Writer Unboxed’s CONTEST, CONTEST!
September 4th, 2007 by Therese Walsh
UPDATE: WRITER UNBOXED’S CONTEST, CONTEST IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED! THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED. KATH AND I WILL BE NARROWING THINGS DOWN TO THE “TOP TEN.” STAY TUNED FOR PHASE THREE, WHERE YOU WILL VOTE ON THE WINNER.
Thanks to the ultra-generosity of Alice Pope and the Writer’s Digest staff, I have in my possession a full set of Writer’s Market guides worth over $150.00 to give away to some lucky person.
Included in the set will be one copy of each of these newly updated guides:
What have you got to do to get these delicious tomes on your very own office shelf? Here’s what:
Make up a word. Or two. Or ten. Shakespeare made up something like 500 of them, so we believe you can make up at least one.
Enter as often as inspiration strikes.
Post your made-up word here in the comments section along with a definition. Here’s an example of something you can’t use, for inspiration:
Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
It doesn’t have to be funny, but making us smile and laugh won’t hurt you either.
Contest ends September 14th at midnight (EST).
After we’ve had time to peruse the words, we’ll narrow the entries down to our top ten. And then YOU’LL vote on the winner.
Winner takes all.
Because of the bulk of this prize, we’re going to limit entrants to people within the continental U.S. (Hey, if you’re outside of the continental U.S. and still want to enter for kicks, be our guest. But unless you have an aunt in Texas or Missouri or something, or a friend in Colorado who can claim your package for you, please don’t expect to win. Sorry.)
Final rule: If this word is found in any urban dictionary or anywhere else on the ‘net, it won’t make the top-ten list and certainly won’t win. Double check your entry before submitting.
Oh, yeah, and if a flood of people don’t try for this, Kath and I are officially besmugifying the lot of you from our WU will. (Ahem. Besmugify: to smear away with a thumb slathered in virgin olive oil.)
Please help us spread the word. Thanks!
Have a question? Ask! And good luck to all.
How about … “UGHIFY” a feeling to be so incredibly frustrated that only “UGH” can slip through your lips! My husband “ughifies” me all the time!
Annoygavating - Annoying and aggravating at the same time. Hubby made it up years ago when he was searching for a word to describe his frustration, and that’s what came out.
Kstuff - A kid-friendly way to say “crap”. What’s all this cr—-kstuff lying on the floor?
pookill (verb).
To become as one’s pet.
Last Halloween, Lana Whatshamgoden pookilled in a puffy blank and white dress and meowed lisp.
pookill (verb)
To become as one’s pet.
Last Halloween, Lana Whatshamgoden pookilled in a puffy blank and white dress and meowed lisp.
Altugooglious
(adjective)
Ranking high, primarily the top ranking, on a Google search results page.
Also, Altugooglizer – one who works diligently to achieve an altugooglious website.
Origin: “altus,” Latin for higher; and “Google,” geek for wildly popular Internet search engine developed by an excessively rich and rapidly growing technology company of the same name.
LOL! Keep impresifying, peeps!
Undeepenet- (fishing term) To shorten the fishing line.
Keybits (noun)
The crumbs and other miscellaneous unidentifiable particles (likely years old) that accumulate in your keyboard, never to be seen until you make the mistake of turning your keyboard upside-down.
Flustrated: Flustered and frustrated at the same time.
Naything (pronoun)
1. Something that is a thing of any kind and of no kind at the same time.
2. To any and no extent.
3. Something and nothing, which makes it something.
desperspiration: sweat-inducing desperation
mascomones: Pheromones from someone super studly (read masculine)
arrogismatic: Arrogantly roguish features [i.e. He wasn’t just charismatic, he was arrogismatic.]
tangified: overuse of self-tanner.
After being asked repeatedly if she glowed in the dark, Molly realized being tangified wasn’t as great as she had originally believed.
Ok, make up a word:
Tygoon: an ogre/goon of wealth and status.
“Shrek is a very wealthy tygoon.”
Yahoily: the success of removing the oily, greasy bits on your appliances.
“Thanks to the cleansing power of Mr. Green, you too can shout ‘YAHOILY! MY OVEN IS CLEAN AGAIN!’”
not sure if I’m doing this right but… my word is…
Everystuff.. another word for everything. meaning all.
