, and if I decided to be a full-time mom, that would be okay with my husband, and yet, I choose not to. I choose to write. It is very much a choice. So, then, why?

Part of it, I suppose, is what I just said, I choose to have a career. Being with my kids 24/7, as much as I think they’re rock stars, would make me categorically insane. And writing, especially from home, beats the hell out of 99% of other career choices. I mean, how lucky am I to sit around in my sweats all day and craft characters or magazine articles or what not, and still spend time with my kids, and still be my own boss and plan my day as I see fit? Seriously, I’m so very lucky. So yes, there’s that. There’s also the fact that I enjoy it: I love swirling characters and plots and dialogue around in my brain, and when I craft a good scene or a good chapter, I feel good about myself. And as a mother who is always hoping to bolster her children’s self-esteem and impart a healthy sense of self, I know that this can’t be underestimated: doing your job well and appreciating it (and being appreciated for it) arms you with confidence that carries over to other areas of your life.

What else? A lot of people will say that even if they are never published, they’d still write. I suppose that this is true – writing helps soothe some sort of inner-life of mine. But let’s be honest, for so many of us, getting published is a huge victory or goal – (Maybe it’s validation of our efforts? I’m not sure…) – and a good many of us write toward that goal. Of someday seeing our names in a book store or of flipping through a magazine and finding our byline. Writing in and of itself is undoubtedly good for the psyche (numerous studies have proven this to be true), but still, a lot of us, myself included, enjoy the fact that someone else might be reading (and reaping) our efforts. And, to that end, one of the things that I’ve found most gratifying about the writing process is how my words and stories can touch and help and heal others. Words connect us all, and that, certainly, is part of the reason that I write.

I’m still wresting with this concept, the intricacies of the glory of being published and the aspirations to keep honing my craft and what all of that means. Maybe next year, I’ll have an entirely different take and answer. But tell me, why do you write? If there were never a chance of publication, would you still write in the same way that you do now? Would you keep attempting to draft a perfect novel, even if it meant that it were for your eyes only?

Photo courtesy Flickr’s Bratan

Allison Winn Scotch

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