Cooling the Competitiveness
November 8th, 2007 by Allison Winn Scotch
One of the most frequent comments that I receive via my blog, Ask Allison, is how much people appreciate that I spill my inside-info and figurative guts on the blog. And I’m always a little taken aback that people think I’m doing them a huge favor by passing along this knowledge. But then, when I really start to think about it, maybe this spirit of paying it forward is a little unusual in our industry. It’s not unusual in my own circle – I’ve chosen to surround myself with positive, self-confident writer friends -but yeah, you know what? Too often, writers feel threatened by other writers, holding their cards feverishly close to their vests, as if by showing their hand, they’re somehow going to lose the whole house. It’s a strange mentally, I think, and one that can not only hamper your friendships (please, don’t get me started on a few writers who frequent forums of mine who refuse to share any and all knowledge, as if they hold some sort of anointed key to success), but can also stilt you professionally. Don’t believe me? Okay, well, here are a few arguments to convince you otherwise:
1) You reap what you sow. This is totally one of my favorite catchphrases these days because I really do believe - and have stories to back me up - that what you put out in the universe comes back to you in spades. Both positively and negatively. Before you think that I’m all karmically-kooky, read on. People ask me for favors all the time or shoot me emails to float past questions or a problems. I almost always answer them or assist with the favor. Mostly because I’m happy to help, but also because I know that when it comes time to cash in that favor – and I needed one this past week – people will be happy to reciprocate. And you can’t underestimate the power of other writers’ help when it comes to weaseling your way up the industry ladder, whether they refer you to another editor (as some have done for me) or refer you to their agent (as I have done for others).
2) There’s enough work to go around. If your friend has a kick-ass idea for a magazine, it doesn’t negate your own kick-ass idea for the same magazine. Accept the fact that you’re not going to come up with all of the brilliant ideas (even if you yourself are brilliant), and understand that everyone can get a piece of the pie. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had stories in a magazine, only to see friends’ stories right alongside of them. That, to me, doesn’t say that I got nudged out, it just says that I surround myself with really excellent writer friends.
3) You define yourself by the company you keep. See my point above. As I’ve worked my way up in this industry, I’ve been fortunate enough to do so with other up-and-coming writers and editors, and now, many of them are my friends, which has undoubtedly helped my career. They’re there to vet story ideas, to suggest potential markets, to swap industry gossip. Not to mention that it’s a small world: editors like knowing that you know other writers, sort of like how you like knowing that your blind date was friends with a bunch of college pals – it provides a level of reassurance that you’re qualified for the job (or that the guy is qualified for your date!). And the only way that you’re going to befriend others is to play nice and skip the petty competitiveness. I mean, really, does anyone admire Tonya Harding for bashing Nancy Kerrigan’s knees in? Er, no. And when you’re perversely competitive with others, you’re figuratively doing the same thing (albeit much more subtly and with less violence). Point being: no one likes a spoilsport.
4) Be competitive only with yourself. This is the last and most important point of all. The only way to become a better –and thus more successful – writer is to constantly improve your work. Worrying about what others are doing or seething with professional jealousy only undermines your goals and distracts you from the finish line: which is being the best writer you can be. So what if your acquaintance just landed a six-figure deal? What does that possibly say about you, other than you’re fortunate enough to know someone who might be able to help and support you down the road? It says nothing about you at all. Instead, admire her success and aim for it yourself by hunkering down and working, working, working. Eventually, you’ll be the one who can announce the six-figure deal, and when you do, you’ll have plenty of friends to celebrate with.
Photo Credit:
Flickr’s BIRD
I guess that, unfortunately, it’s pretty normal to see people being greedy and not sharing stuff with coleagues. They fear someone will “steal” their ideas, get ahead of them in their careers, etc.
The thing people should realize is that we all work better and live more happily when the work environment is good. When people help each other unselfishly and share things.
I always help others when I can. As you said, later the favour can be returned. Not that I’m helping just to be rewarded, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life is that you should try to get along with everyone and make friends. They can help you when you need them then.
Unfortunately, I’m not a professional writer… so I don’t know much about the business. But this subject can be aplied to all areas, I guess.
It’s definitely better to get in the habit of generosity, if only to make yourself feel like a better human being. One thing I love about blogging is the sense of community among writers…we’re all sharing whatever we can on our way to success, however the individual defines it for themselves.
Plus, negative karma can lead to a wicked backlash.
I agree with all points, Allison. I have several writer buddies who work in the same niche market with me, and we’re constantly watching each other’s backs, helping one another land new jobs, and even assisting on projects in hard times. Though writing can be a pretty lonely profession, solid connections and camaraderie make it less so.
Connections Are Everything.
i’m so grateful for all the help and support i’ve received from my writer friends and family. it is lonely and those jealous few do make it hard sometimes. but allison has it right, we help, support and try always to assume our companions have a healthy attitude towards all of our successes