I searched through the closets and everystuff but didn’t find it.
I cleaned the kitchen and everystuff.
Vomitous: (adj.)
When something is so overwhelmingly ugly that it could presumably induce vomiting. Usually used to reference bad fashion.
Example: Those MC Hammer pants are vomitous.
zephyrillic
adj. Describing a focused breeze-like force
“She counted the zephyrillic pillars of ash rising into the night sky that had long replaced the stars.”
Spatulate - (SPAT-choo-late) v. the act of using a spatula. Also, spatulation.
You need to spatulate those pancakes before they burn.
Or
Your excessive spatulation has not allowed the cheese to melt on the inside of my grilled cheese.
A blog is, of course, a web-log. But there are lots of varieties: the biolog (biographical blog), the newsalog (newspaper style blog), the magalog (magazine style blog), and the dreaded hackalog (blog whose purpose for existing is the monetizing ads).
Then, there’s the blovel, the blog novel, which comes in daily installments. Varieties here include the romablovel (the romance blog novel), the mystablovel (the mystery blog novel), the adveblovel (adventure/action blog novel–not to be confused with the adviblovel, a novel so bad that you take two Advils and go to bed at 7 pm), and the kiddablovel (juvenile blog novel).
Every good blovelist insists on having a good agiant representing him, one of those agents who stand out selling blovels in his (strike that: in HER) specialty area and is able to get those millavances (million-dollar advances–not to be confused with the millivances, which are royalties that pay a millioneth of a cent for each impression).
Of course, blovelists love to stratevise (plan revisions) using only the best revisagies (revision strategies), while drinking a quadruple-shot, soy-milk, skinny vanilla innoculatte and reading the official Starbucks coffalog, which has just posted the day’s installment of As The Worlalog Turns, the blovel that has the bits and bytes of mid-America crying, “Fowl! Fowl!”
Squabbleheinie — A particularly delectable pair of buttocks that provokes much squabbling among admirers
sheshcamini = (v) being overcomed with emotion in a sudden rush.
eroticity - (eh-RAH-sit-ee) Sexiness. Example: I love the eroticity of her writing.
Potteresque- Anything closely resembling or related to the Harry Potter phenomenon.
“Of course, blovelists love to stratevise (plan revisions) using only the best revisagies (revision strategies), while drinking a quadruple-shot, soy-milk, skinny vanilla innoculatte and reading the official Starbucks coffalog, which has just posted the day’s installment of As The Worlalog Turns, the blovel that has the bits and bytes of mid-America crying, “Fowl! Fowl!””
ROFLMAO, Darcy, that read like a Jasper Fforde passage!
Wigify - person who has an obsession with wigs.
mamalicious: a delicious mama (an alternative to M.I.L.F, which I’ve never liked…maybe it was the movie that spawned it)
Just imagine your husband saying it to you…”Wow, you are so mamalicious tonight.”
Good, right?
dreadline - deadline you won’t make
I like that one…but now I can’t stop…
pseudofamous - reality TV star
(ADD) attention desire disorder - disfunction of reality TV stars
Sorry…Big Brother isn’t on yet…
synopiss - a synopsis you wrote when pissed
wallbanger - book you can’t believe was published
weblicate - something in print, now on the web
exaggermentative (ig’zaju`r men *ta *tiv) a verb
1) to overinflate the truth making it untrue or hard to believe; inducing sheer confusion and frustration in an individual
2) the art of overstating a truth with such flair and drama in order to elicit sympathy and/or pity (or sex); a ploy to get one’s own way
3) the act of exaggerating a fact over and above the normal exaggeration making it difficult for others to take one seriously, causing them to just give up or give in
“Oh my gosh, you are sooooo exaggermentative!!!”, his wife exclaimed in sheer frustration!
“Xaustitated” adj. To be beyond exhausted, as in, “That 20 mile hike in this heatwave was so fatiguing, I’m just xaustitated.” Derivative of “exhausted,” with the first syllable expunged due to sheer tiredness. In cases of extreme fatigue, the word may be shortened even further to “xausted.”
Godincident (God’in”ci*dent) noun
1) an event that appears to be accidental or co-incidental but is actually a work of God
2) something amazing and unexplainable in human terms yet undeniable
3) divine congruency; synchronous action appropriated by God
“There are no true coincidences, it is all a matter of Godincident!”
moinkification: to become a gineau pig, to become someone’s test subject. I knew my moinkification was complete as I sampled recipe after recipe until my mother found the perfect chocolate pie.
Actually, this is my daughter Cat’s word…
Schmoogie (sch-moo-gee): 1) Something you say whose name you can’t think of off the top of your head. 2) Thingamabob. Whatsit. 3) Insert your own meaning here.
Me: Hey babe, can you get that…that thing for me?
Hubby: What thing?
Me: You know…that…schmoogie.
Hubby: Huh?
Me: The schmoogie! Sitting on the desk there.
Hubby: You mean the dictionary?
Me: Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.
Woohooing: a happy dance one breaks into when receiving good or exciting news
Eg. When I receive word that I won this contest I will be woohooing it
Paewa - a green, cakelike bread. It is characterized as being fluffy, sweet and filling.
Cashectomy [n.]
The entire removal of disposable income.
1. What is performed on parents by college kids.
2. What is performed on taxpayers by the government.
croutonniere (noun): a messy eater whose salad always ends up on her lapel.
balderdashing (adj): describes a beautiful man who doesn’t make any sense in conversations.
tartifical (adj) describes a woman under forty who has had too much plastic surgery
appause (noun): the awkward moment in a poetry reading when the audience doesn’t know whether they should clap or not.
tavernacular (noun): the lingo spoken by bar patrons
tapiocaca (noun): baby poop with the consistency of pudding
tattoomuch (adj): describes a person with tattoos on over 30% of their body
cheesewizardy (noun): skill or cleverness when decorating Ritz crackers
wonderbraous (adj): the divine feeling after hours of digging through the bins at the Victoria’s Secret Half-Yearly event of finally finding the perfect-sized bra on sale
Viewd (noun): Any feud covered by the media that was started by a regular castmember on “The View.”
warplain (noun): the state of living life as usual, as if there isn’t a war going on.
Nunya - Meaning “it’s none of your business.” My daughter coined this term to use on her brother 10,000 times a day and drive me nuts.
Kidzheimers - the memory loss that comes from your children sucking out your brain cells when they’re born.
coffeeandcritique.blogspot.com
Scooble: to write freely without editing; a form of scribbling or doodling with words. “Katie scoobled the first draft of her essay in one hour.”
Webworthy – web content having worth, value
Blogass - A vain, self-important blog
Wobo - One who leaves comments from blog to blog without a permanent home (blog/site)
Wordtastic: When a writer finds that perfect word choice. “Holy mother of pearl! That whole paragraph is wordtastic!”
Coffeeme: A serious coffee drinker’s morning reply.
“Good morning, Al.”
“Coffeeme.”
Mmmlater: Response writers give to any and all questions while they are working.
“Mom, can I put the cat in the microwave?”
“Mmmlater.”
Dreamacidal (Adjective)
Pertaining to dreamacide, or the killing of a dream by another, esp. a parent, teacher, mentor, colleague or critic.
“The newest member of our writing group is particularly dreamacidal in his critiques.”
Digidyslexia (noun) A condition wherein one’s fingers will not type letters in the correct order to form a word. This condition results in much forceful backspacing and may ultimately cause keyboard damage.
MAPKIN. This originally comes from my daughter, but I think she’s been listening to Bruce Springsteen too much
From “Open All Night”
“I met Wanda when she was employed behind the counter at the Route 60 Bobs Big Boy.
Fried chicken on the front seat, she’s sittin’ in my lap.
We’re wipin’ our fingers on a Texaco roadmap”
So using a roadmap as a napkin, is a MAPKIN.
Winker (noun, singular): If both turn signals on a car are commonly called ‘blinkers’, using just one of the turn signals should be called a ‘winker’.
friendsied: the state of being overwhelmed with trying to keep up with the blogs, facebooks, and myspace sites of an ever growing list of online acquaintances
Unblogable (adjective): The word a spouse or partner can say to a blogger after a humiliating incident that would otherwise be considered a blogable moment. “The fact that I walked four blocks with my zipper down is unblogable, OK?”
HYPERNACTIVE
Adjective
The active anxiety writers feel when they realize they don’t have a knack for hyping books.
The hypernactive astronaut-turned-author attempted to hype his book: Seeing Stars by doing book signings in a centrifuge.
My word is POMMILATE with a French root meaning to throw apples at!
Ballectomy: Another word for being “whipped”, whereas the “manhood” has been removed from the man.
Shawn can’t come to the poker game, his wife gave him a ballectomy.
Dumbified: to be completely confused or caught with a “duh” expression.
Tonya stood dumbified after her boss explained the project.
DELLectible: a Dell computer that has all the cool programs you need.
I love writing on my new laptop, it’s DELLectible!
Timbukone: What Timbuktu used to be
Vexitate (verb): To stew in one’s own anger for prolonged periods of time.
Vocal point (noun): A person who seeks to become the center of attention through excessive talking.
Blog horn (noun): A warning to bloggers about posting personal information on the Internet.
Bloggy (adjective): the disorientation one feels after reading/writing too many blogs.
Mood chain (noun): The domino effect one person’s mood has on others around him/her.
Mood processor (noun): A blender used for alcoholic beverages.
‘Tudelor (noun): a spoiled toddler.
Chicken pecs (noun): A pectoral-muscle wasting disease.
Nappuccino (noun): A high quality afternoon doze.
Robotomize (noun): to deprive of critical thinking skills.
Blogify - To make something more important than it really is by means of one’s personal blog. Also see Blogariffic.
(I do this all the time LOL!)
Stample — what a stampede of cattle does when it tramples over something.
Schadenfrienda: Refers to acquaintances whose only joy in life is talking about how miserable they are.
Wordinate: The process of forcing yourself to write even though you know every word is excrement.
Martyrini - the act of having to make and shake one’s own damn martini, because, like everything else if one wants it done right, or even at all, one always has to do it oneself because, of course, no one else ever notices what needs to be done, so one just keep on noticing and doing and sighing, and apparently drinking. No, no, don’t bother getting up - I’ll get it. Extra bitters please………
karmalization - the act of one getting what one deserves
…”Can you believe her karmalization happened so quickly? I mean, who knew her hair would burst into flames like that?”
desticky - to clean a sticky toddler after, say, a gigantic lollipop.
…”Alright Sam, lets get you destickied.”
Lattemaximus–equivalent to 3 venti lattes
“Can I please have a non-fat, vanilla lattemaximus, please?”
“Today is going to be a lattemaximus day.”
Yuckerdogs (yuck.er.dogs)
adj. describing something gross
funcle (fun.cull)
(n) a grumpy uncle
Romax (rah.max)
Rocking out to the maximum [slang]
Example: “You’re romax!”
snarkle/snarkling–the act of patroling the floor for dropped bits of food by a pet dog, especially a miniature dog
snar-kul
Buppy snarkles in the kitchen every evening when I prepare dinner.
deadit (verb): to edit so severely that the original loses all meaning
not to be confused with
dreadit (noun): the copyedit from hell, in which someone has gone psycho with a red pen
(non-competitive contribution from Australia)
chillax - chill and relax.
so many wonderful words! heres one my mother made up (albiet accidently):
Ruggish(adjective) - very good looking in a rugged, rougish way eg. Aragorn from LOTR
or one by my grandfather (also accidental):
Spoonfed(verb) - mispronounced past tense of spoon-fed
btw the last entry by me was also non-competitive from Australia…
Holy Word War! This is great! And here I thought maybe we’d have 50 entries by next Friday.
My 9-yr-old came up with a good one this morning (not for competition, obv):
POOPERSCUBA: someone who has to swim at the bottom of the tank to clean up the fish huaj. (You might guess what my family means by “huaj.”)
LINTERING: When someone walks along, dropping pieces of lint from their pockets onto the floor/ground. “There goes Charles, lintering all the way to his car.”
SQUINKY: That awkward feeling where your good nature prevents you from telling someone that they need to back off, chill, get a life and leave you alone, but you’re going to explode if you don’t find a way to say it. “He always makes me feel squinky.” Or “I thought we having a good conversation, but then George seemed to go all squinky on me.”
Darn no edit feature…
From before: karmalization: the PROCESS of one getting what one deserves.
…”Can you believe her karmalization happened so quickly? I mean, who knew her hair would burst into flames like that?”
I would like to withdraw my word. Turns out that it is in the urban dictionary…but it’s a racist term. Bummer, since I thought I made it up.
This is my 10 year-old daughter’s word, actually, for a group of vampires: a *bleed* of vampires (as in a gaggle of geese).
And to make up for it:
ickcombobulated: v. To feel discombobulated and flustered after finding out an action you did has embarrasing consequences. To feely icky and flustered at the same time.
After learning about her made up word, LaShawn rushed to remove her word in an ickcombobulated rush.
Weblag (noun) Fatigue, irritability, and other mental and physical symptoms resulting from web surfing with a dial-up connection.
“By the time my research was done, I had a monster case of weblag.”
Which might cause someone to be a…
Curbudgeon (noun) A cranky shopper who cuts you off in the checkout line.
Okay, here goes…
BARNICIDE: the crime a parent is tempted to commit after being over-exposed to a certain manic purple dinosaur. “After hearing the dinosaur toy hop around the house all day yelling ‘Super-dee-duper!’ Andrea ripped out the batteries, effectively committing Barnicide.”
PEEZE: the act of accidentally peeing a litle during a sneeze. (Come on… I know I’m not the only one who’s done this! ) “Eew…did you just peeze?”
Booktastic: a book that’s so good you can’t put it down. “The new Harry Potter is absolutely booktastic!”
Schizofriendic: the person you make friends with before you realize they are annoying/insane, and by that time, it’s too late…you can’t get rid of them. “When Sally showed up at my house at 3 a.m. wanting me to bake a cake with her, I realized that she just might be Schizofriendic.”
Oops! I hit “enter” before finishing the definition of tempodimples. Here it is in a sentence:
After writing for three hours in a wicker chair, I rose, only to have my six-year-old daughter laugh at the tempodimples decorating the backs of my thighs.
Gidifying: Something or someone who has the potential to cause you to feel absolutely giddy.
Positivity: The act of being, and remaining, positive. Term oftens recommends a positive attitude.
“We thank you, in advance, for your positivity regarding this matter.”
Noisiating: The type of sound a mother of seven small children hears when all the children must play inside because of bad weather.
decafargic - the low energy level achieved through lack of caffiene. Thanks to her doctor’s recommendations she finds herself feeling decafargic by noon.
cardiacpopups - the messages that popup on your computer when you are in the middle of an important project and warn you that your computer is about to conk out.
defurrify - to remove pet hair/dander from a person or thing
Hearanoid (adjective) The fear that someone else is listening as you talk to yourself.
I posted a handful of made-up words on Evil Editor’s blog within the past month. It was a fun writing exercise, with no prizes (except glory, of course).
May I use them for this contest?
One example: synopshit-a summary of one’s novel
Thanks
Hiya, Chris. Yes, please do consider those fair game for the contest. Looking forward to seeing them!
Thank you!! I post there as Church Lady
Hooker - opening line of a query soliciting an agent
Masqueriade - a query pretending to represent a good manuscript
Merloti - the passages you write while in a drunken stupor on Friday or Saturday nights, and also Tuesday mornings
Smeerpatania - the sequel to Miss Snark’s best-selling novel Rabbitania
Spec fic: books with really really small print that force the reader to wear spectacles
You-rotica: sexy fiction for zombies
Synopshit - a summary of your latest novel
This is fun! I want to think of more!!
Howtowriteabookism (noun) - disease, addiction of buying massive quantities of how-to books on writing, in effort to become a better writer, at times to the neglect of actually writing
fretiting: worrying about your edits
premature e-queriation: sending an e-query before your manuscript is ready
blog-ass: aka secretary spread
Apple I-Cone: an expensive sound-proof capsule that allows writers to get in the zone
Optirectalisis (Opti’rek-tolisis)Latin in origin.
That is the affliction of the Optic Nerve crossed with the Rectum. It is a medical phenomenon that exists in pessimistic individuals that have a shitty outlook on life..:>)
1. With such Optirectalisis he will never see the glass as half full.
Poundaparafauna (Pound’a-para-fau-na) Latin in origin.
A simple substitute for the phrase, “Beating around the bush”.
1. “Stop your Poundaparafauna and get to the point”!
Coitus Interuptus (Koy’tus Inter’up-tus) Latin derrivitive.
A medical term for when the moment is right and everything goes wrong. The lack of standing up to the task.
1. She was on the verge, he had performed flawlessly till the Coitus Interuptus hit him.
dimsum (v.) the acting of pulling down the airplane shades in front and in back of you so that you can sleep a little
Excuse me, do you mind if I dimsum?
perspeptiveness (adj.) the quality of having perceptive perspectives
outoftuna (adj.) used to describe someone who can’t sing the Chicken of the Sea song or who has nothing on which to put his mayonnaise
Childifearite. It means the fear of writing a children’s book! Honestly. I’ve tried, started, and made up stories for children. Then, voila! there appears the “ghost” of REJECTION as it dances in large letters in the darkened corner of my den — as I sit in front of my laptap!
My word and definition never made it through - just the sample sentence. So I’m trying again.
Tempodimple: n. a temporary ridge sometimes left in the leg or buttocks after one has sat in the same place for a prolonged period of time.
After writing for three hours in a wicker chair, I rose, only to have my six-year-old daughter laugh at the tempodimples decorating the backs of my thighs.
What a fun contest! I’m glad I’m not judging it.
editania–compulsive editing
formrejectobia–fear of form rejections
museatopia–those blissful times when a muse inspires your writing and writing seems effortless
thesaurusania–compulsive searching for the perfect word
promotionism–authors preoccupied with hyping their book/s
Thumbitis–aching thumbs caused by excessive texting
DWOP–driving while on phone
Phonincident–accident resulting from inattention while using cellphone
What a great contest idea, and what hard acts to follow; I’ve had a blast reading all these.
Stepininit - The act of saying precisely the wrong thing, at the wrong time, to the wrong person.
snarkolepcy - Sudden attacks of biting humor whenever writing reviews - usually brought on by poor quality work
Here are a few for consideration:
“funfried” - adj meaning you’ve reached the state of exhaustion from a full day of activities (It’s been fun hanging out with the kids but I am officially funfried for the day.)
“sugarshake” - noun meaning an intense kiss (A big sugarshake was the start of a happy reunion.)
“dribblefuse” - noun meaning the germs bonded to a surface that are passed on to someone else (My friend caught mono from the dribblefuse on her husband’s coffee mug.)
“dram” - noun meaning digitial memory card, technology random access memory or digital RAM (He transferred the photos from the dram to his computer.)
mysterectomy (n.) the result of a cynical reviewer’s column on a whodunit
relaxative (n.) a suppository that allows one to chill on the commode
gin and catatonic (n.) a very powerful alcoholic beverage that renders one unable to move
“Would you like a glass of wine or a gin and catatonic?”
philanthrantasy (n.) the hope, usually unrealistic, that some anonymous rich person will donate a lot of money to you
fantalastic (adj.) describes an awesome pair of pants that are never too big or too small but always shape to your body
Barbequeue (n.) 1. the line at Toys R Us for that newest, blond doll
amicusectomy: the act of distancing oneself from a friend/friends. Root word: amicus (Latin for friend)and -ectomy (cutting away–literally, surgical removal).
NaNo Second: the amount of time you can spend on brainstorming a new plot point during the month of November.
(noncompetitive, obv, but I couldn’t resist!)
falafalafagus- A really large falafel sandwich stuffed to overflowing with hummus, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled veggies, tahini and hot sauce.
pythong- A really tight thong usually worn by a man.
kachunga-the remote control. A family word for twenty years where’s the kachunga?
mommy-come-lately: a woman who becomes a mom late-in-life–and excels at it.
This word puts a “maternal” twist on the old-fashioned term “Johnny-come-lately.”
I came up with it after I became a late-in-life mom and didn’t like being called Advanced Maternal Age (AMA) or an Elderly Mother.
Yahweeee- The sound God makes while going down a slide.
Celebrithitis- Becoming ill over how much attention and importance we give two-dimensional celebrities these days.
Celebrectomy- The solution to the previous term, which involves throwing your television out the window and hopefully braining a celebrity as they are passing along the sidewalk below.
Diet Joke- humor without a punchline
CRAPPLE: (n.) of, relating to, or similar to crap, though with a perkier essence. SYN. crap-lite
That last children’s story I wrote was pure crapple.
FLEAK: (n.) something which occurs as a fluke; a freak incident.
Talk about a fleak! Can you believe that kid’s magazine bought my crapple?
Peezazz(noun): A polite way to talk about a woman’s unmentionables.
Eg. Getting out of the shower I wrapped myself in my towel tightly. I did not want to risk it falling off in a locker room filled with seniors. I’d rather my peezazz not be on display.
Robotomy (n.) The removal of part of a robot’s brain. Technically,the opposite of artificial intelligence.
“After Charlie’s robotomy, he could no longer mow my lawn.”
Bifolkals (n.) pronounced bi-folk-als
Ordinary folks who sometimes go this way and sometimes go that way.
Recyfling (v.) pronounced re-cy-fling
Attempting to rekindle an old flame. “Recyfling is good for the single person’s environment, but it can really hurt the marital environment.”
manyminimenopause:
Many people do not realize that the word menopause is actually just a shortened version of the word manyminimenopause, which describes the many mini menopauses a woman has before she finally can say goodbye to those annoying monthly interruptions of normal life.
Obstressing (verb) Worrying over every little detail, to the point of nervous breakdown.
poopertunity:
I just got a puppy and so I’ve been a little poop obsessed. I make sure to spend enough time outside so he has the poopertunity not to mess up my house.
Beschmuckaad:
To have a substance of known or unknown origin schmeered on your face.
“Grandma’s lipstick left the baby’s face beschmuckaad.”
Befattitude (n.) The opinion that it is perfectly fine to be fat
Beflattitude (n.) The opinion that large breasts are not the most important aspect of good looks
Begladitude (n.) a positive outlook on life
Thinkulate:
The act of frantically wiggling your fingers and waving your hands to help the person you are talking to, guess the word you want to say, but can’t remember.
“Rebecca’s hands flew wildly as she thinkulated. Until we both excitedly blurted out the word she had forgotten.”
Click-Click
The act of pressing the button on the car key, to lock the doors and arm the alarm.
“Oops, I forgot to Click-Click.” (Beep) There I’ve got it now.”
Keyblivion
A sinister disease that strikes writers. It begins with a stiffness in the fingers, that is noticible only when you sit down to write. The fingers hoover above the keyboard as if they are not sure which keys to touch. It usually ends with the writer staring, sightlessly at the blank computer screen. In extreme cases the writer may also present with severly tousled hair. Keyblivion sufferers can be dangerous, if you see one, it is best to keep your distance.
Keybliviot
A writer who suffers from Keyblivion.
Ubduk (n.) - monster that abducts your muse, leaving you with writer’s block.
Haeva (n.) - a soft, tender term of endearment for a loved one
droolicious (adj.) - so delicious sounding or looking that it causes one to drool
sexth-sense (n.) - a child’s ability to always interrupt when his parents are getting naked
Frizztastic–(adjective)A word to make a very bad hair day sound cool. Used often with naturally curly hair.
Schmeef–(adjective, adverb)Multi-purpose word, able to be inserted anywhere without offending anyone. “What the schmeef are you guys doing to my couch?” Also refers to the act of moaning about one’s lot in life. “Quit schmeefing and pick up your room!”
Schmeefie (Personal noun)–Someone who “schmeefs” a lot. Also used to identify one’s maternal unit. “My sister’s pickin’ on me, Schmeefie!!”
Flaz–what happens to your diet coke when you leave it out all day. It gets Flaz, or unfizzy.
Stap–The time of day when every one is grouchy and dinner is not quite ready. 5:15 is stap time.
Chilent - A child who is acting more mature than their parent at the time.
My chilent told me I was grumpy and had better take a nap.
Bludoying - a combination of bloody + annoying. Example “that barking dog is bludoying”.
Pititus - suffering from dealing with a consistent PITA (pain in the %$*#).
Pobo - Poets Block, same as Writers Block. Example, “I’m suffering some serious pobo, bad enough to make a poet weep.”
Pweep - weeping poet, suffering from acute Pobo.
Skired - too tired to think straight.
Spellify - use spelling to correct mistakes in manuscript written after midnight.
Okay, this was fun, but I’m getting skired.
laser flabotomy (n. pronounced just like laser phlebotomy) a simple medical procedure in which part of a person’s flab is removed
expletasize (v. pronounced ex pleh ta size) to explain to the bride at your final bridesmaid’s dress fitting why the dress no longer fits, all the while cursing
Testycle (tes te cul)
A male-only state of irritability or crabbiness.
Ex.: “Don’t get testycle with me, buddy!”
MaNIPPLEate–
Power of persuasion by baring one’s breasts to get what you want; generally most effective when done by a woman.
Ex: As she sashayed in front of him with nothing on, he screamed, “You will NOT manippleate me into buying that…well…uh…how much is it? Ok..if its not too much, I’ll consider it…um…what were you saying…sure…anything you want, baby…”
Stupermom (n.) the state most mothers reach by 9:30 PM, after a full day of childcare, cooking, folding laundry, shopping for school supplies, hauling to and from activities, and helping with homework, when their beloveds are playing tag in the living room and their father is not home yet. “At 9:30 PM, our mother ineveitably turns into STUPERMOM.”
Spailure. the grade you received on your essay because you forgot that: Ewe canned trussed yore spiel chocker.
absolete (adj.) describes abdominals that are just so far away from being flat that it’s no use investing “crunch” energy in them anymore
I’m working on my own, but I have to say I am a big fan of “cashectomy.”
Some funny stuff out there!
I give you my favorite swear word: Nutbunnies. As in, Oh nutbunnies, I forgot to mail a check to the utility company and now we have no electricity.
Whizzy
The name for the little white lies parents tell their children. For instance when we tell them about the Tooth Fairy, we aren’t lying, we are just telling Whizzies…
snitful n. the state of mind in which one’s craw overflows with distaste at the snobbiness of another individual
Courtesy of the kiddies…
Thing-two: A thingy
“I have a thing-two,” she said as she picked at a loose piece of skin on her toe.
Thumb-toe: Big toe
“Waaaaah! I bumped my thumb-toe.”
Scrumbely-dumbely: an imperfection
“I won’t eat it!” said the toddler. “There’s a scrumbely-dumbely on it.”
Festicle n. A one man party.
discomblogulate v. to overwhelm a net surfer by waves of blog subscriptions flooding his or her email inbox or with the number of blogs discovered by searching for only one blog topic
Here is my new word for the contest. Gutteratti–the opposite of the glitteratti. A person may look like a glitteratti but act more like a gutteratti, ergo, identifying all traits of a true gutteratti is a work in progress. Hope I made it in time for the competition.
On the same theme, but with variation, is this suggested by a Rabbi friend of mine: drekeratti.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
After moving to Florida, I’ve come up with a new word:
geezette (n.)a queer, odd, eccentric woman of a certain age (female form of geezer).
My husband and I (who are geezers) have come up with names for a variety of services geared to the elderly:
Park-a-Geeze (daycare for elderly).
Rent-a-Geeze (for special occasions such as someone to play Santa Clause).
Mentablog v. - All of the things you “menta” blog, but just never got a round tuit.
Veritanauseum n. - The affliction pertaining to a person who constantly blurts out things inappropriately, and won’t shut up.
Mentablog v. - All of the things you “menta” blog (and have been carrying around in your head), but just never got a round tuit.
Veritanauseum n. - The affliction pertaining to a person who constantly blurts out things inappropriately, and won’t shut up.
Netropy n. - The force in the universe that causes a person on the internet to stray further and further from what they were originally looking for in the first place.
Iri n. (pronounced EYE-RYE) - A much better word for more than one iris.
CONTEST OFFICIALLY ENDED (Friday, Sept 14th at midnight). Thanks everyone for participating! Stay tuned…
Haveard (noun)
(Hay verd)
-known as the coolest girl on
the planet.
Example: I had an amazing time with
Haveard because she’s sooooooo cool!